Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Our minds are like houses. When they're new, they're empty. As we live our lives we acquire treasures that eventually turn into shit that creates clutter. Some of this stuff is useful, while some of it is simply junk which just creates obstacles for us. What if we could eliminate the nonsense we don't need, and create more room for useful things? Join us on this podcast where we discuss removing what we don't need, implementing beneficial changes to our minds, bodies and souls, to create a life of abundance and fulfillment.
Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Ep. 98 - The Art of Surviving Everyday Overwhelm
The constant barrage of tasks, responsibilities, and expectations in modern life creates a unique form of mental chaos that many of us struggle to manage. In this thought-provoking conversation, we explore why our minds become cluttered with obligations that seem to multiply endlessly as we age.
Whether it's renewing vehicle registrations, meeting work deadlines, or maintaining relationships, the question emerges: is it even possible to be on top of everything? We challenge the perfectionist notion that complete control is achievable or even desirable. Instead, we offer a practical framework for managing the inevitable overwhelm: recognize it, accept it, zip it (set it aside), flip it (reframe it), and release it.
One particularly comforting discovery is the universality of this experience. Though social settings often create the illusion that everyone else has their life perfectly organized, the reality is that we're all navigating similar challenges behind our composed exteriors. This shared struggle connects us and offers permission to be more compassionate with ourselves.
We explore various coping strategies, from the simple power of list-making to consistent physical activity that releases mental tension. The conversation also turns to how external resources—books that distill years of wisdom, entertainment that offers relatable scenarios, and even emerging AI companions—might provide valuable support in managing our mental chaos.
What if your overwhelming schedule isn't actually a problem but a growth opportunity? By shifting perspective, we can transform our relationship with life's challenges, seeing them as chances to expand our capabilities rather than burdens to endure.
Join us for this honest, vulnerable discussion about mental clutter and walk away with practical tools to create more space for what truly matters. How do you handle life when everything happens at once? We'd love to hear your thoughts!
Hello and welcome to Clean your Fucking House, bitch, with Nancy, kevin and Lou. In our program we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up? We'll show you how. Get ready to clean your fucking house.
Speaker 2:Hey everybody, welcome back. It's Clean your Fucking House Bitch with Kevin, lou and Nancy. What's?
Speaker 1:going on, guys, lots of cleaning, lots of cleaning.
Speaker 3:Yeah, every day is cleaning, isn't it it?
Speaker 2:what's not going on? No, you don't have a lot going on, nancy. No, lots is going on.
Speaker 1:Oh, lots is going on isn't that seem to be the thing, is it? Is it a matter of as we get older, it feels like there's more to do? You know it's the whole. You got to be responsible as an adult thing, or is it?
Speaker 2:a sign of the times? I don't know. It never really ends, though right God.
Speaker 1:It just feels like it gets crazier and crazier. I don't get it.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It can be overwhelming, though, the amount of things that you need to do Like it's just always something Like there's just always something like there's only to do like fucking renew your vehicle registration.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you. Mine expires this year in may I have to expire every year, lou in Illinois.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're annually, like expires this year. Fuck, no, mine really does, I and and I I know when I went to florida they really do have.
Speaker 1:You have to renew them annually. Your license, no, your registration for you, oh sorry, I sorry, I'm thinking license, my license is expiring. Yeah, because I'm thinking damn so I missed it several years over there laughing at you right now.
Speaker 3:I think, she's laughing at the three of us right now. Let me remember when.
Speaker 1:I lived in, I think it first of all, when I used to live in Massachusetts. I think it was every four, maybe five years, but they would also send you either a paper piece of paper, mail Cause back then this is we're talking years ago or something to remind you. Then, when I moved to Florida, it kind of changed to like I think it was every 10 years and no notification. You just had to remember. I'm like who the fuck remembers to do something 10 years later after you did it?
Speaker 2:No, no one. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't.
Speaker 3:No, there's something missing there.
Speaker 1:And I actually got stuck renewing it when I went to buy a car no, buy a car, or maybe my car was being serviced, something like that. So they were going to give me a rental. And when they looked at my license dude, your license expired, I'm like what. And I had to go to the DMV and I was there all day, which is why my photo looks like shit.
