What if you could harness the power of your mind to fuel your personal growth? Get ready for an insightful journey with us, your hosts, Nancy, Kevin, and Lou, as we delve into the transformative power of self-reflection, accomplishment celebration, and mindset management. We share our personal experiences and insight on the significance of embracing your achievements and adopting a positive, compassionate mindset during growth periods. Learn how we utilize visualization and accomplishment as key factors in setting and achieving our goals.
What if you could harness the power of your mind to fuel your personal growth? Get ready for an insightful journey with us, your hosts, Nancy, Kevin, and Lou, as we delve into the transformative power of self-reflection, accomplishment celebration, and mindset management. We share our personal experiences and insight on the significance of embracing your achievements and adopting a positive, compassionate mindset during growth periods. Learn how we utilize visualization and accomplishment as key factors in setting and achieving our goals.
Hello and welcome to Clean your Fucking House bitch with Nancy, kevin and Lou. In our program we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up? We'll show you how. Get ready to clean your fucking house.
Speaker 2:Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode. It's been a long time since we have gotten together to record and we're super excited. We couldn't be more excited to get back together, the three of us. We always enjoy each other's company and we have a lot of big ideas coming up. But for today, we were trying to figure out what we wanted to touch on and the idea of self-reflection came up, and I think it came up mostly because it's like nearing the end of the year and towards around this time we tend to look back on how this year went and then we look forward to next year. We are not going to be talking about resolutions, New Year's resolutions, right? I think we're collectively against those.
Speaker 3:We are.
Speaker 2:It got us to thinking like something that I've found very valuable in my life recently is looking at and identifying the accomplishments that I have made recently and in the past month. But then this year it's been a long but successful year for me as far as personal growth goes. So we're talking about reflection and we always talk in these recordings about how we think about the past. So often I'm like, well, if I'm thinking about the past all the time, I should be celebrating all of my accomplishments, right, but I don't. I find myself thinking about different things in the past. I'm like why do I think about things from my past that I'm not celebrating? Then I started thinking about the future.
Speaker 2:I'm like, well, when I think about the future, I think about change, right, I don't really look ahead and I'm like, oh, I can't wait for things to stay exactly the same. So there's a correlation of looking ahead and looking at change. I'm like, well, wait, when I look back on my life, what am I focusing on? And I'm thinking about the things that I wish I could change, but I can't. So I just I found it interesting that we are focused on change, but the way that we focus on change in our life matters.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Because that backward look is often a could have, should have or didn't and need to versus what you said, which is what did I accomplish recently? What have I done that I'm happy about, proud of, can build on.
Speaker 2:You know, what I find interesting too is like I've really made a conscious effort to focus on baby steps and more of like a holistic approach to my health and wellness in particular. But like emotional, spiritual, physical, and I've always been like a very like go big or go home type of mindset and I would always fail. You know air quotes for those that can't see me. But I look back and it's like, even when I made a goal for a week of getting to a class or the gym three times a week, but I made it too, it's like I started telling myself like, but I still made it twice, you know, instead of like well, I really fucked that one up, like I didn't make it that third time. So just the change in mindset as you make adjustments is more of like but I did it, like I.
Speaker 2:That was growth for me that week, you know, and then that made me feel more compelled to improve upon that the following week, and that was like the cadence that I would take is what did I do today or last week and what am I going to do this week or tomorrow, and just build on it a little bit. And sometimes you don't accomplish and sometimes you do, but like if you don't beat yourself up but continue having top mind awareness of what your goals are, I feel like it just takes the pressure off. I don't know. The word compassion kind of comes to mind in a way right.
Speaker 3:For sure. Yeah, we have to have it for ourselves, not just for others.
