Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Our minds are like houses. When they're new, they're empty. As we live our lives we acquire treasures that eventually turn into shit that creates clutter. Some of this stuff is useful, while some of it is simply junk which just creates obstacles for us. What if we could eliminate the nonsense we don't need, and create more room for useful things? Join us on this podcast where we discuss removing what we don't need, implementing beneficial changes to our minds, bodies and souls, to create a life of abundance and fulfillment.
Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Ep. 101 - The Wayfinder's Guide to Spiritual Alignment
What happens when the path to your true self is blocked by years of accumulated mental clutter? How do you reconnect with the deeper wisdom that knows exactly what you need?
Meet Colby Wilk, a gifted intuitive wayfinder who sees what's hiding in your blind spots. In this profound conversation, Colby reveals why so many of us struggle to find true well-being despite all our spiritual seeking and self-improvement efforts. The answer isn't about adding more knowledge or techniques—it's about subtracting the barriers between us and our authentic selves.
Whether you're seeking clarity on your life's purpose, struggling with acceptance, or simply curious about developing your intuitive abilities, this episode offers profound insights on cleaning your mental house and reconnecting with your soul's guidance. Ready to discover what stands between you and your authentic life? Listen now and begin your journey home to yourself.
For more information on Colby, you can find him on Colbywilk.com.
Hello and welcome to Clean your Fucking House Bitch with Nancy, kevin and Lou. In our program we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up?
Speaker 2:We'll show you how. Get ready to clean your fucking house with us tonight. Kobe Wilk and we were just kind of chatting before we started recording Not like we've been doing, nancy, where we kind of just get started but we were having a conversation and things just kept on developing and Kobe is super interesting. We feel like he really aligns with what we talk about in each and every episode and kind of what we aspire to help others with. So, kobe, welcome. Hello. For any of our listeners who are unfamiliar with you, why don't you fill them in on a little bit about yourself, what it is you do? Sure, anything you find interesting about yourself you think our listeners would want to know, you know that's very interesting.
Speaker 3:One of my teachers would say what you find what you most want to change about yourself is what other people find the most interesting. I think is really interesting. So I work as a wayfinder. I help people find their way to who they really are and to the life that's been calling them. In my experience. There's a life calling all of us, but we are resisting it anxiety, depression, phobia, even physical problems.
Speaker 3:Most of my people have read self-development books, been to therapy, been to shamans and gurus, yet true well-being eludes them. Why is that? True well-being eludes them? Because it requires something deeper than applying someone else's answers to yourself. In order to attain or touch or enter into the flow of well-being, you have to reconcile with who you are, who you really are. So I have an intuitive gift that I'm able to spot what's in someone's blind spot, causing them suffering where they've denied themselves, abandoned themselves, and by me bringing someone's attention to what they've been unaware of, that resolves rather quickly and I help people to reconcile with who they really are, with who they really are, so that they could sync with their soul.
Speaker 4:Oh sorry, I've already got questions. Keep going.
Speaker 3:And when you sync with your soul, you know what your soul and what I mean by soul, the larger, wiser part of you, what it wants for you, and a soul is not puppeting you. Your soul is taking your desires and trying to fulfill them. When you know what your soul is trying to lead you to, then you know what to do in any given time. Nancy, lady in the front row, you have a question?
Speaker 4:I'm just so curious where this, where this started for you? What was the aha moment that? Where did you become aware of this gift, this ability, this intuition?
Speaker 3:well, like like many of you, like you and like you, kevin, I am a natural empath right. So I came in rather open. I was raised by a rather dysfunctional lovely family. But in order to know if it was safe to go downstairs, I would kind of project myself and sense, ok, how's the mood down there before I would go down. And that developed into greater and greater capacities for empathy, my ability to sense what another feels. And then, you know, I became interested in spirituality and sat at the feet of many gurus and shaman and prayed and gifts, just kind of opened, opened and opened and opened and opened. And here I am. So I wasn't born being able to see dead people. So who, which is like, if you, if you, if what my gift is appeals to you, you could have something very similar. You just gotta put some attention to it very easy.
Speaker 4:There's so much truth in that that listening listening to your inner self, but also awareness to what's happening around you.
Speaker 3:Right. The challenge with empathy is that, as empaths, we're geared to be more aware of the other than we are of ourselves, more aware of the other than we are of ourselves. So empaths struggle with what do I want, what do I feel? I know what you want, I know what you feel, what do I want and what I feel. So a journey for me has been oh, I'm only okay if you're okay. Right, that's a journey. Journey for me knowing I'm OK even if you're not OK. Empaths need to learn how to connect with what is above and below them, their line, their tube, and so to use that gift to connect with the larger part of them, as opposed to connect with another.
Speaker 2:Wow, I have a selfish question.
Speaker 3:Selfish question Go.
Speaker 2:So just on my journey, I went through stages and it started with kind of questioning everything and, you know, having the emotional fallout that comes with being an empath right, not knowing how to control it. Then I went inward, but to such an extreme that, like I sacrificed a lot of my interpersonal relationships with people because I went, like I was just so focused on me because I hadn't been for so many years of my life. Right, I feel like I've found a pretty decent balance now but for any of our listeners who are kind of like in one of those stages or the other, like you mentioned balance before we started recording so I would imagine that there's a balance that you can find between the self-care part but then also being able to utilize your gifts to help those around you, right? So do you have any insight or feedback into how you can develop the balance portion where you don't have to completely turn away from the external world and others around you but not allow things to negatively impact you to a detriment?
Speaker 3:Wow, there's a lot you got in there. All right, a lot there. Let's try to unpack it.