Speaker 2:Oh, come on, Be nice to yourself.
Speaker 1:Well, they always look like shit, right yeah?
Speaker 2:No, no, you should see mine. You want to see mine.
Speaker 3:I wish I could look like my license photo.
Speaker 2:I was wearing a hat and then she made me take it off.
Speaker 1:You got the hair, what do you?
Speaker 3:call it a little hat head yeah, hat head yeah so lots going on and people are trying to figure out how to juggle. Is that the deal?
Speaker 1:overwhelm.
Speaker 2:Yep, it feels chaotic, like kevin said, feels never ending is it possible to like be on top of every single thing, Like is that an obtainable?
Speaker 3:position. Even if it is a position, it's not sustainable, right Like how long can you hold that for?
Speaker 1:And is that? Sometimes, when I think about that very thing, I wonder and if you get there, though, are you then not? Are you then not useful anymore? In other words, like you did everything, where do you go from there? And, and one of the examples I always think of is at work. I was just talking to a co-worker today who was sharing that, as she's become more proficient in the things she's doing as part of her role, new things are being tossed at her, but rather than absorbing that into her existing timeline framework of efficiency, if you will in other words, still being able to get everything done in 40 hours she was working 60 hours. So then I'm thinking this seems like one of those cases where they think you're working 40 or putting in 60. So they're tossing you more because you keep getting shit done and it never ends.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. When to say? When that's a really good thing to recognize and acknowledge, when there is a lot going on and when is enough, enough for the day, or whatever the circumstances. Know, circumstances are like you can't just take it all on and take it all on and take it all on yeah, how do you determine that?
Speaker 2:because, like, in my position, I've got, I've had to get used to never being caught up, like there's always stuff to do, and I'll like work extra, I'll work weekends or evenings, like I don't, I don't mind, I don't feel like I'm driving myself into the ground and I you know there's things that need to get done. But I guess, yeah, like, how do you identify that, that boundary? I guess you could call it right, like is it once we have? A detrimental impact on your life or your relationships. Is that the point? Or?
Speaker 1:when your body tells you well.
Speaker 3:So I read an article yesterday on um how to stop overthinking, which is connected to overwhelm, right, and there were like uh, five or six steps, and if you're curious I'll just name the steps. We don't have to explain them, we can talk about it after if we want. Sure, one is to recognize it, two is to accept it, three is to zip it, four is to flip it and five is to release it. So, recognize it, accept it, four is to flip it and five is to release it.
Speaker 1:So recognize it, accept it, zip it, flip it, release it. Sounds like what is it? Flip it, rip it, rub it down. What is that song? I?
Speaker 2:don't know. I thought of the bop it though. Bop it, bop it, twist it, what's? Flip it and zip it?
Speaker 3:I mean yeah zip it, yeah, zip. It is like write it down and then put it aside, like some way to, to just separate it and then to flip. It is really a term for reframing. So what is the way that you're thinking about that thing? If it feels like a negative, overwhelming thing, what's an alternative, alternative perspective you could attach to it?
Speaker 2:I guess we could apply this to like the main topic that we started discussing of, like life and all the shit happening constantly, things always going on, and I think it's like, for me at least, it's been a matter of trying to just really pay attention to how I'm perceiving things and not allow it to impact me, just knowing, like again, there's always stuff to do. Handle things as I can, I try not to like put shit off and procrastinate.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the first step recognize it. Like, once we have awareness to a thing, sometimes it looks better, sometimes it looks worse, but awareness helps you figure out which direction to move it almost feels like that's ongoing Meaning.
Speaker 1:the recognition is always there because the chaos is always there. But I guess some people can get caught up in it and it becomes a routine and they're stressing out over it rather than just sitting and thinking.