Speaker 1:As you were talking in your intro, kevin. It kind of brought up a couple of things for me how we look forward, how we look to the past and why, when we, how our brain works, looking forward, it's always about where you want to go, who you want to be, what you want to do, and oftentimes our brain, you know and we tell our listeners this is visualize yourself being there, doing it, accomplishing it, and that helps you move in that direction. It's the way the brain works. It's almost like when you put yourself like I am a millionaire, say, that increases your chances of actually getting there, because you're kind of living the life and living the dream and living the change.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:It's a manifestation, yeah, and it's an interesting neuroscience tidbit of how the brain works with that in mind, like it's not just Psychobabble and Mumbo Jumbo, it's a real scientific fact that that's how the brain sparks, and I thought of a few things. One is so much experience with this, because it's happened to me time and time again years ago is when you do accomplish something, it just puts you in a mindset of wanting to do more. It just feels good. You feel great, especially, say, in the workplace. I know like, oh, I have all of these things I wanted to check off. I checked off a bunch of them. Wow, that feels really good. Now I'm energized and motivated to wanna check off some more Now.
Speaker 1:That so looking at, like that to-do list of the things that I have on my list of things to get done for, say, the work day again as an example, I started creating something more in line with what you described as looking back, looking at our accomplishments, not looking at what we wanted to change, and regretting and all of those negative things. It's no. Let me look at what I did well, and I remember from one of my courses it was called a TADALIST. So you have your to-do list going forward and your to-do list looking backward and I thought, wow, that's a really great way of looking at it and that. But it again it also speaks to the power of the brain is I think we feel more energized and purposeful and ready to go into the next day with a high degree of motivation and energy when our to-do list is also checked off, not just our to-do list going forward.
Speaker 3:So I like what I'm doing, so with that, Lou, tell us what's on your to-do list. I don't know for today.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, okay, well to-do. Well, today was a work day for me, so there was a lot of work related things. But I will say my work day consists of a number of different tasks, some of them which and this is probably a good example, because it really did give me some good energy when I was able to check that off my to-do list and that is I'm a numbers person. I love numbers. I think all of our listeners who I've listened to our episodes know that.
Speaker 1:But when it comes to writing, I just dread it, I don't wanna do it. I probably should move to that next step of putting any kind of tasks that are related to writing early in my day, earlier in my day, so that when I do them and accomplish them, it probably will give me even more added energy to finish the day. But the bottom line is I got some writing related duties done that I needed to do, and that was, for me, just the biggest thing, because some of them I had been putting off for so long. I'm like, oh, I'm just so glad I finally got that thing done and it's just weird how that works.
Speaker 1:I might have a 30 hour numerical related project and a two hour writing related project and I'll jump into the numbers one, and it doesn't bother me that it may take 30 hours, but that two hours for that writing thing I'm like, oh my God, this is gonna take forever. I just never liked it. So that was my biggest to offer today. And the other stuff I won't share because it's so company specific jargon-ish that no one will probably even get it, except for my friends at work who are listening to my show. I know you're out there.
Speaker 3:And it doesn't matter if we get it. It's about you feeling like ta-da. It's the feeling that you get and the contagion that you're building, the contagiousness of it.
Speaker 1:But that's why we also talk about the importance of making a list, writing down both your goals, things you wanna do and I know, as Kevin shared in many of our past episodes is action-oriented goals. Not just say weight loss as a goal, but running every day for 30 minutes to lose or to you know would be the action thing associated with that. I write all of that down and it actually is a great feeling when I'm seeing all of my strike-throughs on the items that I've accomplished. Yeah and it. And I will say, when I have a list of, say, 30 things and there's only four with strike-through, I'm like, okay, but boy, not as gratifying as when you have about half of those or more. It's just again, the way the brain works.
Speaker 3:But at least look at how many you were checked off. No matter how many one keeps on their list, how many you checked off is the thing. And so back to what you said too, when Kevin was opening this episode. Like Kevin, you were reflecting on, I think you said, the last six months. So what are your two does? Give us some two does.
Speaker 2:Okay, put me on the spot, no problem. No, I gotta actually think it's late.
Speaker 3:You know, we don't just talk bullshit here, people. We do what we say, and so he must have had an accomplishment. If there's one, it counts, it's no matter how small.