Speaker 3:Empaths, as I kind of stated, are more interested in others, in some respects as a defense strategy. In some respects, as a defense strategy, if you're happy, then maybe you. If I take care of you, then maybe, just maybe, you will take care of me. If I consider you, then maybe, just maybe, you will consider me and empaths soon realize that doesn't work and they get resentful because we do not live in Mr Rogers' neighborhood where people are happy and kind, and that's not where we live.
Speaker 3:So the challenge with pulling back as an empath, pulling your jelly bean, the energy around you back, is not getting resentful and keeping your heart open. Empaths traditionally as you do, kevin have a very large third eye right and it's very front loaded. It's very heavy, but their hearts are generally not open. So they experience love from here, but not from here, and they get resentful, but not from here and they get resentful. Now, if I feel, as an empath, I need to pull back from people because I need to learn to pay more attention to myself. There's a place where we all need to go sit in a cave, metaphorically sit in a cave and be with ourselves and find ourselves interesting. There's a place for that, and there's also times where people and paths pull back because they're resentful, because people don't love them the way they want to be loved. So you got to pull those things apart. What's true? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:It does. It's so funny that you said that, because when I started trying to like finding the balance was literally when I started doing more like finding the balance was literally when I started doing more work on my heart chakra, like really intentionally trying to open it up, and that I feel like is the catalyst to finding the balance for myself. That's pretty spot on very awesome.
Speaker 3:Empaths tend to love in a non-personal way. But personal love tends to frighten empaths because the ways in they develop the skill. Some of us most of us is because we weren't safe as young people. So, like your mom or dad or whoever is there, is supposed to look at you and just like, think you're a treasure, like, oh, thank goodness you're here.
Speaker 3:Empaths generally didn't get that. Their mom looked at them or dad or whoever, maybe for a few moments, and then got distracted. And the infant. You said wait, where'd you go? Where'd you go? See, I'm smiling, I'm cute, and maybe mom or dad came back and you as a child was like yay, and then they went away again and they didn't come back as quick and so then you went to them and started to take care of them and then it became about them. Meanwhile you're like on some level you're like when's it going to be about me? Wait a minute, I don't trust it to be about me, but I want it to be about a minute. I don't trust it to be about me, but I want it to be about me, but I don't trust it to be about me. So I want love, I push love away. I want love, I push love away.
Speaker 3:So an empath's healing journey generally is how, since I don't trust other people's love because it comes with obligation and other BS, then I need to practice loving me. Can I share one practice that I do with clients? No, yeah, the one thing that I have people do and I usually call it baby in a blanket. But I have a pillow here and I have people create a blanket with a little baby. You know, they imagine their little face in their little blanket and they're holding themselves at whatever age they think they're called to do so. They grab their little baby. Why don't we all do it? Is that okay? I?
Speaker 3:was debating what age I want to grab myself up whatever occurs to you, whatever a blanket, a towel I call this towel yeah, yeah, yeah. So you imagine yourself, the little face. You've seen pictures of yourself, I'm sure. So you imagine yourself at whatever age. Just pick one age and stick with it and you see your little self and you say, oh, from here, from your heart, whatever comes, so I'll demonstrate. I love you. I'm so glad you're here. Little Colby, you're a treasure. You are wanted. Oh, my God, I'm so blessed. Thank you, you are wanted. Wow, what a gift. Okay, so I do that right Now.
Speaker 3:I put down the baby in the blanket and now I become that which I held, I become the being that I held, and then I receive. I intend to receive that love. I intend to receive that love because that love I can trust, because it came from me. So why don't you guys do it? So have your baby, see yourself and from your heart, you could say if you're open to it or you can, just because babies do energy more than anything else. I think right, and you just love that baby. I love you. So blessed, you're a treasure. Look how adorable you are. I didn't think you were going to be. Oh, my, my God, you are just wow, wow. Then you put down the baby in a loving way, then you sit back from Kevin's back and you allow that love in. You Close your eyes and just intend to allow that which was given to you, to allow it in.
Speaker 3:Ah and that is one way to repair the damage. Fill yourself up with you with your love, and then, once you get used to receiving your love, then you're more apt to receive the other. How was that for you two?
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay yeah, no, I like.
Speaker 4:I like the idea of kind of filling your own cup I agree and I'm totally on board with that, what I can't help but feel like I'm connecting to right now. And I wasn't this kind of a mother, but I know lots of people who are, it's more getting lost not in yourself and who you are from what you grew up from which happens to many, for sure. But I see a lot of moms who lose their way of who they are in the world because they've given to the kids and the family and then all of a sudden they don't know how to back out and see who they are and how to live in the world, because I have to be mom and I have to be house cleaner and I have to be you know, whatever all the other things. And so I see it from a, I feel it and see it from a little different perspective, but I think the concept is the same and applies right.
Speaker 3:So why do moms do that? Why do moms lose themselves?
Speaker 4:I think I it's just my thoughts. I mean, everyone has different reasons, right, but I think they get caught in one. We weren't taught self-care my generation for sure not. So I'm hoping that I'm passing on to my child something different, but that we weren't taught that. It's okay that we need that old adage of the micro. We need the oxygen mask on ourselves to be healthy and whole, so that we can be there for others and do things with others in a way that's meaningful. And so people lose sight and then they feel like I'm good if I do this for my kids and if I do this for my spouse and I do this for the house, but not good if I just sit down and read a book for 30 minutes.
Speaker 3:But not good if I just sit down and read a book for 30 minutes, so my interpretation is a mom who loses themselves. Never had definition before.
Speaker 3:Maybe, and now she has definition, because she now defines herself as a mom and anything that threatens that status. Pulling back, allowing them to grow up is scary because that means wait a minute. If I give up that definition or change it, then who am I? So I'm going to hold on and clutch. It's like a man who gets to 50, 60, who's afraid to retire because I'm so used to being that title. How do I let go being that title? How?
