Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Our minds are like houses. When they're new, they're empty. As we live our lives we acquire treasures that eventually turn into shit that creates clutter. Some of this stuff is useful, while some of it is simply junk which just creates obstacles for us. What if we could eliminate the nonsense we don't need, and create more room for useful things? Join us on this podcast where we discuss removing what we don't need, implementing beneficial changes to our minds, bodies and souls, to create a life of abundance and fulfillment.
Clean Your F*cking House B*tch
Ep. 94 - Consistency and Balance in Everyday Living
What if you could turn the tide on your resolutions and make lasting change beyond January? Join us as we share candid stories of discipline and perseverance, emphasizing how mental clarity and embracing discomfort can lead to truly satisfying life journeys. We dive into the art of maintaining consistency and acceptance, offering insights into avoiding overanalysis of negative emotions and honing in on what we can control. Discover how to push through initial hurdles and resist becoming another statistic of abandoned New Year goals, all while finding contentment without slipping into complacency.
Hello and welcome to Clean your Fucking House, bitch, with Nancy, kevin and Lou. In our program we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up? We'll show you how. Get ready to clean your fucking house what up, we're back did you miss us?
Speaker 3:we missed us we did we miss all of you too. We're gonna try and give this the old college tribe being consistent Right guys, right Of course, full dedication. Hope everybody's doing well. It's been a while. Um, we're finally able to kind of get our schedules aligned and not forget that we have a recording and hop on. Thankfully, nancy remembered like 10 minutes before we were scheduled, but we I think we can all agree we miss doing this. A lot's changed in our lives since we last uploaded an episode. I don't even know when we last recorded.
Speaker 1:I think it was like March or May, yeah, so almost a year, almost a year.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but we figured we'd come on and give ourselves a little shit for not being disciplined with the podcast. By talking about discipline and perseverance and reconnections, it's like weird.
Speaker 3:So I don't really remember what we would talk about in our own lives when we last recorded, but I can confidently say that there've been a lot of things that I've been doing in my life that I've been very consistent with and dedicated to since we last met um. That required quite a bit of discipline and I guess, just to start off like I'm in a really good spot, I feel like in my life everything is going pretty smooth. I've been really focusing on acceptance and I would say like now the majority of my days are pretty good. I wake up feeling good, I wake up feeling content, and you know, there's still those days that you're like, ah, not really feeling it for no particular reason, right, but it's funny.
Speaker 3:I caught myself driving to work the other day, or maybe it's a couple of weeks ago now, but I was feeling a little bit off, right, and normally, I guess, historically speaking, I would then begin to analyze, like why, you know, I went to bed early, I got a lot of sleep, I did my morning routine, all that stuff but then I started thinking like, does it really matter?
Speaker 3:Like the more I focus on it and give energy to it, the more it's going to expand and become my reality. So instead I was like I'm not even going to concentrate on it. It wasn't even a conscious thing either. I feel like I've been just doing that like kind of just going with the flow, getting the shit done during the day that I need to get done, concentrating on the things I have control over, and things have been going okay. So I realized I was doing this and it not even an intentional effort, but I I feel like it's just the consistency that I've found in my life through the discipline of taking action and executing on the things that have served me well so, if I'm hearing you correctly, it sounds like you have cleaned your fucking house.
Speaker 1:Am I right?
Speaker 3:it's, uh, it is. It feels pretty clean, but it's still, you know you got to stay on top of it, that's true right. Maintenance is key but the longer that you go without staying on top of it, I feel like the the larger that mountain would be to climb again. So you know it's not that things have to be perfect or I have to be perfect, but just consistent.
Speaker 2:You know what felt the nicest in all of that? Like I think when we were talking previously, it's been a while, right A few months and in the years of us having discussions, being content was something you would challenge your question, Like no one should be content. But actually now there's a different perspective on what content can feel like and that it's not so bad. That felt good to hear, yeah.
Speaker 3:No, I did it for you Not complacent.
Speaker 2:Right, you weren't complacent, but you're actually okay where you are.
Speaker 3:It's like an aware contentment, like I feel good. But I also recognize and identify that it's because of the efforts at least I contribute it to, the efforts I've put in not just that I woke up one day and was magically able to reconfigure my perception of life.