Speaker 2:A few things came to mind as you guys were kind of going back and forth there. Most of my two does are, ironically, action-based goals. They involve getting to the gym, specifically jujitsu, in the morning. I've made some very healthy habits out of the meditation, breath work, cold water, exposure. Those are just like habitual now, not being on social media and a lot of career-based accomplishments that I've had. So some of those are more like bigger monthly quarterly projects. But still on my Tadah list, which I do like I like the Tadah idea.
Speaker 2:I did want to mention that, like Lu, as you were talking about your Tadah list. It's funny because you actually went into what I was gonna talk about a little bit, so I'll pull it full circle. But I was thinking I'm like well, how much of our Tadah list is based on our perspective? Because we can look at everything we did for a day and find nothing and I did want to get into that idea. Or we can look back and be like, well, there is a lot there, so a lot of it's about perspective and how we look at it.
Speaker 2:I was gonna ask you two for practical ideas and ways that people could start to identify some of those on their own if they may feel like they don't have a lot of accomplishments. You brought up writing Lu. I know that's going to come up, but I also wanted to say like, the more that we do something, the more that we create the neurology for it right and we build these habits. So the more that you're able to look back and identify these accomplishments and celebrate them for yourself, the better you're gonna get at doing just that. So what comes to mind for both of you? Practical things you can do to identify some of your accomplishments? You brought up writing Lu. Journaling is one. What else do you guys have?
Speaker 3:I'm gonna share the silliest thing that I saw yesterday and it struck me, so I'm gonna share it. But it's the term glimmer and whoever it's by unknown, so I don't know where this came from, but it says today I learned about the term called glimmer, which is the opposite of a trigger. Glimmers are those moments in your day that make you feel joy, happiness, peace or gratitude, and once you train your brain to be on the lookout for glimmers, they'll appear more often. And it was just like okay.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 3:That's the glimmer for me.
Speaker 2:That's a good point Like how often are we? I mean, I know I am like this for sure, but I might be having a good day, but I'm kind of on edge, prepared for something to drop or some bad, undesirable shit to happen. But I like that idea of when's the next blessing gonna come my way, when's the next good thing gonna happen?
Speaker 3:Yeah, be on the lookout.
Speaker 1:And I think because in some ways I mean, there's so much to unpack with this I was gonna say we are conditioned to, we are accustomed to, but oftentimes I don't really believe that because change is what we are about.
Speaker 1:So I'm like I don't wanna put any kind of excuse into something when it comes to exactly what you're sharing.
Speaker 1:What I mean by that is it seems like we maybe take for granted that our day is gonna go a certain way and we'll go smoothly, there won't be anything bad, and then, when something bad does happen, or something unexpected, a trigger were caught off guard and it causes a negative reaction. I don't think we allow ourselves to appreciate and enjoy a moment of positive emotion or a positive response when a glimmer happens because, again, using for lack of a better way to put it, we're conditioned to or accustomed to simply expecting those things to happen. And that's a shame because, yeah, I really love that concept. It's like, oh my goodness, when the little things happen that contribute to our lives every day, baby, stepwise, even in a good way. Take a moment and reflect on that, appreciate it, enjoy it and you know, in many ways I bet it would help to lessen the negative reaction or fallout that might occur if a trigger does happen later on down the road that day or later.
Speaker 3:You know, I think something that helps is because we're kind of talking about these things in general terms, like what makes us feel good or what gets in the way, and so to be really specific about what was that accomplishment in that day? Oh, I had a good day, what made it good, and then what was good about that? So we really it becomes tangible it's not just that I had a good day, because that just washes.
Speaker 2:Well, you can get even more granular with that idea, because what? What is internal and what is external, right? So, as we're all chatting here, my mind was going to a lot of external things, right, things that are happening for me, versus taking control and putting the power in my hands of doing things that I do have control over. That, I know, uplift me, to put me in the state of mind to look for those, those things in life, and sometimes I feel like we make them, like I know if we're looking for them and identifying them, we're more likely to notice and appreciate. But I think a lot can be said for prepping yourself for those right, like almost tuning into that frequency.
