Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Our minds are like houses. When they're new, they're empty. As we live our lives we acquire treasures that eventually turn into shit that creates clutter. Some of this stuff is useful, while some of it is simply junk which just creates obstacles for us. What if we could eliminate the nonsense we don't need, and create more room for useful things? Join us on this podcast where we discuss removing what we don't need, implementing beneficial changes to our minds, bodies and souls, to create a life of abundance and fulfillment.
Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Ep. 105 - The Independence Day Dilemma: Finding Your Perfect Balance Between Celebration and Solitude
Have you ever felt guilty about wanting to skip a holiday parade? Our conversation digs into the unspoken expectations around celebrations like July 4th and why choosing your own path is not just acceptable—it's essential for genuine happiness.
The team explores how our relationship with holidays evolves throughout our lives. For some, the perfect celebration might be a quiet day at home with a beer, while others crave the energy of crowds and community events. We unpack why these preferences shift based on our life circumstances, energy levels, and personal needs, not just our age. You'll hear personal stories about college reunions, changing family traditions, and the sometimes complicated emotions holidays can trigger.
After the isolation of COVID, we've all had to reconsider our social connections in new ways. Some discovered they thrived in solitude while others felt desperate for community—and holidays now amplify these differences. The episode touches on safety concerns at public gatherings but reminds listeners that community experiences, even brief ones, provide valuable energy and perspective. The most powerful takeaway? Breaking free from monotony keeps us vibrant regardless of chronological age. We're not "over the hill" unless we stop growing and trying new things.
So whether you're planning an elaborate celebration or looking forward to a quiet weekend, this episode gives you permission to honor your authentic needs without judgment. As you listen, consider what would truly make this holiday meaningful for you, and remember that the perfect balance of solitude and connection might look different for everyone—and that's exactly as it should be.
Hello and welcome to Clean your Fucking House, bitch, with Nancy, kevin and Lou. In our program we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up? We'll show you how. Get ready to clean your fucking house. Happy day before 4th of July, folks, welcome. Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 1:Whenever you're listening to us, it may be the day after the holiday or some days after the holiday, who knows, we have so many followers and listeners.
Speaker 1:But in any event, we, nancy, kevin and I are sitting here thinking about the holiday, july 4th, and holidays in general Because, as is the case with each of us and our own experiences, and maybe the case with you, there's oftentimes a lead up to a holiday the excitement, the anticipation, the what's going on parades and festivities and family barbecues and whatnot and we're thinking. You know it doesn't necessarily have to be all that. I mean it could be. You know it's always great to be around people, but you know what, it's okay to not have to be part of all that revelry. I was sharing how. You know what I'm okay with just chilling at home with a beer, watching TV and, you know, taking a break from the world, because my every day is being around everyone and doing stuff and being out there and I look forward to holidays as a time of actually having a little bit of me time, some alone time, and so that's kind of my thoughts.
Speaker 2:Sounds like you're approaching it with introspection.
Speaker 1:Perhaps, perhaps and I thought you know what this is a great topic to talk about, because certainly we all are, at different parts in our lives, journeys which may just mean you know what. There are some times in our lives when we love being out there in the crowd during the holidays, other times when we don't. But is that necessarily age related or just who we are, who?
Speaker 2:knows, are you feeling some type of way, lou? It could be.
Speaker 3:I think it could be age-related, but I think it's back to more what you said about being where you are in life, and I know some people who sounded more like you in the past years who have said no, I want nothing to do with it, I'm staying home, I don't want to be around crowds, I don't want to be in traffic. Nothing sounded appealing about going and entering the world, and this year you know there's this, let's check it out. Where do you think there's some fireworks shows, what could be interesting when to go, and so I think it's where your life is at.
Speaker 1:It's funny that in this post COVID world there's a lot more discussion and people sharing experiences about how that has impacted their social connections and that whole aspect of just getting out there. Like you hear from some crowds about, oh, I was forced to be at home and I love it and others, like I was forced to be at home and I'm dying. It's just kind of amazing how it is. It's just brought that conversation to the forefront and how everyone differs.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There is no. Things must go a certain way, you know.