Speaker 2:That definitely used to be me, like I would get completely overwhelmed and then I would beat myself up constantly Like I'm not doing enough or being proactive enough. And then now I just kind of remind myself that, like life is very multifaceted, there are many areas in each of our lives that need focus and attention and effort and energy right, that need focus and attention and effort and energy right. And so trying to just balance where you're putting energy into the legs of the wheel of balance right, just making sure that you have that strong, as balanced as possible of a foundation. So when all the shit hits the fan in one area of life, you have these other areas where you've created stability to lean on, to get through and repair, or however you want to frame it. That one area that's kind of going crazy, you know.
Speaker 1:I think one thing that's helpful with the overall process is also recognizing, realizing that it's not just us, it's. I think it's easy to say, oh, I'm the only one who's behind, I'm the only one who needs to catch up and I'm the only one who's overwhelmed.
Speaker 2:You know, it appears like everyone around me is things are running smoothly for them when obvious, you know, certainly behind the scenes it's quite a common yeah occurrence that is true, like looking at other people, like you can never really especially, I think, in like like a social environment we always, I think typically want to like put our best foot forward and look, or at least appear, like things are okay, unless it's someone real close to us that we open up to or we're willing to be vulnerable around, and so you never really know unless someone opens up. But I assume most of us have a lot of shit happening in our lives at all times.
Speaker 3:Maybe in different places of our lives. But yeah, I don't think, like you were just saying, all the different aspects of your life can't be good at all the same time, all the time, and you need to repair one so you can deal with the other when it starts to slide well, maybe it is all good because that's a matter of perspective too.
Speaker 2:You know, like, even if things are crazy, like cool, I'm getting out of my comfort zone dealing with something and having to kind of overcome the anxiety or stress that it causes, like I'm growing. So I guess that is a good thing, right? I think you just flipped it, hey.
Speaker 3:He also accepted it. Right, he accepted it and then he flipped it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a challenge, it's a growth opportunity. It's invigorating and motivating that I have something to work on. I love that.
Speaker 2:That's cool. Lou's got a takeaway. He's got a moment.
Speaker 1:No, but I think that's actually really, really helpful. In other words, you know, as we were just sharing, it's easy to get caught up in it from a negative perspective and think, oh my God, I'm, something bad is going to happen, or my boss is going to yell at me or whatever. Whatever is going to yell at me or whatever, whatever, and they're going. But yeah, you know what Everyone goes through this. Here's a challenge. I have 30 things. Let me take a breath, prioritize, you know, just take a step back and wow, this one's pretty involved. Here's a challenge I can work on.
Speaker 2:I mean, really, I think it puts us in a really positive mindset to attack it. Yeah, boom Boom, zip it, flip it Are two of the steps grip it and rip it.
Speaker 1:They should be easier to remember Recognize, accept zip, flip. And then what was the last one?
Speaker 2:Not reframe, oh release it.
Speaker 1:Release Let it go.
Speaker 2:Oh, that almost sounds like take a breath and release it.
Speaker 3:I like that though. So it sounds like just talking about ways to deal with overwhelm made it easier to like. I feel a lightness already between the three of us that comes from just being able to talk about where challenges surface, and I think that's true for any and everybody who's listening. If you have a thing that's weighing on your mind, talk to somebody, or talk to yourself out loud, or you know.
Speaker 1:Listen to a podcast.
Speaker 2:Or that too or you know listen to a podcast, or that too does it make you guys feel better, like knowing that you're not alone, that you're not the only one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, not that I want anyone to have to be dealing with some of the stuff in life I deal with, but it is nicer to know we're not the only one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you're not alone.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, the others can understand. Yeah, it almost feels. I I don't think demotivating is the word, but it feels um, certainly different if we were to feel that we're everyone else has their shit together and they're perfectly managing and we're the only one struggling. I mean that just you feel like you're not part of the group or you're not able to keep up you feel uh like inadequate? Yeah and that gets back.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I was just gonna say anyone listening like, no matter how fucked up things are, how much you have going on like we don't want to add additional pressure on top of the things that are already out of our control, because we do have control over how we approach things, how we perceive things, how we allow things to impact us. So you know we have a lot of. We have enough shit to deal with people.
