Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Our minds are like houses. When they're new, they're empty. As we live our lives we acquire treasures that eventually turn into shit that creates clutter. Some of this stuff is useful, while some of it is simply junk which just creates obstacles for us. What if we could eliminate the nonsense we don't need, and create more room for useful things? Join us on this podcast where we discuss removing what we don't need, implementing beneficial changes to our minds, bodies and souls, to create a life of abundance and fulfillment.
Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Ep. 113 - Recharge Your Emotional Battery
Feeling short-tempered, drained, or like your empathy meter is flashing red? We dig into what it means to run on low emotional batteries and how a six-second pause can change the course of your day. From workplace crunch to family friction to those white-knuckle moments in traffic, we show how micro-moves—tiny habits and deliberate pauses—turn reactivity into choice and frustration into clarity.
We start with awareness, because noticing the dimmer lights is the first charge. Then we get practical: count to six before you respond, put your shoes by the door to make movement frictionless, and try a disarming “thank you” instead of a knee-jerk rebuttal. These simple tools reduce emotional spikes, smooth conversations, and free up energy for what matters. Along the way, we talk about year-end pressure, the myth of waiting for a perfect restart, and why consistently inconsistent routines keep the thread alive when life surges.
Under the hood, this is brain science at work. Neuroplasticity favors what you repeat with attention and emotion. Stop walking the old path of snappy comebacks and doom loops, and brush grows back. Walk a new path—pause, breathe, ask one clean question—and it becomes easier to find under stress. We also highlight the global community at Six Seconds, an emotional intelligence network focused on growing empathy, optimism, and trust at scale. Your energy affects rooms you enter; tune it and you’ll feel the shift in yourself and around you.
If this conversation gave you a fresh tool or a gentler lens, share it with a friend who’s running on fumes, hit follow so you never miss an episode, and leave a review telling us where you’ll use your six-second pause next.
Hello and welcome to Clean Your Fucking House, bitch, with Nancy, Kevin, and Lou. In our program, we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet, from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up? We'll show you how. Get ready to clean your fucking house.
SPEAKER_00:Hi everybody. Welcome back. Lou and I are here today, and we're gonna do a little bit different kind of introduction of our subject, if you will, but we were both kind of I I was gonna say inspired by, but I think we just felt the connection to the idea that came from this um this app we saw online. And and the organization is called Six Seconds, the Emotional Intelligence. Um my gosh. The Emotion Intelligence Network, too simple to forget. And what touched us was this thought the world is running low on emotional charge, and many of us can actually feel this, right? So levels of empathy, optimism, and trust are dropping. Burnout is rising, and these statistics are proof that our emotional battery batteries are running low. Um and you know, when your batteries run low, the lights are dimmer, the responses are slower, the channel doesn't change on the TV remote. Like things just don't happen in the way that we anticipate or need. So human nature right now is out there. Mother nature and human nature are running on low batteries. And I think connected to that is one of the things, Lou, that we always talk about is just being aware of it, right? The minute you notice your battery is low, you have a different response. Like at some point you might be like, damn it, why isn't this thing doing what it's supposed to? And you get frustrated with it. But once you realize, oh, it's a low battery, okay. There's some more ease connected to it. So your whole, your whole or me, my whole body feels different. So maybe just having awareness to this low battery on our earth right now could help people. What do you think?
SPEAKER_04:I 100% agree as far as the awareness piece of this particular topic. A couple of things come to mind as you shared. And first of all, welcome everyone. Glad to be here and and glad that you are all here joining us. Six seconds, just the name tells me a lot. Meaning, are we really at a point? And I guess we are, where six seconds is the point of our our our uh what is it? Our our um uh oh goodness, the word escapes me at the moment.
SPEAKER_00:But breaking point or recovering.
SPEAKER_04:Well, the breaking point and just our attention span.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You know, attention. I I always hear about when it comes to say training and any aspect of life where we need to spend time on it. Yeah, our attention spans are now with three minutes, two minutes, one minute. I'm like, oh my goodness, six seconds? Really? I mean, I know this whole app is all about maybe regaining, recharging our lives, and it really only takes six six seconds to do that. But again, just the whole concept of six seconds, my god, yeah, wow. The other aspect is when batteries run low, it's so challenging to know because it's so gradual, little by little by little by little, and then we're like, damn, I'm I'm crashing, I'm burnt out. What happened? Because we aren't always it's not an immediate thing, right?