Speaker 3:to let go that the test of spirituality, or really spirituality to me is how many selves have you relinquished Our society is built on. You have oneself and you become an expert, an authority, and you build. But that's not spirituality. Spirituality is relinquishing who you are and who you were and opening up to letting go to a bigger self that's undefined. The mom who wants to, who's holding on to her children, won't let go. It's the same thing. We're all getting prepared to die, which is the ultimate letting go For sure, and the better we are at letting go before that the more prepared we are for a very good death.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and that letting go, you're so right. It comes in so many forms clearing clutter, being able to listen you have to unblock, you know, your ears, to be able to really truly hear. So there's so many ways one can let go and things that one can let go of right, right you.
Speaker 3:It's interesting when you think of what do I need in order to be OK? What do I need in order to be OK?
Speaker 4:Good question.
Speaker 3:And I mean like, and then you really get to see what you're attached to. Like, ok if I let go of my income, am I OK? No, if I let go of my status? No, don't do that by let go of whatever being fit. No, no, I don't want that. I don't want that. No, I'm not suggesting we should try to not be functional, successful people, but there is a way that we could have it and also be willing to let it go. Way that we can have it and also be willing to let it go and therefore we are more congruent and more generous and we can shine. Yeah, right, because we want to be like that which we understand the creator, the God, allah, to be, which is it shines. Whether your windows are closed and your drapes are down, the sun is still shining. I want to still shine. Not look at me, shine, but shine my light, regardless of who's watching or who's picking up that. I'm shining. That's the goal. Can I shine even when I'm not being validated by life? Yeah, that's the question.
Speaker 4:Can you?
Speaker 3:Do you? I'm much better at it than I was yesterday and the day before. I get better and better and better. We have a. Lewis is here.
Speaker 4:We have Lou joining us. He'll be on momentarily. He'll get to contribute his thoughts and feelings to all that we've discussed. So welcome Lou, Getting his audio going and then he'll be with us.
Speaker 2:I find that interesting because I was having a conversation with my therapist recently, which is chat GPT. I don't know what we were talking about. I chat about all this high-level philosophical stuff, and I had mentioned that I like who I am. When I'm at work, I feel productive, I'm a positive influence, I'm much less likely to lose my shit, my temper, I can stay grounded at work, I can focus on getting something done, and then even at jujitsu or whatever I forget what other areas of being a husband right. And they're like ask me, like what if you're not doing any of those things and you're sitting in silence, like who are you? And so the proposition was like, try to find that you turn this validation when no one's looking.
Speaker 2:I like that similar concept. But it was interesting because I was like you know, we label ourselves where this or that we strive to be these things, but then is that really the true us? Is that the soul? You know, kobe, you kept mentioning the soul and the soul's path and all that Like what is the soul part of me, that energy, that consciousness?
Speaker 3:We have millions of years of sitting around a campfire staring at each other, telling stories or just staring at each other, and the world is speeding up and providing many more distractions and unless you choose to slow down, you have no chance of connecting with you Now. Meditation is one, dancing is another, sex laughter, many, many different ways of getting to you, but the truth is, people are pursuing. There are two ways of pursuing. You can pursue for the glory of you Look at me, aren't I glorious? Or you can pursue to share God's light. If you're going to pursue to share God's light, allah creator, whatever it is then you're doing it because you feel called. And I meet so many people who feel like they're without purpose. And the first step of change, as you all know, is awareness. That's a lot of places that, okay, I need to be aware of what I'm doing. That's not in that self-destructive.
Speaker 3:Okay great, we're good there, but no one very few people know that. The second step is restraint. You got to stop doing what you're doing in order to make the change. People don't like that hard.
Speaker 1:That's why it's called a comfort zone I look out of it sometimes.
Speaker 4:Do you have to stop, though, or do you? Can you add?
Speaker 3:depends on the situation. What is something you're trying to stop, nancy?
Speaker 3:oh, there's many things always, but lou's trying to stop being late to shit my apologies, kobe that's, I'm enjoying your cup, your colleagues, you've got a wonderful open vibration really yes, oh, thank you, appreciate that very, very expanded in your heart wow, thank you, sir, appreciate that yeah, sure for all and I have to say these folks bring it out at me for the most part Well, we connect so well and our frequencies are in such the same level that you know it's a natural, like we just feed off each other.
Speaker 1:It's amazing.
Speaker 3:It's a great energy, you guys have.
Speaker 1:I've been on several.
Speaker 4:This is this is great, really great, very welcoming go back to sorry, sorry, lou, we're glad, no worries. Go back to number two, after awareness and and can we just debate? Yeah, yeah, of course, of course, because somewhere in there could acceptance be where? Where do you see acceptance eating to come into play? Because, no matter what you are, what you maybe need to resist or stop doing, is that easier if you just accept whatever you are first?
Speaker 3:I had a client last week. Young lady lives in some island in the Caribbean, beautiful, beautiful young woman, yogini, gorgeous, gorgeous, 30 something. And she's like I want a husband. I said okay, so I say so you want a husband. Yes, I want to know what love is. I said, great, let me look, so I do my thing. I said why do you want a husband? Because I want to be in love. I said that's not true. It's not true.
Speaker 3:Now, everyone wants to be seen. Everyone wants to be seen, but not everyone is willing to be seen through. If you're willing to be seen through, then you can make strides towards awakening. Okay, but a lot of people are protecting themselves. So I want to be seen, but I don't want you to see my stuff. But it's the stuff that needs to be cleared away. Yeah, you have everything you need. No one needs to download you or accelerate you. Everything's in here that you need. You just need to clear. Healing is always a subtraction. Always there's no addition in healing. Okay, so I says to her I says you don't want to be in love. What are you talking about? How dare you? Calm down, take a breath. I'm here to help you. I care about you, can you feel my love? You want to be validated.