Speaker 1:It was through, like taking action and making changes and you know we're at that point in the month. For those who are listening and may not be listening to this close to when we recorded, it is january 23rd actually I'm gonna try to get shit like uploaded right away.
Speaker 3:So that's I mean.
Speaker 1:When somebody actually okay, that's great yeah, that's my commitment to the team more in line with the cleaning awesome. I bring that up because, as both of you I'm sure are very aware, this is around that time when folks start quitting the things that they resolve to do. The beginning of the year I think literally last friday or so is is informally referred to as Quitter's Day. It's like the second or third Friday of the month, whenever that is. Yeah, maybe it's a made-up thing. I just saw it in a commercial, I've heard it. It sounds like a real thing, yeah, but we know from studies that it is. I think 50% of people quit within the first two, three weeks and then 85% by the end of the month or two months. I mean, it drops quickly and it's interesting that we are reconnecting at this time and almost doing an anti-quit, if you will.
Speaker 3:Maybe that's the trick, that's the secret right there. Don't do it right away.
Speaker 1:Right away, wait until most people fail and then start quitting or having the motivation or what would I'm not sure what else to call it, but a leg up on not quitting, and that is getting that satisfaction. In other words, we oftentimes will use weight loss as an example only because it's probably one of the easiest ones to do, but if you take those baby steps one pound a day, five pounds a week, whatever the case may be that feeling of satisfaction just from moving toward the goal is a rush, an adrenaline rush that it helps to keep you going. And of course which is why we'll share baby steps If you go into it too quickly, too much, too fast, too whatever, I think that's in large part contributes to the quitting of but all that you've accomplished.
Speaker 2:Yes got to be sustainable in the moment, and then sustainable can change over time too.
Speaker 1:And it's like you're building up that level of energy or level of a rush you get from accomplishing things and, kevin, like what you shared, you made this change, you made that change and you've been winning for a while and what I'm hearing is the little things you've added to your tada list is helping you with that and congratulations, my friend.
Speaker 3:That is really awesome news, thanks dude, it's new for me, so I'm still getting you nice. But yeah, you, um, you mentioned a big word motivation. You kind of didn't want to mention the word. Right and through working with a lot of people this past year, I just really the focus on needing to be motivated to do something is just it pulls people back right, like saying that you have to feel a certain way to work towards something or just take action.
Speaker 3:And to me, that's where discipline comes in. Like I do feel like there's a balance, right. I don't think you have to continue to push and push and push and do this uncomfortable thing constantly. I think getting uncomfortable is very important, but it's just no matter how you feel go through with the thing, because when you do, you do get what you're talking about, which is that feeling of accomplishment which, in my opinion, is the greatest leading factor into motivation, right, feeling motivated, accomplishing things. So it's just pushing through, knowing what you want, and even if what you want ends up changing, that's okay. But you're making change in your life, you're building the neuropathy for change, so it's going to be easier to make adjustments as you pursue your current goal, the existing goal, a new goal. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Totally makes sense, and it builds momentum too, so it can evolve to whatever it is you don't want to get stuck on. It doesn't have to be static or written in stone. Just go with the flow. That's one of the things you said. Worked for you, too, was being fluid enough in the moments of change.
Speaker 3:And I feel like through time you build this mental fortitude to deal with adversity and knowing that you're putting in your full effort gives you confidence.
Speaker 3:Being able to be uncomfortable and live in this uncomfortable space makes you feel comfortable being uncomfortable. So now you're seeking opportunity, right like you're looking for more ways to kind of improve or push yourself, and it might not even have to be for something big. You might be on the right path and feeling good about it. Um, but you know, shit happens in life. Things get difficult so. So when you can identify what you have control over, which is you right and taking care of yourself when external stuff happens, I just feel like you process it in a completely different and, in my opinion, healthier way. You know it's not this devastating thing that overcomes you. It's like, you know, I've dealt with a lot of adversity. I've dealt with a lot of you know trauma situations that I've had to grieve through and process in a healthy way. It just doesn't seem like life is so overbearing, you know. It doesn't feel like there's this constant shadow that you're standing under all the time.