Speaker 2:So what serves you from the standpoint of if you're high anxiety, what can minimize or mitigate that anxiety a little bit for you? You know, and going through with that, I prefer doing things in the morning because I know once I get busy it's unlikely that I will pursue those things and, plus, it's easier for me to build a habit early in the morning, before I start my day, it's quiet, that's when I like to get it in. But how do you put yourself in that state? Like, what serves you? How's your diet, influencing it, how's your sleep, like. Those are things that we do have a large amount of control over not maybe not total control, depending on our circumstances, but we do have more control over that than we do the weather. Nor if someone hits you while you're driving home from work and then the insurance company you go through is jacking you around left and right. Now you haven't had your car in four months and you're paying out of pocket for a rental because no one will call you back Oddly specific.
Speaker 1:Motherfuckers.
Speaker 2:Pulling it out of thin air as an example. I'm sure someone out there listening to this is going through that exact same thing, you know.
Speaker 3:I'm sure they are, because they didn't just do this shit to you. They do it messed up. Someone else is going through it, but no, you have to choose. I mean, these things always cycle back to choice, you know, and acceptance. I came to mind when you were saying that as many people I've been working with right now are struggling with their exercise goals because it's cold. It's cold, I can't go out. I don't want to go out, it's too cold and that sounds horrible. That sounds very there's. No, there was no compassion in that. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Well, and especially because of the fact that a lot of folks did indoor exercise during lockdowns. It's not like you can't pop on a YouTube video and do some walking in place in front of the TV, come on.
Speaker 3:There's alternatives, right, lou, you're exactly right, there's alternatives. And it may just be too freaking cold to go outside. I get that. I don't really need to minimize that for anybody, but then does that mean that we just? Okay, then let's just eat and pack on a few for the winter? Yeah, do we want to choose an alternative? I guess?
Speaker 2:I will say, like, that feeling is very relatable, right, chicago sucks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no doubt.
Speaker 2:But when you set that goal and you actually do it, despite those odds of you not doing it, even if you plan to run, but you went out and walked in the cold, holy shit, like you feel so good about yourself. Have you done that? It's like the thing that I always would tell myself when I would go out and it's super cold and like a thousand times I've tried to do it and not gone with it. I'm like you know what? I'm probably 1% of people in the world that are pushing themselves that hard to like get out and do something right, because we get trapped in these comfort zones and then we have these excuses and it's so easy to just do what is familiar and so many people do that and we get caught in this bubble. So when you can push out of that, no matter what is your hurdle, that is awesome. Yeah, you know, you made it that day, in my opinion.
Speaker 3:It's so true, and I guess that comes with the self reflection. It comes back to what did I do, which lets us know? What can I do, which gives us something to build on.
Speaker 2:And once you get that momentum, it just maybe it doesn't become easier because you push yourself harder, but you just again you like you grow into someone else and you look back on who you were a year ago and you're like I can't, like these were all pipe dreams. I couldn't get myself to take the first step in this one thing. But look at me going now all the time, or doing this thing all the time, like it's just, it's awesome. And I think a huge hurdle for a lot of people is comparisons to others. So when you can really hone in on yourself and like focus on you and give yourself that, because I think many of us feel selfish when we put ourselves first in a lot of ways and you know my standpoint on it is if I don't take care of myself, I am no good for anybody else.
Speaker 2:So I have to put that time in and put that work in. And then you start to enjoy it and you're like hell, yeah, look at me doing shit.
Speaker 1:Well, and something you said early on, if not in the intro, was baby steps. So, in response to your question about how do we get there, how do we get motivated, how have you phrased it is start off small. We always talk about how we build those neural pathways in our brain that become habitual at some point, but they don't start off habitual, they start off as close to nothing. So you have to just move yourself there little by little, and exercise, arguably, is always at the top of the you know what? January 1st, that word I won't use, that we said we don't like to use list, and probably for that reason that it is something that I think a lot of folks don't enter into in the best way, meaning they'll dive into it, into exercise, thinking, oh, I'm going to spend an hour at the gym on January 1st, and maybe an hour and a half and every day after that, and I'll send two weeks later they quit.