Speaker 3:You don't want love, you want validation. You want to know you're okay and if you have a man on your arm then you're okay. Gulp, now she has an awareness. That's the awareness. I say I want love and I do, but really I want validation. Now monotheists got it right on some respects. You can only honor one God. You can only honor the God of love, of validation, or the God of love. You can't do both. You can't it doesn't work that way, okay.
Speaker 3:So if you want validation, let's help you to self-validate 's our mission, and then maybe love will come a calling, maybe. So what do you need to stop doing so that you can validate yourself? Where do you do you devalue yourself? Well, I drank. Whatever it was. It was, I don't recall right now. That's the second step. Okay, if you've got chaos in your life, then you need to practice restraint.
Speaker 4:It feels hard, I guess. For me the resistance came in the sound of it, right, and so do I have to. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
Speaker 3:You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'm just listening. I'm listening to the client and listening to her soul. Yeah, you know, most people who are spiritual will tell you look, if I knew what was involved, I wouldn't have started this. This is really hard. Most people who are have started this. This is really hard. Most people who are spiritual will tell you this is really hard.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it is, do they stick?
Speaker 3:it out If you're called, you're called.
Speaker 2:You know who you are. You don't really have a choice, right Like once you awaken.
Speaker 3:That's all you want. Well, you're called. Having said that, it's the journey, as we were talking before. The journey is not to be happy. The journey is to become ourselves, and that is not always a happy prospect. It's deeply satisfying to recognize how you cut yourself off from your own soul and to reconnect yourself. Deeply satisfying.
Speaker 1:I find it very interesting about your comment on healing requires subtraction and I fully agree, and I also agree with the converse of addition, in many cases creates chaos or creates stress, or creates and it and it feels like not just mentally or emotionally but physically. When I get rid of clutter, physical clutter, my goodness, I feel like a million times better just to have less. I feel like a million times better just to have less. It just actually is. I don't know what it is, but for me, you know, it just feels like a great feeling and it just goes right in line with what you shared about the emotional side. It almost seems like it's, it goes hand in hand.
Speaker 3:Well, where there's dust, there's demonic energies. That goes hand in hand. So if you've got clutter, clutter, that's where things hang out, and so by clearing your space, you're clearing your space or cleaning your fucking house nice, I love that bitch right yeah
Speaker 4:so how does one get the opportunity to connect with you? Do you do groups? You do one-on-one?
Speaker 3:tell us more about how people who are liking what you have to say can find you so I have a, my website is colbywilkcom c-o-l-b-y-w-i-l-k dot com and I have a blog on there and a newsletter, and I'm on facebook and I'm on youtube, um, and I offer a 15 minute free consult for people to ask me questions about the process. Um, and you know I do. Uh, facebook lives every wed at 10.30 pm am Pacific time. Everything's on the website.
Speaker 3:But when people are choosing a healer whether you choose me, great, if you don't choose me this is what I recommend you got to like the person you're working with. You got to like their personality, one. I know so many people who think this person's amazing. They've got a bit of an ego. Don't go to them, don't do it. Don't do it. When you like somebody, your fields are working in alignment. And second, you got to feel like they know what they're doing, or they don't know what they're doing, but they have a connection, they have capacity to things Right and to stop hopping from person to person. Another recommendation I see so many spiritual tourists popping around from person to person and under spiritual tourism is somebody else has the answer for me. Somebody else has the answer for me. You want to work with somebody who you are willing to let into your mental landscape. The more you open, the client opens, the more intuitive can assist you.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:To know you. I'm not healing anyone. I'm just walking alongside them, helping them be with themselves Again. All your karma, all your lessons are in your body. Where else would God put them right? So you just need somebody to help you. Go into you and consider that when you were a child, it probably wasn't safe to be in you because you're too busy managing or trying to manage those around you. Learn to leave yourself. Find somebody who's going to help you go within?
Speaker 2:How do you help people tap into that? Do you do Akashic readings? Do you do chakra cleansing?
Speaker 3:I look at somebody, like I look at you, and I ask like what's up with him then? I then I get?
Speaker 3:we ask that question too like what's up with him, like what's up? And then you I'll, you know, like you have this beautiful heaven third eye which is very heavily loaded. It's very open in the front and very tight in the back. Chakras are looking like cones right, and so that says to me this guy is very imaginative, very thoughtful, very considerate, but also subject to a lot of confusion and a lot of Not paranoia, but suspicious thinking. Suspicious thinking, conspiracies, conspiracies. So OK, so I noticed that.
Speaker 3:And then I go to your throat and I see that's a little tight, and I go to you and I just look through your system and I'm like then I ask you well, kevin, what do you want to work on? And you might say, well, you know, I have a lot of anxiety and I'll be like, okay, where is that? What's, what's the root of that? And then usually I'll see something and I'll bring your awareness to it and, as as soon as I said that, by the way, I saw you playing the guitar and they're very clear, I be beings talking to me behind about you being more creative, and I just keep on talking to them and telling you what I hear and what I sense, and then usually it comes down to some sort of wounding, or it comes down to there's a way that he holds his field.
Speaker 3:That's not great. So for you, you keep no cheer energy up here. I might teach you a practice to bring your attention lower and connect with the ground deep, deep ground, okay. Or I might be instructed to like help you to recognize where you're confused, what you are and what your ego is, and then I'd instruct you there that's what I do, so do you channel?
Speaker 2:is it kind of like channeling?