Speaker 2:It feels like it helps shift one's perspective right and so we don't have to take it on as the thing that's hard to do, that I don't like, and it's going to be hard and difficult every day, to this thing that I have the inner strength to deal with each day.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I think a lot of that is the confidence part too, because if you're putting yourself out there and you're getting uncomfortable, like whatever it is the thing that scares you a little bit or makes you, you know, a little anxious, you push through. You feel great afterwards, even if you might have made an ass out of yourself, or you feel like it could have gone better, like at least you did it, and then, if it feels like the right move, keep trying. You know, be dedicated, set a goal. I've been trying to set realistic goals with the people that I'm working with, like how much time do you have? What's on the list? What do you consider a top priority? You know how much time can you dedicate to this, dedicate to that, and it doesn't have to be huge, because if you're doing none of it now, even an hour a week is more than you're doing. That can be 52 hours in a year. Although I feel like you start at an hour a week, you're going to end up wanting to do more.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yes, right, sure.
Speaker 1:And more often than not, that that anxiety you might use the word anxiety boy how many times have I had heard people you know, ever since day one when I started working the word stress and anxiety, often used together, not just interchangeably, but normally turns out to be a non-issue.
Speaker 1:I think we overstress and are over-anxious about things, and sometimes it's important to understand that things change, change and where I'm going there is I'm at a point in my life where some of the things I may stress about now are based on cultural aspects or norms that existed many years ago and only because they were part of my life and my daily routine for so long. It's almost ingrained. So I almost will anticipate oh, this is the reaction I'm gonna to get, or the dialogue, the way the dialogue's going to go. When I have a conversation I'm like God, shit, that's not today's world. It's a lot different now, and I have to give credit to people that I work with in making that change themselves to not also be part of those old norms and to kind of, in other words, moving more toward a positive working environment and even positive living environment, if you will. Just things are not the same. So our anxieties are. They never turn out the way they are.
Speaker 3:You know are so extreme Most of the time. Bill, yeah, not as bad as.
Speaker 2:I think there is a word for that, fortune telling, fortune telling, and so it doesn't even have to be that we're looking backward at what we knew in the past, but we're predicting something that we have no evidence of. That it'll be that, yeah, so we're telling fortunes all the time.
Speaker 3:We do tell fortunes based on past experiences, though.
Speaker 2:Right, that too yeah.
Speaker 3:Which I think we can kind of shift our perspectives and our perception. And I really do feel and I'm not entirely sure what your experience was, lou I'm glad that it seems like it's shifted, relating to it in some way and and having a certain view of something or expecting certain things. I find I've found that a lot of that has been so dependent on me and like my inner environment and how I'm taking care of myself, because, if I'm not, I've noticed myself like really anticipating bad shit all the time. Right, and do you get to a point where you manifest it, yeah, so now it's like, because, if I'm not, I've noticed myself like really anticipating bad shit all the time and you get to a point where you manifest it, yeah, so now it's like shit's going to happen. I have full control majority of the time on myself and my response to something external, but then overall, just like I'm saying, like how I feel, like things are really going well and it.
Speaker 1:Maybe they are, maybe things have always been going well, but I just haven't really been looking for those things or a good thing happens, you celebrate it, you're done, but it doesn't stick with you that you just had that accomplishment. So you, you move on to the next and go oh, there's now the next hurdle, the next hurdle. It's almost like you're constantly climbing a mountain, for sure, which you know shit. Let's just reach a plateau and enjoy it for a while.
Speaker 2:Turn around and look at the view.
Speaker 3:Yeah, perfect. It's funny because I what was it? Was it this year? I don't remember if it was this year or last year. It might've been last year, but I remember it was the beginning of the year. How do I not know? That's weird, right, like how the fuck do I not know if it was this year or last year, whatever, but I think maybe both years. Let's just say, doing like a reflection exercise on my year, it must've been last year, cause this year I'm feeling really good about last year.
Speaker 3:So 2023, going into 2024, it wasn't really until I sat down. Like I sat down, I started writing down accomplishments because I wanted to see what goals I want to set for the coming year and I had accomplished way more than I thought. Once I really, really sat down and gave my myself time and space to look back and I feel like that could be a consistent thing. You know, it's a very, very busy world. We live very busy lives. We're always trying to, you know, look forward to the next step typically, and I think that celebrating what you've done again, that builds into your confidence and that creates that intrinsic motivation. Knowing like I've done all of this, I feel good. I want to keep on moving forward. See what else I can do. A year is a really long time, like it feels short, but you can get so much done in a year of time.