SPEAKER_00:It is not something that just sparks, it's crashing, and we're stuck in a low spot without even realizing it, without even realizing it.
SPEAKER_04:And what more often than not is the element of our life that suffers when we get to that point, or at least get to a point where we're aware that our battery is low and needs recharging is self-care, right? Mental self-care, physical self-care, any type of self-care. And quite frankly, for those of you out there, Nancy and I are victims of this as well. It's not like we aren't immune. We are both we're we're both talking about this before we started the episodes. Like I'm sharing with Nancy, I had this big meeting and I needed to prepare for that, and I had to sacrifice other parts of my life because I needed to really focus on that. My work life balance got thrown out of balance and just going on and on. I'm like, even though we are approaching year end, we are recording this particular episode in on November 8th here of 2025. We're approaching year end. Year end, for the most part, it is a dual-edged sword. There's that aspect of okay, we got the bulk of what we needed to do for the year done. Now we can kind of coast, but then there's like, oh my goodness, we need to get ready for the next year. So we need to get goal setting and budgeting and whatever, all this stuff. There's never a slow period we're never done, right? And now we're crashing and we're wondering why. And it's like, well, this is why.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I think that whole year end, excuse me, thought makes it made me cringe a little because we've talked about this in episodes previously as well. It doesn't have to be tomorrow or next week or next year. And embracing what can we do now and what are the indicators of the performance now that can help us identify what we want to shift and evolve to, and that there isn't this finite period that we have to end and start over. And I know our finance guy here is in a in a system where you have to be, there is some finiteness, but we don't have to have that finiteness in our life.
SPEAKER_04:That that's completely true. And we talk about that all the time. Yeah, it's like, oh, what is the biggest activity that tends to start on one one? Weight loss programs.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:No need to wait until one-one. Get out there as soon as you can. I'll share that I have been myself, like everyone, struggling with the ups and downs of physical activity and making sure that I make that a regular part of my day. While I could certainly benefit from some weight loss as well, it's not like the major driver of my desire to get back to physical activity. It's merely just the fact that physical activity is helpful, even if it's something small. Yeah. And with that said, the starting off small, Nancy, we you, Kevin and I, we always talk about you know what? If you if you've gone so far down a path where you're not doing anything, just start small. Yeah, put those shoes by the door.
SPEAKER_00:And and yeah, think about what they'll give you. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:And think about what then the next step, pun intended.
SPEAKER_00:So funny. Yeah, it's it's I I have a person I've been working with through my coaching practice for for a number of years. And what's interesting is we've really become more aware of the peaks and valleys and the ebbs and flows, and then being able to find acceptance in that this is a low time for physical activity, and then make shifts that bring um more consistent activity, and then recognizing that it kind of has to be put aside for things like you know, your work priorities took over, but then getting back to it and feeling like it could be okay to have a consistently inconsistent routine that continues to carry you forward. At least you we haven't dropped it or let it go or put it down. Um so hanging on and continuing.
SPEAKER_04:And yes, it's it's certainly going to have that ebb and flow element to it. We I know we always strive to have a structured routine. And I and I am a big believer in a structured routine, because end of the day, when we move toward that, it benefits all areas. And what I mean by that is if work is 95% of our day and self-care is only 5%, when we can move that needle to at least a 1090, then a 1585, etc., boosting our self-care will benefit what we do on the other side, and vice versa. So it yeah, it's almost like the benefits of uh I'll even say 50-50, making it a a purely kind of example of a work-life balance, even though it doesn't have to be the perfect split. But just as an example, the benefits of that are much greater for both sides than when you have a 90-10, 70-30. It of course a lot.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely. It does. It lets the physical activity let releases the tension, whatever tension is built up in our in our bodies, so that we can be more at ease and our battery can run on a higher charge. Um, yeah, I feel mental self-care as well.