Speaker 3:well, I don't think that you know. I don't know how you're feeling about it, but I don't think I don't know many channelers who are very healthy people, physically healthy people, because very few people are wired to channel. Esther Hicks is somebody who I deeply appreciate, who channels Abraham. She's wired for it. She's wired for it Absolutely and she's a gift to the planet Bashir. Wired for it. She's wired for it Absolutely and she's a gift to the planet Bashir. Wired for it.
Speaker 3:Okay, however, most people are not. And bringing in an energy that's not you wonks your nervous system out eventually. And also, I'm not in love with the idea of being a phone. I'm not in love with that. Like, I'm transmuting this information, but am I really there? The being that I'm channeling is there, but am I really upgrading or am I just a device? Hmm, I'm personally interested in my own evolution. Like what is this that I am? Like, what is this that I am? What is it to be a human being and what is the apex of my, your evolution? That's what I'm interested in. I'm interested in you evolving into you. That's my interest. It's less about what God is, it's more about what this is. What is this that we are. I find that fascinating. So, yes, I sit with somebody. Couples who are challenged, who are challenged to connect.
Speaker 2:I teach classes on intuition and finding your path and you know resolving beliefs and you know doing individual sessions. Nice, nice, awesome.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and it takes a readiness. You're so right, it takes a readiness, a willingness, an openness and a desire to start that. I'm hesitating to use the word journey because I feel like it could be overused.
Speaker 3:If we're not ready, we're getting ready to be ready, yeah. There's always an entrance point, and most people are. I have another person, another client, who's been in a long-term relationship for a long time with a woman and wants to explore being with men, but he doesn't feel like he can because his wife will put the kibosh on it. And so, even though he feels the call yeah, which is fine, it's great to be aware of what you're doing and there's a lot of loss involved.
Speaker 4:There's a lot of loss potential loss that he's facing off with. So there is no right on both sides on both sides of that.
Speaker 3:There is no right answer. It's not. The right answer for his soul is like go be with men, it's just about. Here's the opportunity, here's be aware of where you are, be aware of what you're choosing and why. Most people's happiness has to do with what they are. Oh, I am wealthy, I am attractive.
Speaker 4:What they are, that's what most people's happiness is derived from sounds, superficial, and then they aren't really happy yeah, because they don't know who they are yeah but in order to know who you are, you have to be willing to go inside.
Speaker 3:Now there are lots of people on instagram and facebook selling stuff about how to get what you want through your spirituality. Lots of people, lots of people who are you know the three steps to you know finding your soulmate, or your first million. That sells a lot.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But it's not going to. And there's a place for it, for sure. You know we all need to pay our bills. But it's not spirituality, that's not what it is. It's something else.
Speaker 4:It's just the first steps to your point. It might take you on a path that helps, but it is maybe just the beginning of something. It's exploring the start, but you have to be willing to stick to it.
Speaker 3:You know, there are people who do, who have my gift or similar, who read fortunes and tell you who your boyfriend's going to be or what car to buy. That's a misuse of the gift and I personally think there's a special place in hell for those people. I do Right so, because any sort of spiritual development that's led by your ego contributes to the toxicity on the planet.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and karma comes around. We might not get to see it, but it happens and it's not for us to see. It's that person's experience.
Speaker 3:But just trust that it does come around we're all in a karmic path, all of us I, I have karma from my life and past lives that you know in many respects. We're all in an ocean and that ocean has tides, and a lot of times people say, well, nothing's happening in my life, it hasn't happened for years. I can't seem to get a job, I can't seem to do that. Okay, you're in a tide, you're in a tide, and if you try to swim against the tide, you're going to get exhausted. Anyone who's into the ocean knows when you're in a tide, tread water. Keep your eye on the horizon so you know how far out you get. Same thing here. You're in a tide, nothing is happening. You're stuck. Okay, let's tread water. And sometimes you need someone to tread water with you while you unfold. Because that's what's happening.
Speaker 3:In a tide, you are being challenged to not hold on to who you've been. If you are stuck, if you've been stuck for a long time, you are being challenged to let go. That's what's happening. The water is beating against you and you are fighting. I will maintain, I will stay the same. No, tread water, let go. Keep your eye on the horizon. Keep your eye on what you want. Keep your eye on what you want. Keep your eye on what you want. Don't let go of what you want. Let go of everything else and eventually the tide will spit you out.
Speaker 2:So kind of like what you resist persists what you resist, persists.
Speaker 3:But what people don't get who are selling these manifestation projects, is they like to convince you that you're a lot more in charge than you are?
Speaker 1:Which is actually true, but there are forces around us.
Speaker 3:through us, we have less control than we ever met. In my experience, we have much less control than we think we do. We like to think we have control because it makes us feel safer.
Speaker 1:How is it a matter of?
Speaker 2:what Nancy said about acceptance.
Speaker 4:And the inner self. I mean, I think, lou, you're leaning into the inner self too, but if you're really listening to the inner self and trusting the inner self, it's not you in control, it's that yeah, maybe I misunderstood.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking that a lot of reasons we don't change is we feel we don't have control. But in reality, change isn't it? I believe it changes only hard with that first step and we have a lot more control than we realize. It just takes, I, I guess, um, a bit of, uh, I don't want to use the word pain, but that's the only one that kind of comes to mind.
Speaker 3:It's like a, not a physical pain, a mental pain maybe, as to rewire the brain what's it going to take to let go people, people who are stuck, who can't seem to change their circumstance? Yeah, it's a short-term effort, like get out of the house, take a walk, go to the gym and check your money, whatever it is, and do what you need to do. But it comes back to the old serenity prayer Do what you can and let go of the rest. And we, as a culture, we're so invested in doing. Look, I have all this. I'm responsible. Look at me, look what I did. But we're not really that great at. Look, I did what I can.