Speaker 3:We don't need to be adding to the list no, but we have to remind ourselves of that because sometimes we know things but we don't remember and it's like, okay, you don't have to carry this weight all by yourself, like figure it out or get a partner or talk to someone or put it aside for now, like we have to remind ourselves, it's okay.
Speaker 2:That's a really good point. You just made me think about, like from a consulting perspective or even a coaching perspective, like how often is the phrase I know I should, or I know this or that that's said so often Like the knowledge is there, the understanding is there. It's really the execution piece. That's the biggest hurdle, I feel like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think, as you mentioned earlier, thinking that and knowing that it's normal and not so far-fetched or again, I'm the only one going through this kind of mentality I think is an important bit of awareness.
Speaker 2:Well, there's support in that too.
Speaker 2:You know, like I remember years ago feeling like I was just in a different place than anyone else and I certainly like deeply felt that my social circles, I felt like everybody was in a different place than I was and almost like I had to just search or find answers to everything and go through all these different methods and then you come to find out like you can find things that resonate with you from people that have been through it. That's why I like reading. It's like you can take an entire hurt, like a person's biggest life lessons, and it's just bundled up in this beautiful little package of a few hundred pages and it allows you to read and absorb years and decades of trial and error in some cases, and what they took away from it, instead of having to do it on your own and relive it Like you know and you read it and whatever resonates with you you can piece together for yourself. You know we're all going to take different things out of it, but take what works for you and and try to apply it.
Speaker 3:You know, try to reframe things for yourself I think I've even gained the same from, I'll say, tv, tv, but whatever. It is streaming right and as you watch people maneuvering through different things in relationships and they laugh about it or they cry about it or they yell at each other about it or they're totally in sync. But in watching other people you realize, oh, those ideas didn't come from nowhere. It comes back to we're all doing this same thing and trying to figure it out with each other. And how am I dealing with it? You know, am I the crier, am I the yeller, am I the whatever? And what would work better? And so you, you do kind of feel, even though you don't know any of those people, not alone in the situation that you're feeling, and you might see a solution or you might see what not to do. I don't know.
Speaker 1:It depends on what you're watching I kind of wonder, in this day and age of now, the onset of ai how you know might sound like it's a completely unrelated topic, but you know ai is everywhere and how that might now come into play, not just from a help me get organized or deal with all this shit I have going on and whatnot, but just the the mental health side of it. Or, you know, it just seems like there's well, say more.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? How it would be used, how it will cause people stress, how?
Speaker 1:Well, I think the idea is one of a solution, meaning, since covid and maybe even a little bit before, certainly with the onset of social media, I will say is there's been more and more of the online social community versus, like, say, in person, and that whole thing has leaked over into other segments of society, healthcare being one, meaning you can now have a doctor appointment over Zoom versus in person Mental health as well.
Speaker 1:You have mental health sessions, say, over Zoom, and then the next evolution of that has been apps mental health apps and you have mental health sessions they always zoom and then the the next evolution of that has been apps mental health apps and things to help you deal with stuff. And I'm just thinking, you know, uh, ai's got to have a place in there to deal with overwhelm in some way, and maybe it could even be something that's tailored to each person, which is, I think, what ai in general kind of tends to do. You know, is it get smarter? I don't know if it's a get smarter for everyone or if it's my own little AI app on my phone gets smarter for me. That part I'm not completely clear on. Well, I, wouldn't say.
Speaker 2:I think it does get to know you individually, right.
Speaker 3:Could? Yeah, for sure. And then in the way that you would ask a question, like just going into Google or something right now, right, the way that you ask a question, an AI response comes up first. So it's kind of made an assumption of what might be the criteria around your circumstance, versus just a bunch of links which you have to sort your way through. Does this make sense? So, yeah, it is getting to know you and it might be more tailored to you I think there are ai companion apps now too, where you can pick a almost like.
Speaker 1:I think years ago there was something of a pet and I'm having a weird deja vu, I think we talked about this where you could have, like, a pet. Um, there was an app that you would have a pet and, as you would, you would feed it at certain times and it would grow and and get to know you. I think that the companion apps are kind of going in that direction, which feels kind of therapeutic in a way. You know they're going to get to know more about you and what motivates you and and what helps, and it just feels like, you know, maybe there's a solution there for dealing with with life. I kind of weird. I'm sort of 50 50. Is it going to help or kind of push us more in a direction of non-human contact?