SPEAKER_04:I know. Uh okay, I don't know if you're just about to do that.
SPEAKER_00:That's what I was just gonna say. Actually, I was feeling that same um experience, but in relationships with people, right? And when I'm tired and irritated or frustrated, I find myself short and snippy and um you know, giving not nice answers to people around me. And then I'm thinking about it, I can still just say the nice thing or something nice so that everybody doesn't have to feel the grit in the air of my frustrations. And then I feel more at ease and less tension. So it can come through in many ways, just the way we talk to people, the things we say, can impact the way that we feel.
SPEAKER_04:You you know, it's funny you say that because I've encountered the snippiness, not on my part, but on the part of others. And what's equally as important is when we ourselves, like you just shared, you know, I I felt felt myself become a little snippy and I realized it or was aware of it and needed to kind of back down a little bit and not let that become a negative in my conversations, communications, whatever. And I'm thinking, you know what? The same could be said on the other side of the fence, meaning I'm encountering a coworker who's got some snippiness. I'm like, something's going on here. I'm just going to sit back, let the person vent, do whatever, whatever. And you know what? As I found out a few days later, that person's significant other was going through some medical challenges.
SPEAKER_00:So there's always something, and we have to remember.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, we have to remember that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's not about us. Like I that's something that has been pointed out to me um initially years ago, but often, in that usually it's not about you, right? Or it's not about me, whatever the response from this person is. It is something that they're going through. And it would be so much kinder if we could be open to others no matter what, because of we don't know what they're going through.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and not respond in a way that makes it worse. We oftentimes we use the road rage kind of example only because for those of you who have been with us for years, you may know that Kevin has shared many a road rage experience where in his I'll call it past life, has responded to road rage with road rage. And of course, that just makes it worse. And it seems like it's the easiest thing to do, the quickest thing to do. And the thing that probably is at the top of the list as far as a response, because we're like, that motherfucker, you know, I'm gonna show him or her. Yeah. And it's well, they're the whatever they're doing, if they're speeding and cutting you off, maybe they're on their way to a medical emergency, maybe they're whatever the case may be. I make it a point to now try to make that uh part of my own emotional response, meaning, uh oh, there could be a reason. Let me let me not let that emotional response take over. And um, but it any situation.
SPEAKER_00:Right then about letting those six seconds come in, right? If we actually took a moment right now and silently counted to six. That's a long time to think about a response and the way that we act to something and whether we get snippy or we um do a kind thing. Like, where does the empathy come out? And how can we feel more optimistic? And who do we want to trust? I love that.
SPEAKER_04:That's perfect. Just take that six seconds, breathe. You know, even with the road rage example at that point, the person's probably so far down the highway or road or whatever that at that point.
SPEAKER_00:That dumbass probably right, exactly, and may experience karma.
SPEAKER_04:They may have gotten stopped by a cop or whatever. Had we been, you know, riding along with them trying to chase them off the road. We may have gotten stopped by a cop. So that I love that, Nancy. That's perfect.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, counts as hard to do though. It's hard to do though. And when we were counting, Lou saw me using my fingers. And I'll tell you, I do this sometimes um because I tend to interrupt people is is Lou's polity feeling. I get I get excited in conversation and I'm always like over talking people. And so I often have to let myself hold before responding. And when asking questions, I'll tend to stack questions, which is terrible. So I have to just zip my lips and then I count because they say it ultimately the average person takes, you know, like nine seconds. We need to give people a chance to think for themselves too and have a minute to reply. And I will get up to nine on my fingers when I'm waiting for an answer. So they're like, zip it and pause. It's hard, it's a hard habit.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you know, I grew up in an environment where that was the norm. The interrupting, the I want to get my point across. I'm sure everyone probably has at least one family member in that in that situation. But I, of course, thought that was normal as a kid, you don't know otherwise, and made that my normal. Then I'm out there in the world, experience other people going, damn, you know, this isn't so normal or not considerate behavior and had to adapt. And of course, whenever I am around family, and now, as we all know, whenever I have my family stories, those are always colorful. But um, I sit there and I'm like, you know what? Y'all can just talk and bark and and rant and whatever you want to do, I'll just sit here, fold my arms, and be entertained. I don't need to get my point across.