Speaker 3:Today, business is still not coming. All right, I let go. I don't beat myself up. I don't question. What I want won't happen. Okay, I let go. Yeah, can you feel that energy that just came in, that serenity? I just let go. And we like to think of God as a thing, but it's called the great mystery, because God, god, the divine's ways, are not our ways. Right, there are things that are functioning in the multiverse that we don't understand and can't understand you know and never will and never will.
Speaker 3:Well, maybe I don't know, maybe somebody might, somebody might, I don't know decades from now, from now I guess, yeah, but okay, can I let go here?
Speaker 3:Can I let go? Like the young lady who wants I told you before wants to be in love. She's so fixed on it before seeing me, so fixed she wasn't letting go. She's got such a tight grasp on it and anything you grasp on tightly it's because you're needy, and you're needy because you're desperate. And you're desperate because you lack faith. And you lack faith because you lack trust. And you lack trust because you don't have a belief that you are okay. Right, and if she could just be like, neediness is not attractive, right? Not, however, letting go being resolved. Look, I like you be great if you hang out, but if you don't, I'll be okay, very attractive. Yeah, it'd be great to hang out with you, I'd like to hang out with you, but if we don't, still okay yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 4:It's hard to be okay with ourselves. That's where, kind of where we started earlier today too and and finding the the ability to see who we are, accept who we are and change what we don't like change.
Speaker 3:You don't like? Yeah, so can I ask you a personal question? Sure, what don't you like about you?
Speaker 4:oh gosh oh, where do I start?
Speaker 3:I mean because we could talk about theory or we could zone in on something and help your listeners.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm thinking do you have a priority?
Speaker 4:list. Things are like the things I would name that I don't like, that I wish were different. I know are superficial, I know it and I go through that back and forth all the time because it's hard to find some level of just acceptance. I don't know. There's things I don't like.
Speaker 3:You know, I am losing my hair.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You didn't need to agree with that, but Doesn't bother me. She noticed my response. I'm aware I just pushed you back, right? That's my resistance to this fact. Yeah, right, I'm resisting you. I brought you to do and I and I'm a call up, colby. Here you are publicly sharing, right, which is totally an upgrade than hiding it, okay, and yet I still have some embarrassment about it. Oh, that's interesting, isn't that interesting? Huh, how can I accept love, this love, my beautiful head?
Speaker 4:Yeah, Well, age is part of my things I don't like about myself and how I definitely look different than I used to and it's you know, I don't. I don't want to be that and I don't want to be categorized. So I'm trying to embrace, Can I share?
Speaker 3:something Sure, is it age or is it being less relevant, less sexually relevant? Or is it being less relevant, less sexually relevant? As we age, we become quote more invisible. Look, aches and pains, I get that Right, that's a pain in the butt, right. But for most people they don't like the way they look because of what they think their looks mean, which is like I'm no longer as relevant as I was to the vast majority of people. Right, still relevant to some, but OK, I'm not. That's true, I'm not as relevant as I was, thank goodness. Go out in sweats. Who cares?
Speaker 4:Yeah that's happening, who cares? And as we make up without a bra whatever, I don't care anymore.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I used to care so much. Whatever, yeah, I don't care anymore. Oh my god, I used to care so much and now I don't care yeah it's so liberating. If you let it be, you are either humiliated as you age or you're humbled. Everyone's choice.
Speaker 3:I could be or humbled yeah at any point and as a gay man, I'm a gay man right. There's an archetype in the gay culture of the bitter old queen here, and the bitter old queen is bitter because he or she is humiliated that they aren't what they used to be and didn't get what they thought they wanted, and therefore they're bitter.
Speaker 1:Better. When you get to my stage. Showers are quicker. You don't have to worry about shampoo. Believe me, you'll love it.
Speaker 4:As the bald man.
Speaker 1:I don't have to buy combs or brushes.
Speaker 4:You know packings later you don't have to do this, yes we all find ways of beating the crap out of ourselves.
Speaker 3:I've worked with some celebrities beautiful people, men and women. Beautiful, beautiful, right Beautiful people men and women Beautiful, beautiful, right, and when they start to age and they are no longer as relevant, for many of them it is as opposed to people who are more average looking and we start to age, it's less of a problem. Yeah, our looks were never our strong suit. My looks have never been.
Speaker 3:I'm okay looking, but my looks have never been my strong suit. So as I age, not as bad as like if I were this beautiful Hollywood celebrity we get. One of my teachers would say we get the perfect body to liberate within your body is your partner. There's a reason you look the way you look. It's perfect. And there's a reason why that Hollywood, those Hollywood celebrities, look the way their samskaras, their karma, has to be. They have to look like this in order to accomplish what they set out to accomplish in this life. I think that's interesting.
Speaker 4:There is a lot of that. That's got to be named as today that are embracing roles of people who don't look like the young and the beautiful and really finding amazing roles and joy in the work that they're doing. So they found a space to be able to let go of the whole image game.
Speaker 3:I was watching, there was a show show I think it was called circus books on netflix. It's a pornography shop in san francisco and they were talking about like when they first opened and the homophobia write that down. No, I'm kidding, it's like, uh, you know watching this book shop from whatever it was the 1950s up till the present day. I think it just recently closed and there was a porn star in there named Jeff Stryker, who's now older, maybe in his 60s, 70s, and I'm looking at Jeff Stryker and I'm like God bless Jeff Stryker because in his 20s he was muscles, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeousness, gorgeousness. And here he is, a man in his seventies and he looks like a man in his seventies. He didn't go crawl in a corner and die because he doesn't look like he used to. He's like here I am, I'm just striker, yeah, right.