Speaker 1:A month is a long time. It goes back to just committing to do something. Something more is going to come out of it. Really are doing great things. You're humming along almost like at a clip. That is just strong. It feels like it flies by, but struggling with something, aspiring to move that in a more positive direction.
Speaker 3:Feeling like you're not attending Also, my fucking God it's like this damn week is dragging and I can't get shit done. I've found a piece in that, actually, because it really feels like it slows things down when you can find something that serves you well ultimately, but makes you feel uncomfortable almost every time. And a lot of the times you go to execute this thing or do this thing or whatever, half the time you don't really want to right, you want to stay comfortable and not go out and do it, but you keep on pushing through and it's like you build this momentum and this, this deal with being uncomfortable, like it's just, I don't know, it's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2:You have a higher comfort level in the difficult places. Yeah, what I thought you were, what I thought I was, where you were going, was in those moments like what lou was talking about, when all of a sudden you're like, oh, it's moving so slowly, what's happening?
Speaker 3:yeah, I was, I lost my train of thought. You're right, thank you for pulling me back.
Speaker 2:Oh, but so I might have to mention something because you can find yourself like you can give yourself permission oh shit, there's two hours left in the day, I can do x, y or z instead of being like, oh, it's three o'clock and I never have enough time and feeling that moment giving yourself permission is is a gift sometimes that's a good point.
Speaker 3:And then the other point I was trying to make, before I completely lost my train of thought, was that it can kind of slow time down for you, and I think that's one of the keys. We always talked about living in autopilot. So when you're in that uncomfortable situation or environment or whatever, you're very present. You know you're pretty focused, like even if it's because you're feeling a little bit anxious or uncomfortable or whatever. You're present Like Toastmasters, public speaking, going, doing that. Like how long does it take for a lot of people to get used to public speaking? Like every time they're there, like am I going to get called on or do I have to go up and do this Right? Like, but you're present for that hour that you're there. You're there, you're not worrying about this or that, like you're actually pulled into the present moment. So I feel like the more that you can get out and kind of get uncomfortable, um, and it forces you to just you can't be on autopilot because it's not a habit.
Speaker 2:Well, and I read an article that said exactly that, although they didn't say you had to get uncomfortable, it was about how to slow down 2025. And ultimately, what they're saying is that we do get in that routine, right, and we're doing the same old thing, and that same old thing is in our mind and so that's what we're connected to. I've done this. Now I need to move to that and everything's the same.
Speaker 2:You have to get outside, you have to insert other activities, you have to get outside, you have to insert other activities. You have to bring that mixture and balance. Balance I don't even like the word, I don't even know why it came out of my mouth but do something different and mix up your day and force time for things that aren't that same old routine. And then, all of a sudden, you do feel like oh, I mean, this is a crazy example, but when I go out on a Friday night, sometimes I'm done Friday and I'm happy to be in, but if I go out on a Friday night, the weekend seems longer because I've interrupted that whole routine and it feels like it gave me time from nowhere.
Speaker 3:We had a guest on a long time ago that was talking about switching up your morning routine or something like that, I believe, brushing, I'm sure, brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand or, if you don't normally make your bed, make your bed Kind of just switch it up because it forces you to like, oh, what am I doing? Really, be conscious and aware of what you're doing, and if you're being conscious and aware, typically you're being present also.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think when we're in a routine, sometimes it's it can slowly slip away. Where I'm going is I used to have such a rigid day, with workout at this time and breakfast at that time and shower at that, Like literally it was so structured and then I let one thing kind of slide a little bit and I can't remember exactly what it was. Oh, I'll skip shaving today, and most likely because of, say, being working from home, but I'll slit, I'll let up, won't shave today. All of a sudden, I may not have shaved two days. Or okay, well, you know, I'll let. I won't shave today. All of a sudden, I may not have shaved two days, or okay, well, you know, I may not shower today either. I can go a couple of days I'm working for.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, dude, you know Syria. And then and then, in a few days lose just bed rotting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then I'm like shit, I hope I don't get any clients because I'm going to be so ripe, forget it. But no, it's really just about as much as it's important to have that discipline. It is important to maintain that discipline, I guess, is sort of where I'm going. Like, it's easy to when one thing starts to slide, other things can start to slide and then all of a sudden the whole thing starts to slide.
