Many of us know the importance of tiny steps to achieve a bigger goal or outcome. Life happens to all of us and can hinder the ease with which we're able to be consistent. Join us for a conversation on consistency in this episode.
Many of us know the importance of tiny steps to achieve a bigger goal or outcome. Life happens to all of us and can hinder the ease with which we're able to be consistent. Join us for a conversation on consistency in this episode.
Hello, and welcome to clean your fucking house bitch with Nancy, Kevin and Lou. In our program, we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up, we'll show you how to get ready to clean your fucking house.
Nancy:Today, we thought we would talk as always, we're talking about something that brings reflection self reflection between the three of us. And today we're thinking about consistencies and inconsistencies. And right now, the three of us have been inconsistent with each other. So recognizing what that may bring to our conversations, what that might bring from our conversations to our listeners, thinking about what how do you refine the guardrails and kind of get back on track when you feel like you have been inconsistent? And so really just connecting on what our own reality is currently and wanting to find some guardrails and get back to something consistent? How does that hit home with you to
Kevin Anderson:you know, what it makes me think of it think it makes me think of priorities? And I think that when you have a lot going on, you have a lot of growth happening, a lot of change in your life. I think at times, it's important to prioritize certain things over other things. I think the challenge is really identifying the things that do need to be prioritized. Hmm.
Nancy:Wow. Um, and I'll just name it like, I think, in a very kind way. Kevin did that for us today. And we were debating about availability this evening. I'm just sharing because I think this is real for others as well, I hope. And we were debating about our availability for this evening. And I was the one property that kind of lobbed it to, I can be neutral. And Kevin, it's your call. And he's like, I don't want to make the call.
Kevin Anderson:Well, you both came in neutral. And you left it up to me, because I was the last one to respond.
Nancy:Yeah. And that wasn't fair. And it wasn't, you know, we should have. So when you say priorities, and then identifying, you know what's important, it's exactly that, like we, between us need to make this a priority to be consistent about what it is and so choosing.
Kevin Anderson:Hmm. Yeah, it's been challenging. No, it's,
Lou:you know, it's interesting, though, and this isn't our particular case. Although I will say, I extend it to a lot of cases only because I've experienced this with other things. And that thing is as challenging as it may be, to sometimes gain traction with consistency. And otherwise want to dive into something, say it once you do it, it's an incredible feeling. You feel good. It's like working out. Oh my god, I gotta get up at five. Well, that was my thing. That's the time I chose that's because any other time just didn't work. But doing it was so hard. But once I gain traction with that consistency, all of a sudden it was not only was it now more enjoyable, easier to do, but it was also then hard not to do if that makes sense. Like I would literally wake up on my own before five my body clock got used to it I would get up and if I would end up for whatever reason sleeping a little pass it that felt uncomfortable. As opposed to the other way around. It's amazing how the body responds. It became
Nancy:a physical habit. It wasn't a met Yeah, we're off track but physically it was it was still have it within your body. Hmm. Yeah,
Lou:both makes sense. Just like training.
Nancy:Yeah, you guys know me. I'm always it works up right. I want to know the definition. And surprisingly, in looking up inconsistent, first, this of course it makes sense, right? It's in various with one's own principles or values. Makes perfect sense looking at consistent feeling like that's what we want to work towards. I would question that. So I want to share that I feel like maybe not. And maybe there's a reason for falling off track sometimes because consistent says, acting or done in the same way over time. That doesn't sound like that's always the best thing. So maybe falling off track has a positive intention and is allowing us to, to not be the same over time.
Kevin Anderson:What was the definition of change? What is it
Nancy:last year Hang on, act consistent, is an adjective acting or done in the same way over time?
Kevin Anderson:In the same way?
Lou:That is in case. I don't know if it's the way you say it, but it almost seems like it's boring or negative. You know, as opposed to acting that same over time? You know, I mean, it's sometimes it's in the deliver, but it kind of sounded boring when you said it. Yeah. Like, it's not a good thing.
Nancy:It felt like a question mark to me. And that really, honestly, it's an opportunity, maybe our inconsistency recently, is actually an opportunity.
Kevin Anderson:Well, the I think, a lot of its perception, because what we're looking at consistency, we're comparing to what we had before setup, right. But we have been consistent. Hold on. Sorry. Can you hear my dog barking? No. Perfect. Um, we have been consistently consistent and finding time when we can though, like we're still pushing forward. It's just in comparison to what we were doing before. It's different. Yeah. And I would argue that it's still consistent because it's still happening.