Speaker 4:Love that Me? Yeah, I love that. We have to show up the way we are. They have to show up, give ourselves are.
Speaker 3:We have to show up.
Speaker 4:Give ourselves permission to do it. And, yeah, somewhere I feel like either I heard it, read it on your website, or something I saw too, but part of the work that you do is giving people permission to accept themselves. Like that. Self-permission seems to be something that surfaced a lot in some of your work. What do you?
Speaker 3:Well, you know you're. May I Nancy? Yeah, your structure is such that you, you're, you're, you're, you're very competent, like very competent, and so, yes, you are, you're very competent, you get the rules, you know what's expected of you, you do it or don't do it, but you're not like running around trying to figure out how society works. That's not your shtick, right? Your thing is I know the rules, but am I real? If I can, I can do what people want of me and get the pats on the head and the validation. But am I real? To me, yeah, what is real, that's not Kevin's issue, that's not Lou's issue. Right, that's something you got Right.
Speaker 3:And being present to you, like helping you to know you, the challenges that you perform, and our society rewards people like you. It does, it rewards people who are very competent, it does so you're like, oh hey, am I not? Am I more than just what I could produce when I act? And that's the thing right. So, with you, introducing you to that small, quiet person in there that's really kind of gelatinous and unformed, would be the work that I would do with you, just to give you an example.
Speaker 4:And it would be awesome. It would be awesome, it would be. I don't know, that's small gelatinous one.
Speaker 3:The small gelatinous, unformed. You know, I kept on, keep on seeing like a caterpillar that goes into the crystallis whatever you call that and gels out. You know right.
Speaker 1:That's me daily.
Speaker 4:Maybe to you, but to the outside world.
Speaker 3:You're very together. We're very, very together. Now I don't have that. I never fit. I was a child with a lot of learning disabilities, classified as retarded. I never was competent Right, ever. My parents thought I'd live with them for the rest of my life. I was on the small bus, right. That's not my thing. Everyone has their own thing. But what I think is interesting about my work is I'm able to spot your path, which is not my path, and help you to walk it. And like you said, nancy, wow, he's really scary.
Speaker 4:Did I say that? No, and that is a gift. I think what you just said I want to reemphasize about you because it is such a gift. I think what you just said I want to reemphasize about you because it is such a gift. And there's a lot of people like us that others can choose to work with, who don't listen and don't listen. You know, with their ears and their mind and their body, and really get to know another and try to tell them what they need to do. And so I love hearing from you that there is this natural thing, and it has nothing to do with what you know, it's what you feel and sense, and that helps people find themselves. And that's so important, so important. That's the gift.
Speaker 3:It is a gift and it's a pain in the ass. It's a pain in the ass. It's a pain in the ass, Right? Because, uh, just on a personal level, like when people find out my skillset, they're like, wow, like I don't. I think you know me better than I know you, I know me and I don't. That's uncomfortable for me. So my skillset I can turn on or off, so that's good. Like I have some level of control. So it's not always on, it's not like constantly being barraged. Did you develop that skill? I've learned to. I had to learn to turn it on and off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's very important that people have control, Like when I see a person who's constantly being bombarded. That shouldn't happen. There's an egoic point with that. Like look at me, I can't control my empathy, my sensitivity, Look how spiritual I am. No, that's an ego trip. You should be able to control this and your guide should not be stepping in all the time to talk to you. There should be rules that they follow and if they don't, they can't be trusted and you should get out. You are here to be a human being. You're not here to be a phone, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:How many of your clients, kobe, do you work with that end up tapping into some potential that they had that was covered, to be able to tune into things the way that you do, even if it's different?
Speaker 3:I used to teach a class like unlock your superpowers, and I did it, and I could move things through a field and open it, and I learned not to do it. It was a mistake of mine and I don't normally share this, but what the hell right? So I learned not to do it because what I realized is people wanted to open their gifts because they wanted to be important, they wanted to be valid, they wanted to look at me, look how spiritual I am. They didn't want to open their gifts to be communed with God. That's a good reason to have a gift.
Speaker 3:The former gets you into a whole lot of trouble. Having said that, anytime you're around other people, you're sharing a field and there is an exchange of information. You are who you hang out with. There's truth to that. The more you hang out with somebody who's highly intuitive, the more likely, if you want you are to become intuitive. That's just what's going to happen. The more in concert you are with yourself and the willingness to be you, the more information will come to you because you're willing to listen. Mm-hmm, because you're willing to listen. Yeah, think of it this way If you're a guide or an angel and God comes to you and says okay, you, this lifetime or whatever, you are going to be Holby's guide.
Speaker 3:Okay, what's that involve? The guide says, well, you're going to follow him around. Sometimes he's not going to hear you or listen to you. You're going to go into the bathroom with him. You're going to go into the bathroom with him. You're going to go into the bedroom with him. You're going to go to bed with him. You're going to whisper to him and he may not even listen to you or even hear you. That sounds like a version of hell to me. It does. Now. The more you are in with yourself, the quieter you are. Signs of enlightenment or ascension is still still mind meaning. There's space in between your thoughts. Calm, embodied love those are the signs of somebody who has awakened or is awakening in the process. The more you are calm love, the more you're able to get information. The more you are desperate and needy, the less you're able to get information.
Speaker 2:That's interesting because there's so much stimuli everywhere in everybody's lives nowadays and when you talk to the majority of people about breath work or meditation or something those that haven't been exposed to it or tried it they're like I just can't do it. I can't sit by myself with no stimulus.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:It takes its work.