Speaker 3:Well, is that kind of sliding back into habits?
Speaker 1:It sounds like it, or is it an indication that something should change, like you mentioned? Well, you know what? Maybe I should start brushing my teeth with my left hand, because I'm so used to the right hand that uh, I'm not completely sure I'm making any sense here, but it almost seems. Seems like sometimes being on that autopilot is in and of itself not a good thing.
Speaker 3:You ever try eating with your other hand or wiping your ass with your other hand?
Speaker 1:Not easy, not in the same motion.
Speaker 2:Thank you, oh my God.
Speaker 3:So let me ask you guys a question. This has all been awesome. I think we're a little rusty at least I am but the whole getting uncomfortable or switching things up thing like definitely makes a ton of sense and I'm a true believer in it. Yeah, but I also have gotten to a point where I believe in the routine in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2:Both are important, I think.
Speaker 3:And for me it's been the routine that was uncomfortable in the beginning, that I've developed and that I feel like really elevates me. Like for me it's a slow morning, so I get up real early, I hit the gym, I come home, I do my meditation, breathing exercises, cold shower, like I'm doing the same shit every morning and I love it. I go to bed early so that I can wake up energized and go do this stuff, because it just sets my day up so well, but a lot of it's the same thing every day. So maybe the distinction like so that our listeners are not confused is that if you have a routine of things that serve you well, maybe that could be the foundation for your day or something, like you mentioned balance Nancy said the word balance, but really like that could be what it is just finding a balance.
Speaker 1:That's actually an excellent observation is maybe, if there's those parts of our routine that aren't really serving us well, is what potentially could be a drag on the whole system. Case in point with our show we were humming along at a very routine-like clip with the day and times of our recordings, and life happens, it just is what it is. Life happens and we happen to miss a day here or there. All of a sudden, missing one week could turn into missing two weeks and then schedules change. Oh, we can't now do that. They were to go another day.
Speaker 1:And it's amazing how we, even though we've been still communicating, realize, holy shit, it's been nine months or eight months or whatever it was. And then going, God, we, you know, uh, we got to reestablish that. That routine, that part and it could be that you know what maybe the day or time is is a rub against the grain, for for at least one of us, that made it not so appealing. The balance is in uh-oh, this day is perfect, it works completely in this time, works completely well within my daily routine of when I work out what time and eating all this stuff. To then kind of put that system in harmony and balance and to kind of keep things humming along.
Speaker 3:Good point, because it's not always going to be perfect, right. But if you miss, like in our situation right, you miss a week can you make the next week, like just try to figure something out to connect and get it done? Um, this is one of those things, I think, for the three of us that serves the three of us very well, like, we love these conversations that we have. So I'm super happy to be back in front of both your faces. I'm with you.
Speaker 2:We're happy to have your face with us.
Speaker 3:Hey, thank you.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, and isn't it the case? It's one of those things where we just love doing this and sharing and, especially, many of us will get if not all of us feedback from some of our listeners. Sometimes it's just the going into it oh gosh, I got this work thing, or I got this or whatever, and it's just important to say you know what I got, to zone that stuff out. I have to not think about. This is recording time and I know once I get going, it's almost like working out, I'm going to love it, I'm going to feel great, I'm going to get that adrenaline rush, yep. So just let me hop into it and get going.
Speaker 2:Like we did today. We just said start the recording and we're here Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we did a lot of cleaning.
Speaker 3:We're going to be more consistent with this. If for no one else's benefit, the three of ours. Yeah, because I miss this and this is good and I enjoy this.
Speaker 1:And I know for those folks out there, we have some really great ideas on guests for future episodes. So I'm really looking forward to that as well, because so much going on that it's really awesome to hear stories from other people, wow. So all about reconnections and reflections and what are some of the other words? I don't know if we have alliteration here, discipline and motivation, words I don't know if we have alliteration here.
Speaker 2:Discipline and motivation, execution, execution, acceptance.
Speaker 1:Acceptance. Yes, and I think I've already used the word reconnection, but I'm going to say it again is reconnection of good friends with the enjoyment of being together and doing what we love, and this is what makes for me. I know and Kevin already shared, and Nancy as well, that for them as well, that we love this and we're so happy to be back. We hope you've enjoyed this episode and we look so much forward to being consistent with making many more. Bye for now.