Speaker 3:For sure. But I think there's another element, and not to bring a heavy weight to the conversation, but I heard talk yesterday around the idea of going out and how people were hesitating into larger metropolitan areas like I'm near San Francisco because of what happened in New Orleans at New Year's, and so people are thinking, hmm, do I want to go out? Where would I go, where wouldn't I go? What could be OK and what would I avoid?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good point. There's also other elements of safety security now with being in certain areas, which is a shame, you know. Hopefully that kind of just to me brings up the aspect of we shouldn't stop living our lives and still getting out there and doing stuff because of that.
Speaker 2:But that's where I was going to go with it. But then I also thought that the holidays, just in general, like culturally, are big right, like they're emotionally charged in some way, shape or form, I think, for most people right, and sometimes that can be good or it could be negative, you know, um, sometimes things happen in life. We might associate these days with things that happen at specific points of time in our lives. Um, so I think, just the idea of being mindful and, you know, maybe trying to tune in and what feels right for you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, back to being retrospective and being okay with it.
Speaker 1:Don't feel pressure yeah, especially the whole idea of traditions. You know that word is also tossed around a lot and I have to admit there are some times I'm like, oh, I really miss the family gatherings I had years ago. Granted it, some of those family members are just no longer with us. But I don't want to say it this way because now it just reminds me of the way old people talk. But back in my day, back in my day, you know that my family, just we all grew up and lived in the same area. So that opportunity to have a backyard cookout or a Christmas party where there were hundreds of people there was just feasible because everyone was there. Now, people kind of spread out, just feasible because everyone was there. Yeah, people kind of spread out. You know it was a lot.
Speaker 2:That kind of makes me feel like go live it up, make those memories right Create them.
Speaker 3:But I think that comes back to where you are in life and if you have enough family around you or you have children or you have, you know, things that you want to create memories in life, you're going to make time to do it. And if you're fine with the memories you have and don't need something new, you're going to hang home.
Speaker 1:You know it's funny, kevin, you mentioned I forgot how exactly you phrased it. It's like go this year marked a milestone for myself, age-wise, and I have stayed in contact with friends from both high school and college. But a certain group of my core college group, they said, oh, we should celebrate and do something. Now, this is a group of people that right now, not long after we all graduated from college and kind of went our own ways and again getting back to the back in my day thing, we all stayed and lived in the same area where we, where we graduated from, which is Massachusetts, the same area where we graduated from, which is Massachusetts. People just set roots, started their families and we continued to get together. We had parties, we had little cookouts, we played volleyball. We just did all these things together as a group.
Speaker 1:It was like our little college gang, probably about 20 of us, and that went on for many years I'm going to say about 10 before all of a sudden then, uh-oh, some of them relocated to other states. They started families, of course, but even when some of them had families before that, you know, they would just bring their kids to the cookouts. That's just how it goes. Long story short is, all of a sudden, little by little, folks started moving away, getting their own things going on, such that we had less and less of those events.
Speaker 1:When I got a call or a text through Facebook whatever the case may be about, hey, let's do something this year, that immediately came to my mind let's have a reunion of our group, have where we all get together Hell, it can even be where we rent out a venue. Now we're not poor like we were when we just graduated. We can rent a venue. We don't have to have someone's backyard. But it was all about getting together again and just, you know, maybe a little bit of reliving that, those old days again, but it was really just. I'd like to see everyone.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't even know your friends or family.
Speaker 3:But it sounds fun to me. But I think it should be in the backyard, not at a venue I agree, and that's what I was kind of going for.
Speaker 1:Of course I was like, okay, who's still living back there that has a backyard we can use? But long story short is, there was a little piece of that group that loved the idea and another little piece that's like no, let's all go on a cruise to italy, or oh gosh, I hope they're not listening because they're going to think I'm raining on their Italy cruise but let's go on a cruise to Italy, or a trip to Hawaii or a trip to who knows where, and God bless them. I love my friends and I love this group in particular. I'm like that's not what I kind of was hoping for, looking forward to just a simple little gathering. I'll fly back to Massachusetts, spend time with the group for a couple of days. It doesn't have to be, you know, just a one day thing. But they all wanted to do something.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say a lot more expensive, not just a little bit more expensive. You know, a week long cruise or any kind of long trip can be pricey. Long story short, which I think I've already said, so not to repeat myself but is that not everyone could afford that? You know, everyone, as I shared is off in their own life's journey, but not everyone can afford that, so of course, not everyone was able to participate. I'm like just trying to make it simple, and to me, you know, that's what life was really about is it doesn't have to be big parades and big festivities and big things. You know, everyone bring a little dish of the cookout and just get together and have fun and both sound amazing.