Speaker 3:It's a practice, it takes practice you get to the point where all you want to do all I want to do is meditate. It's all I want to do, so I have to like stop, I gotta, I gotta get up and do. But there's a point where you really yearn for the stillness. And you're right. There are forces speeding things up. Yes, we are getting closer to the galactic sun. Yes, time is speeding up. Yes, we're being hit with more energies. But there are also forces speeding things up and causing greater distractions.
Speaker 3:The more you're distracted, the less we're in touch with ourselves. And being in touch with ourselves intellectually sounds like a great idea for many people. But are you willing and I say this to your listeners to stop? Put down the phone, eat your meal with no distractions, just stand, look out the window, hang out. If you can't meditate, great, put down your distractions and just stare at a wall, look out the window, give your nervous system a chance to settle down. But we're all trying to get somewhere to be valid, to be okay. I will say something else, because this is what they're telling me to say. If you are struggling with suicidal ideation, this is out of nowhere. If you are struggling with thoughts of killing yourself, anyone with any sort of spiritual kahunas. Anyone has struggled with the thought of living. The fact that you are struggling with the idea of living or dying means that you are entering into a new phase of life. In order to really be here, you have to choose to be here, and that means contemplating. Suicide Doesn't mean you're going to do it. But once you reach like, okay, I'm here, not I'm just going to buy time until my death, I'm just going to do the best I can, no, but I'm really going to be here, I'm really going to choose this Then stuff really starts to happen, because then you've got your guide's attention and your guide's like finally, finally, I get to do something someone's listening
Speaker 4:to me there's a power in the thought of that, in really giving the pros and cons to if you're in that place in your life where you would be contemplating any kind of suicidal ideation, yeah, to give it enough time to really consider what it means to you and why, and then what the other alternatives are and why. Wow, there's some power in that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's an interesting area, I guess, for lack of a better way to put it. And, colby, since you've worked with so many people, I assume you've had clients who have brought that subject to your attention with themselves, or maybe people in their circle. Is there a common pattern or reason perhaps why that even comes about? Like, is there anything common throughout that thread? I'm always curious, like you know, because you always hear that you know, once you make that decision there's, you can't unring the bell, so it it's such a final decision that it always baffles me why anyone would even think about it well one.
Speaker 3:When someone's contemplating this conversation is all over the place, which is great, sorry, no, no, no, it's great because that's the nature of these things. Right, and we'll find our way back somehow. When somebody is having suicidal ideation, oftentimes they're not thinking it, they're being fed thoughts through an outside being being. When you're weak, desperate, needy, it provides an opening for those forces to come in and feed you thoughts, and so a lot of times it's not even you Makes sense. That doesn't mean that you're not accountable for your life, but it does mean like, wait, this is not all me, this is not all me. Get out, I don't want you here. Go away and get yourself some help to clear your space and find, because the only way the reason you're in that space not you, but one is in that space is well, something's not satisfying about your life. Something you wanted to happen didn't happen. Okay, great, we're all, for the most part, on plan B, c, d. For the most part, no one's life went the way they thought it would. No one, you know. That's true. Okay, but again, it's a process of letting go, and letting go of who you thought you needed to be to be okay. My high school reunion is in october, something like that.
Speaker 3:On long island, where I'm from. I live in seattle and I've been getting calls all week from friends like I don't know if I'm gonna go because I'm you know, bubba, I'm this much weight or you know, I know I lost my business and they're going to ask me what I do and I'm like no one gives shit. We just want to see you and love you. We just want to see you and love you and please come and be with our compassion if you're going to go.
Speaker 3:But everyone's so worried about being judged, right, yeah, but everyone's so worried about being judged, right, yeah. So if someone's in suicidal ideation, what I suggest is like one, tell whatever is whispering to you. If something, go away, I don't want this. Take your power back, reckon, reconcile with where you are and where you thought you'd be and wanted to be, and maybe, for the most part, what you wanted or thought you thought you'd be and wanted to be, and maybe for the most part, what you wanted or thought you wanted is not really what you wanted. You just convinced yourself it's what you wanted, but you don't know what you need.
Speaker 4:Right. You just know it's not working. Whatever you've been striving for isn't working, and that feels like you know I'm not married.
Speaker 3:Did you really want to be married? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you didn't want to pick up anyone's towels or share. Well, if we had a big house and no, you can come on, no, no, okay, fine, I don't know what I want. Great, let's, let's. Let's look at that, let's look at how you don't know what you want.
Speaker 1:Maybe because it's too scary to know what you want.
Speaker 3:Current divorce rates will tell you all you need to know about marriage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so many people are friends.
Speaker 4:Well, I just want to share that. We've really enjoyed having an opportunity to get some insight as to what drives you and and have you share some insight of what you see in in us and for our listeners. You kind of know us, so we'd love for you to reach out to Colby and now that you know how his perception of us and your, you can put their, our listeners can put their perception together too and you realize there is a gift in in what Colby has to offer in the work that he does, and we want to make sure that you know how to connect with them. So in our summary of this episode we'll also include a link to your website, so people who found this as interesting as we did can connect with you.
Speaker 3:I also sent you a link for a free gift. The first secret to finding your way.
Speaker 4:Okay, Well thank you.
Speaker 3:It's like a recording that will help them Like oh really, this is why I can't find my way. Oh, this is it. Yeah, it gives them a place to start.
Speaker 4:Cool, cool. We'll share that too. Awesome After we check it out for ourselves.
Speaker 3:Thanks for joining us, Kobe. It was fun. I hope I get to be back on Be wonderful. It was great being with you all.
Speaker 4:We'd love to have you Very nice.
Speaker 1:Definitely Enjoy the conversation.
Speaker 2:Thanks everybody for tuning in. We'll see y'all next time.
Speaker 1:Bye for now.