Speaker 3:I don't know it could be the beginning for someone who's isolated, of finding comfort in connecting with others and then eventually actually being able to connect with people in some way, and it could make someone revert.
Speaker 2:But there's all different needs probably like what you take out of it and how you utilize it. Like anything else, right? I remember seeing this comment. I think I was on reddit, I was reading about something and someone had posted that they use ai like they don't have anyone else to talk to and so they do literally have conversations with chat GPT.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 1:I kind of see a movie coming out of this where, like, the app starts telling you to murder people or something.
Speaker 2:Maybe life of the movie though.
Speaker 3:Well, there was one way back I'm not going to remember the name of the actress, but where the guy has a relationship with the girl on the phone Siri but and he's I can't remember who our listeners would know. So this isn't. Yeah, it feels it's not as new as we think it is. It was applied behind the scenes for a long time and could you imagine like you've guys seen the show catfish?
Speaker 2:you ever see?
Speaker 1:no, but I know of it sounds like it is what it's titled I wonder if, like I wonder who the like if someone's been catfished by ai?
Speaker 2:oh, that'd be that would be crazy, right like come to find out. This person not only is not the person you think they are, they're not a person at all they're not a person at all what would generate that and where would?
Speaker 3:I don't know. There's a lot to think about around that, but anyway, none of this, so hopefully ai doesn't contribute to overwhelm. Let's, let's circle back.
Speaker 1:You know me yeah, no, hopefully it would be a solution. But again thinking in terms of, um, how, uh, like what you just shared in terms of your reading, your exercise, with the five ways to deal with overwhelm, I I mean literally you could ask your person, not a person, siri to you know what are the five ways, sort of thing. I mean, it's just ways to get information quickly.
Speaker 3:Yeah. But, then would that lead to more.
Speaker 1:Ok, now I still have these other things to do.
Speaker 3:Well, why don't we do a wrap by each naming or committing to a thing we'll do to help reduce our own? I'm not saying any either. Any of us are overwhelmed right now, but we all kind of said we had a lot going on. So what are we going to do? What's a solution in the short term?
Speaker 1:that each of us are going to take, that might be helpful to others. I think, for me at least, one way to manage it is list making. Simply list out all the things I need to do, whether work or personal. Um, at just that doesn't have to. You know, a very simple step. It's so easy. I try. I'm the type of person that tries to remember everything. Okay, I know, I have these 10 things. I just try to remember them. Then I hit a point where, like damn, I have to write this stuff out now because I now it's 30 things and you're getting older too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, you're right, and and that is a really significant step in helping to manage it is okay. You know what? Let's just make the list. I die in the past few months and I haven't been drinking and stuff. And when I do eat like shit, like I had pizza last weekend. It was the first time I've had it in months. I really felt like shit.
Speaker 1:I was going to say that you felt like shit.
Speaker 2:So I don't know, I feel like just trying to make better choices in any given moment and just sticking with what has been working for me. I don't think I need any big dramatic change, but just, you know, staying consistent.
Speaker 3:There you go. I think I'm going to make again consistent plays into this more consistent time for self-care activities, which are physical activities, and whether it's inside or outside, to give myself time just for that to release whatever's building up.
Speaker 2:And if all fails, grip it and rip it. Like Nancy said earlier, pack the bong and then rip it as hard as you can, and then you'll forget all your problems and you'll probably get kind of hungry, you know, and then you'll sleep good.
Speaker 1:So flip, sip it, grip it, rip it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, exactly awesome, let's just wrap it with that. Take that thing you're dealing with, face it, reframe it, put it down and move forward. Release it.
Speaker 1:Thanks for joining us. Awesome. Yeah, sorry, nancy and I were going to just play a studio we call it bookends here but anyway, thanks everyone for joining us. We hope you enjoyed this episode. Look forward to you joining us on the next. Bye for now.