Speaker 3:I just feeling both of those truly because, like you made me think of Thanksgiving with your story. We're just here facing the Fourth of July weekend, but at Thanksgiving it's become such a thing thing and not everybody mixes and it can be complicated. It's a lot of cooking and then the food's done in 20 minutes and you're like I spent two days cooking and you slopped it down in 20 minutes. What do we do? Like what you know, it just becomes something that doesn't always feel enjoyable. Then I have said I'm going to Hawaii for Thanksgiving this year. Like, watch out and sometimes maybe just to totally change it gives you the relief from the whatever that comes with it.
Speaker 1:But it sounded like your trip to Hawaii was to get away from them, not to enjoy it. Get go there with them.
Speaker 3:If they can join, they can join me there, but we're not doing that same old routine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a good point well, I feel like we have some things to unpack with your age. I mentioned it a few times now. Do you want to talk about it?
Speaker 1:no, not. Well, you know what? That's probably a whole episode for another time. Because, uh, there are days where I'm like, okay, I see the I'm not gonna, I'm gonna phrase it this way, but don't take it this way. You know, the I'm closer to the end than I am to the beginning.
Speaker 2:Let's put it that way Just in terms of Nancy did not like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and that's your problem. You are young Like get over I know I mean.
Speaker 1:Well, and that's what I'm trying to convey is there's days when I'm like, what the fuck am I thinking I still got plenty of good years to go when I'm going to do this, I'm going to, and other days I'm like, oh, my back and my knee.
Speaker 1:I just wanted, I guess where I'm going is. That's all part of life as well, and it's important that again probably for a whole nother episode is we always should keep the positive side of you know what? I've had a great life, and I still get many more great years to go, and never think that we're on the other side of that hill. I don't agree with that. What is it called? Over the hill is the cliche. I have since come to the realization, at least for me. My opinion is that that is a myth. There's no such thing as over the hill.
Speaker 2:I think if you stop, if you stop trying to achieve things, maybe then you're over the hill. I think if you stop, if you stop trying to achieve things, maybe then you're over the hill. Oh, you stop growing, you know. You age faster.
Speaker 1:Things get monotonous, reactionary that's a perfect way to describe it, because that, literally, is where I feel sometimes like, and probably when I feel like, that is on those days where I'm like oh, here we go again, wake up at this time, do this at that time, go to and do you know, it's all like routine and monotony, monotonized. Is that a word?
Speaker 2:perfect, uh, perfect time to change up your routine a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is, yeah, infusing a little bit. Yes, it is, yeah, infusing a little bit of something different in life, maybe go to a July 4th parade. Look at this, I'm changing my own mind.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 1:See, I was going to say what is on your list and, like the three days that are in front of you, I don't know if you have any extra time offers just Friday, saturday, sunday just Friday, saturday, sunday, I actually don't know what the hell is going on here in the city of Chicago, where, for those listeners out there who don't know, this is where I live I'm sure there's gonna be fireworks one of these nights, so I'll definitely catch that. As far as anything else and not that I actually don't mind being out there around crowds, and most of the time I actually enjoy it. You know I may sound sometimes like oh, I don't want to be around the crowds, but I think it's great to get out there. It, it, it. I think for anybody it it helps lift spirits and, and you know, cause it is something that's not part of our routine, so it is like.
Speaker 3:Oh, wow, this is, you know, great to be able to get out there and do something a little different. So maybe I'll go out there and check it out. I was just talking with somebody about that this week, about it isn't even always a pleasant experience when you're out in public or in community. Sometimes it's more than you want or there's something difficult that happens, but you still get some sort of positive energy about being out there. When you come back to wherever your safe space is, it's like, ok, yeah, whatever that gave you, and you're either grateful to be out of it or glad you were in it. Whatever all that is, it does give back something being in community.