Speaker 3:Not sustainable. Yeah, it's too big of a goal.
Speaker 1:Too big of a goal, overwhelming Spend first day. Even in the first day doesn't have to be January 1st. This is why we don't like it, folks. Make it tomorrow, make it now, make it as soon as you can. There isn't a magical start date. It's start change today. But if, for that particular type of change, take your exercise, outfit, clothes, shoes, whatever, and just put them at the end of the bed, that could be step one for some folks. That may need to be step one for some folks. Or walk to the front door. You may not get out the front door and walk in that cold weather, but at least walk to the front door and make it a habit. Little by little, as Kevin said, it becomes a habit, it sticks, and I like that idea, by the way, too, of having it early morning because, yeah, then it becomes first of all. Yeah, it does get tougher to say, well, I'll do it later on. It just, for the most part, never happens. Getting out of the way just really sets the stage. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:There's less time for excuses to get in the way In my case, but it would be. I'm not saying it is for others, but it would be for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think, as he also shared, it also sets you up to have an even better day. You're refreshed, you feel great, you've drank some water. What's the word Hydrate? Hydrate you know the word. You hydrated yourself. There it is.
Speaker 2:I think it probably looks different for everyone. What came to mind for me that I wanted to touch on is like for those that have been in the same situation where I have been of possibly repeating cycles for a very long time. I always find it more difficult to get out of those cycles the longer that they've been prolonged. So in the morning you mentioned laying out clothes for the gym. That's a change. That's a change to me. That's a win. Anything that you could do different than what you do on a daily basis, like you normally eat, like shit. Most of us know what eating like shit means, whatever it means for you. Incorporate something healthy or skip something you would normally eat, that's a win. That's change. While you're developing that neurology, it's changing you and you continue to build on that. I had two ideas and then I lost both. Now I gained one back. Now the other one is lost.
Speaker 3:Well, the narrow pathway won't break.
Speaker 2:Got it With the baby step thing. I think one of the important components of that is trying different things, but trying them long enough to see how you really feel, Because in the beginning a lot of the different actions you take will be uncomfortable. I feel like there's a period out Know how long, it is probably different for everyone, but there's a period of action where you try something multiple times and then your feelings about it may change as it becomes a bit more familiar, bit more habitual. The reason I thought of it for me was the cold showers. That shit sucked. It sucked, Nancy's, like no hell, no.
Speaker 3:It's not happening.
Speaker 2:When I would do it, though I would realize that I would feel like I would almost feel high afterwards, like my body going to hypothermia, but I would feel really good and calm and chill. I'd just do it a little bit more each day. Now, even if I don't feel like it, I do it, I manage it and then I feel great. I actually look forward to it a lot of the times now. But I had to build that relationship with it, you know, of going through the uncomfortable parts to get to the part where I'm like I enjoy this. This makes me feel good and it's worth it to me. Yeah, you know and it's. I think it's like that with a lot of things meditation like when you wake up you have a full schedule of shit to do at work and you're always behind, and it's like you wake up with all these thoughts and stuff like that's hard to do, so try different things.
Speaker 2:I was listening to a different podcast and this lady was talking about meditation and she said that she could never meditate. It was just too hard for her and so she started trying to do different breathing exercises and she specifically was doing the Wim Hof breathing. She said that is the thing that got her into being able to meditate is doing the breathing exercises. Sometimes one door opens another door, right. But I think the main thing is taking action and continuing to try something and making adjustments for you until you figure out what works for yourself. Those are my thoughts. Got them out. Ta-da, ta-da. There's so much.
Speaker 3:Oh, there's so much truth in that that there is this need to just keep exploring. Just keep exploring and find what works for you.
Speaker 1:Reflect on 2023 and check off those accomplishments. Make your Ta-da list before you start your to-do list for 2024. I guess that'd be my ending thought, nice, well, okay, that is our episode for today, folks. Hope you found it both educational, entertaining. Always, I'll pleasure to have you all listening and we look forward to you joining us on our next one. Bye for now. I'll see you next time.