Nancy:Okay, that's not, yeah, I
Kevin Anderson:was thinking like the example of like, starting something new physically working out or some type of physical classes. It's like, you want to be consistent? What does that mean? I want to go like three or four times a week. But then what if you're like dealing with injury? Then it's like, okay, well, I need to get my body some rest, and recover. But then you get right back on it. So maybe that consistency or that level of consistency, consistency shifts, but you're still able to be consistent when you keep going back to it. Totally.
Lou:This example, is a unique one, because our consistency in delivering to our listeners may be different than our consistency in creating the content for our listeners. In other words, if we compiled five episodes in one week, and then loaded one a week over the next five weeks, it would be consistent to our listeners, but not so say consistent to us. So, you know, this one is kind of a unique example. But totally agree with Kevin that it sometimes you need to break the consistency cycle for a good reason. There's another argument that I find kind of fascinating is, and it goes right to your definition is that being consistent, sometimes conject seat fields are based on how you described, it may feel like it generates boredom or no growth, because you're just repeating over and over. And certainly diminishing utility with respect to say excitement, because it's always the same. Now, that also doesn't apply to our example, because our excitement comes from different topics. But working out would be a better example of say, something that can become more so then it begs a question, well, maybe being inconsistent or a different angle, and consistency is necessary to come to bring about some excitement and change.
Nancy:Yeah, Tony Grossman places where I know that that actually applies. And so that application could certainly apply here too. And you know, have either both of you guys sort of muscle confusion. Yeah, yes. Yeah. Right. And if you do just work the same muscles all the time, you're not really maximizing and strengthening the whole body. And ultimately, you might have an injury because you're leaving a part unattended and it could be weak and fail you and you could be over building, you know, one part and under building another and so rotating through and having variety, but still having maybe regular workout times is a better method. So to your point, Lou, what components are important to have consistency and what components should have variety and flexibility So we're giving ourselves
Lou:that's a good example. Yeah, certainly if you don't switch things up, when you work out, your body doesn't respond the same way. There's no, there's no growth.
Nancy:Yeah. I mean, when I look at synonyms, I feel more accepting of consistency in that it could be trustworthy or unfailing. I mean, I think we're, we're, we're unfailing to each other, we certainly have a trust with each other, and our intentions and what we want to contribute and publish, and in the way that we want to connect, but I think when it comes through, so I'm just rambling. But But I think when it comes through, we have the frequency has shifted. And we have the same comfort level with each other. But we're not diving in is quickly.
Kevin Anderson:Well, we don't see each other why. So we have a lot of life to catch up on. What am I do see each other? Right. Yeah.
Lou:So then that begs another question. That's going to be my phrase of the episode begs the question begs the question is, why is that? You know, oftentimes, when we start something new, we're so excited about it. We want to do it all the time on a regular basis, and can't wait till the next time kind of thing. Why would you think? Oh, you know, it almost sounds like, I'm not sure I want to do this tonight. But I think it's
Nancy:actually for valuable reasons. Like Kevin said, if if you're sick, or if you have an injury, you shouldn't like push through a workout, because you're likely to injure yourself further, and we're not going to get injured. But each of us has had different things going on where we've had to respect and support that for each other. And that's been part of. So it's not like you think, Oh, why haven't why haven't we been connected as often, but there are valuable reasons behind the scenes.
Kevin Anderson:Yeah, the reasons are probably different for all of us, right, like two of the three of us, became much busier. While Nancy, you are always pretty busy, right? Your schedule, misses popularity over there. Lou, and I became Mormon. But I think it's also like for me, you know, when we started this, I was not in a great spot. And I didn't have a lot going on. So this was the one one of the things that would provide me a level of satisfaction, and leave me feeling better going into it, right. So it was like a craving like, I want to do this because it's so rewarding. Not that talking with you guys isn't rewarding anymore. But now, I've been able to create more balance in my life in other areas. So that's one of the things I think, where it's like, this was the one thing that I really had before that I looked forward to. Now I have a lot of different things, including this in my life that I look forward to. So that's part of it. But then also part of it is that, you know, life gets busy, especially if you're a person in a mode of growth and trying to continue learning and growing. It's like you have to have almost like an action plan because things fill up. And some things are an absolute priority, where you can't not do them. And it's not a choice. And some things are just a want, like I want to do this thing. So you have to get those need based things done first. And then create some type of plan to be able to get all of your want based things accomplished as well. So it all just builds and hopefully, you know, most of our listeners out there have a lot going on in their lives, or they're considering changes that they want to make. And you know, it's a good point to be at work when you have you know, it's like a double edged sword. Because when you're when you don't have a lot going on. You're like, I'm fucking bored. I need to like create some stuff. And then when you're really really busy and you have a ton going on, you're like, I just wish I could relax. So against that balance that we're trying to find. For sure.