Speaker 1:And Kevin will know this very well. Here in the Chicago area, st Patrick's Day is a big deal. They buy the River Green as the US, they have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've never lived in an area or visited an area, though, where it was as much of a big deal as it is here, you know, with just everything going on dressed in green, and I'm not just talking shirts and socks, I'm talking they'll put on leprechaun outfits and you know, costumes and stuff, and yeah, and it's actually. I can just stand there on a street corner and watch people walking around, most of them drunk but still walking around having a good time and with all their green outfits, and it's just entertaining just to watch all that.
Speaker 3:Right when we talk next, make note because you need to share what you appreciated in public over this long weekend. Whatever you end up doing, I'll be curious to hear Okay On what you thought.
Speaker 1:And the weather's nice, so definitely no reason to not get out there. At least, I don't think there's any rain in the forecast, or anything, you're definitely talking yourself into doing something. Well, the fact that I'm in most of the week I'm clamoring to get out and, of course, with a three-day weekend or any weekend, that's the optimal time to do it.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, if you all could have heard Lou before we turned the recording on.
Speaker 2:I'm not doing anything.
Speaker 3:Bullshit.
Speaker 1:Well, you know what it is. I think it's one of those things that I can go out there, I can walk around, I can do it, and when I've had enough I come back. There you go. It's almost like the best of both. I don't know. You know, when you're a kid and you're dragged along to things, you don't have that kind of control. You're stuck where you're at the whole time and even when you want to leave or whatever, you can't. You know, as an adult, if I'm out there 10 minutes, I can come back. I doesn't have to be a whole day.
Speaker 3:I have a question then. Oh sorry, kevin, but does it? Maybe what makes it easier to consider now, after talking with us for a little bit, is that you separated your work brain from your other life brain and kind of was able to put work aside and you're like, yeah, like you could see it and feel it now, whereas in work mode you just couldn't.
Speaker 1:I think you're. You definitely hit the nail on the head. Nail on the head I share for the, for context, for our listeners out there. I shared with Kevin and Nancy before we started our recording today that I was still working, still working, still working, pretty much working up to the last minute.
Speaker 1:And I think when you are in work mode, you're in work mode. Nothing else is really on your mind, because you're thinking about things and this and that, trying to get projects done and deadlines and all that planning and it. It's hard to flip to a different mindset, even momentarily, and then get back to work. It's like you know what I gotta stay in work mode until I'm really done for the day and then switch it off. So you don't really think about, for me anyway, okay, how I'm going to spend my weekend, what I'm going to do, how enjoyable it's going to be. You're really again, your mind is stuck in work mode. Now that it's my day is effectively over, I do feel the more we all talk, the more we you know we're here that I'm finally coming out of work mode and going into play mode.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what's on deck at your, at your house, kevin?
Speaker 2:uh, fireworks tonight, tonight okay yeah, friend's house tomorrow, then date night saturday now fireworks.
Speaker 1:Are you watching them or making them okay? Making them well, I was gonna say you know, you hear stories of people who set them off in their own backyards or on the streets and just over here, making my own fireworks well, I was gonna say please be careful, you know I hate those stories somebody loses a hand or something, it's just uh no, he's going to a show he's nice yeah, okay about you, nancy.
Speaker 3:It's a hiking weekend Hike tomorrow morning, a hike Saturday and Sunday's determined right now, Fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, and that's what the holidays are about. It's about getting out there and doing things. And listen to me, yeah, Nancy and Kevin are both looking at me like what the fuck Lou? You were just talking about chilling and doing nothing and all of a sudden you're out there. I'm going to do both. I'm going to get out there and you need yourself permission to think about it, right?
Speaker 3:So?
Speaker 1:Like, take a moment.
Speaker 2:Give yourself, yep.
Speaker 3:Self-reflect, give yourself permission to do what feels right.
Speaker 1:Be retrospective, that's what we heard at the beginning. So do a little here, a little there, and you know what everyone's uh got their desire to do, what they want to do. So that's really what it's about, but I hope that you, our listeners found this conversation to be entertaining. I think this is probably one of the ones that was less educational in nature, a little bit more entertaining, but you know what. That's good too, to mix it up, and we hope you join us for our next episode. Always enjoy you being part of our family and hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend. Bye for now.