SPEAKER_00:And yeah, stepping back, it's it's easier. It's it's not easier, but it is it, but it brings ease, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_04:We know what's interesting too. It oftentimes, and I've noticed this when I've when I started doing it, it brings about confusion on the part of the other parties. Like, well, they expect you to behave the same way, interrupt or do whatever, and it's a little confusing when you don't. And then they're like, Did you hear me? Yeah, what's the matter? Did you hear me? I heard you.
SPEAKER_00:I heard you know, um, I had an experiment I did with someone a few years ago that in a group I was working with, and um this one gal carried a lot of tension because her mother judged everything she said and did, and was just making her she just her whole body was a knot with anger and frustration. And the experiment was to just whatever mom said, whatever, just say thank you. Thank you. You know, you want to say fuck you, but thank you. And and you know, she looked at me like I was crazy and cross-eyed, and that she couldn't do it, but she tried it and and it took weeks to become more at ease and more natural. And she noticed like what you're saying, that her mom's expressions and responses were different because it was surprising to her, and then she was less verbal or combative because she wasn't getting any response, and she didn't have an intention of being mean, I don't think, but it was just her way as well. So, in a way, us we're getting we're supporting others by supporting ourselves.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04:That's an interesting example. I recall several an episode where I had that same experience with my own mom. And in particular, the aspect of like you shared, like being judgmental on every aspect of your life. And the point being made that, well, I'm just giving you advice. You know, as a parent, I'm giving you advice. I'm like, I understand that. It doesn't mean I need to take it. I heard it. Thank you. And I think with each encounter and the not taking that particular advice, there was, I could see frustration. Not that I want to frustrate my mom or anything like that, but trying to just make the point that I appreciate what you're sharing, I'll, you know, list it along with all the other pieces of advice you give me. And and I, and it's up to me, really, of course, as an adult, whether or not I want to take that advice. And if I don't, you can't get fucking pissed about it. It's just that that's how it is. But approaching it like that, like thank you, and and I I saw that same behavior on her part.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? It's ironic. And I think what what like I have a live experience with the person whose response is always to tell me what they would do or how it should be done. And you're like, okay, but I would love it if someone would just ask me a question, you know, instead of a question. Yeah, it's so it's like, what are you thinking about? It makes me wonder what do you think my capabilities are? What do you think my knowledge is? Like every time you just tell me how it could or should have been done, is like it makes me not want to talk to that person at all. So I try to ask more questions too.
SPEAKER_04:And that's where when we encounter someone like that, great advice. One, two, three, four, five, six.
SPEAKER_00:If you still want to say, you asshole, say it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah. Certainly, if that is still the the best response, perhaps it it is okay to respond that way, but interesting how I respond. Might change just taking uh six seconds to think about it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so it takes us back to our six seconds of so where do we find empathy when our batteries are low? How do we how do we make space for optimism versus doubt?
SPEAKER_04:You know, good question. Wow. It almost does feel like we if we have nothing left in our battery at all, or very little left, how can we have anything kind of bubble to the surface or or use what remaining energy we have left on anything, whether it's positive or negative, say? I mean, certainly thinking about the positive side makes sense. Probably also makes sense to think that by saying well or by doing something empathetic, considerate, kind, kind word, whatever the case may be, that in and of itself, while it may use the remaining energy we have left in our battery, probably is a type of recharging.
SPEAKER_00:You're so right. I think that's true. And like what you're talking about is setting your intentions for something different, and that's what came to mind for me. If I set my intentions to just shift my direction, and and I've always told people, you don't have to make a 360, you know, even a 90-degree shift. If you just go from 12 to one o'clock, you've adjusted your path. And so you're moving in a different direction. And what you see around you and what you feel around you is different, and that can be enough to get started. So tell me like your intentions thinking about um your coaching practice. Tell people the name of your coaching practice and what what brought you to that name.
SPEAKER_04:Uh, Rewire, Relive is the name of my coaching practice. It was something I developed many, many years ago as you and I were working together with Kevin as well and with other people as as in the in the personal development space, as the name implies, all about using an element of neuroscience and brain science, which is the same thing, but I'm just using two different words there.
SPEAKER_00:Well, the mind and the brain are different. That's what's weird, too. So, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:To uh rewire our brains using uh you know some of the elements of neuroplasticity, things like that, to recharge our lives. I mean, uh, you know, I don't uh I you I'm using the phrase relive, if you will, but it really is about when we think about things differently, when we narrow those negative neural pathways and create, if not expand, the positive neural pathways. And I'm kind of using the word negative and positive really just to meant creating new ones that bring about a positive experience, how that really brings about a marked change in our in our the path we're on in our own life journey.
SPEAKER_00:So true. And just reinforcing that you can create new neural pathways. And this analogy I've used before, but um it's like a path into the woods. And there may be this path that you've always walked in the woods, and all many people have used it, and it's very clear and you know exactly where to go. But if no one travels it for a long time, plants and earth, you know, all grow over it and it becomes less visible and less easy to travel. So you don't just gravitate towards it automatically, you take the new one. And when you work on taking a new one repeatedly, it becomes the clear one and the more accessible one and easier to travel. So you can you can make a new narrow pathway.
SPEAKER_04:And if you realize that the path you had traditionally taken is a longer path from point A to point B and like, well, damn, here's a shorter one, a better one, a more positive one. I should start creating that new one and let those weeds grow over the old one. Yeah. I don't want to say struggle or challenge because those aren't really the right words, but it's an opportunity. And challenge actually isn't such a bad word. It can, it can also be used as a bit of a like in sports or whatnot, the challenge of of winning the race, you know, if you will. But it is a daily activity that is a good one, is always thinking about being aware of and taking the six seconds we need, or otherwise just being aware of how we can you know create more of those positive neural pathways and yeah, set your intentions for the intentions that you want to be going.
SPEAKER_00:Habit habit kicks in subconsciously and takes us into routines that sometimes we're not even aware of. So interrupting the cycle, I guess, is the challenge that we have. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, excellent. Because as much as structure and routine it can be a good thing, it can also be a bad thing when it leads to our not challenging ourselves every day or not growing, not learning is just kind of set in our ways.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I noticed there is a particular website associated with this tool that you shared.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Sick sick sicsec.org with six being the number six, not spelled S-I-X, but the number six, S E C dotorg, is the website for this particular app, article, tool, like everything associated with this emotional intelligence network.
SPEAKER_00:And I think people should check it out. I think I find I um I find this stuff fascinating. Um in all directions. Yeah, definitely geeky. But and what the other thing that they they talk about in their brief little introduction of this is when our energy, if my energy is negative, people are gonna feel that. And if my energy is positive, hopefully they're gonna feel that, right? And so we not only can help ourselves, but we can change the space around us and influence the space around us. We maybe can't change it, but we can certainly influence it. So it's worth taking the time to make it.
SPEAKER_04:What I really like about if you go to the website for those of you who um will do so, you will encounter what looks like the building of a worldwide community, not a targeted, you know, only for certain groups sort of thing. I mean, anything that's of an emotional intelligence level really should could could apply to everyone, and yeah, you might argue should, but it's it is about bringing about positive change on a global basis, uh, which is fascinating, interesting, and and we can all be a part of it. And we can all be a part of it, yes. It's like that's you know, as much as there are different communities for different things, this is one of a handful, I guess, that are it really truly can be for anybody.
SPEAKER_00:Beautiful. So I guess for today, what Lou and I are saying is take a moment to set your intentions for your um, well, check your batteries. Where are they? And what what are they low or not? And what do you need? And what would help fuel you, your mind, your heart, your soul, and charge those so that you can support those around you and make it a make it the best possible day you can.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, best possible day, best possible week, best possible month, best possible life awareness, actually keeping key ingredient for the whole thing. Awesome. Thank you, Nancy, for sharing with me, with our audience this incredibly important topic. We hope that our listeners out there will go check out sixsec.org to learn more about this. We are very happy that you joined us for today. We look forward to you joining us on our next episode. Bye for now.