Nancy:For sure needs and wants. Yeah, which one? It is balance.
Kevin Anderson:But going back to like what Lou said with the consistency thing, like something not being as exciting. And I feel like I interpreted your message lose. It's maybe like kind of a negative thing, right? But at the same time, I'm thinking like, well, if I were to create a habit of waking up at 5am, to go walk on the treadmill and get creative and think of all these awesome ideas for my life and what I want to do, that becomes a habit like even if it's not as exciting. It's like a positive thing. So that's, you know, not something to Oh, it's not as exciting. I should To switch it up, if it's working for you, and it's keeping you healthy, and you're engaged with it, and it's still providing a level of, of passion and excitement for you. I think that's awesome. And I don't think we always have to be changing everything. I think that we need to be introspective enough to understand what's serving us and what's not. And continue to try and shift towards those things that do serve us very well. That's a good point
Lou:I have it, to me, is a point at which you're killing something without really thinking about it. It is either second nature, it's natural, it's just there. So like breathing. Like I don't, I wouldn't put a label like exciting or not exciting on something like breathing. It's just,
Kevin Anderson:it can be, you know what, though, I was literally gonna say the same thing. Like I do breathing exercises every morning. And it's like 10 to 15 minutes of my day where I am like the calmest. So you're taking something you have to do to survive the number one thing you need for survival. And you can even turn that into something that you look forward to
Nancy:the point, or breathwork is a tool to reduce levels of anxiety or an increased heart rate, right? So it can be used to bring a calm and reduce anxiety.
Kevin Anderson:And the longer I remain consistent with it word of the day, I feel like the better the effects are.
Nancy:Although then, like sets break that down, because like physical exercise, exertion, then you know, you're maximizing your lung capacity and working it a little harder for a period of time so that you can be level and if you do stay consistent, and you don't get those exertion periods, you could be weaker over time.
Kevin Anderson:Or you can continue pushing, pushing to that level. But it's raising the bar because now you're in your better cardiovascular shape. You're in better shape physically.
Lou:Yeah. Well, now we're getting to something that is really piquing my interest in that I immediately think of calculus, because now that consistency is consistent growth. First differential. So you're always growing, you're always climbing, it's like a sloped upward, upward slope curve. So there's consistent growth, which is, by definition more, so to speak, change.
Kevin Anderson:Yeah. There you go. I like the analogy of like, a car listening. Now, definitely not calculus. I know, I forget what it is. Lou, I think you brought it up before, but it's like a car moving, like idling. And it's always moving, and you can speed up, but you can't push the brakes, right. And you have to just choose the direction that you go. And ultimately, it would be nice for us to all be choosing growth, which isn't always the case. But if you do, it's, I think it's been vital to my successes, to not compare myself to others, but compare myself to who I was and what I did yesterday. Because then it's like, I just have to do a tiny bit more for me that I didn't do yesterday. And to me that's growth, or I have to learn one subject that I didn't know about yesterday. And to me, that's growth. And over time, then you get to that calculus equation. But I think we tend to compare ourselves to others, or we see some type of outcome goal that we want. A lot of it typically does have to do with others, right? That can throw us off I think, I think that can be demotivating in a lot of ways in a lot of circumstances. So if you could just focus like this is something I definitely want. Like it's not about anyone else, it's for me. And then what did I do today to work towards that goal? Okay, the next day, what did I do yesterday? What can I do a little bit more today, or even at the same level, at least you're working towards something.
Nancy:Literally, you make me think one of my favorite graphs that you will tie the two of you together because it's called The Power of tiny gains, and anyone can Google this and find it and you'll see the graph, but point 1% If you make a point, one shift daily, in a year's time, you'll have had if you want to be exact, it's like 36.5% growth, right? And I'm gonna call it 40 because I'm gonna round up, but who doesn't want 40% growth or change or shift in a year's time, and you think point 1% is not much daily, but actually, you are on an upward trajectory and just taking action every day towards something that's important to you will bring change.
Lou:That's very cool. Nancy, I thought of that story with the British Cycling coach who used that same concept. And I think when they, when I've read the story, they've used the phrase, something like aggregation of marginal gains or aggregation of tiny gains, something like that, but very much in line with what you said, and that, hopefully brings comfort to a lot of folks who think when they're starting something that just seems so overwhelming, oh, my God, my plan is to lose 200 pounds. My goal is to walk to do a marathon 26 miles. And my goal is just something humongous. Don't even look at it that way. Just think about those tiny games. My goal today is to walk for 10 minutes, half a mile, a goal is to simply lose half a pound for the next week. I mean, something very, very tiny. But, you know, point 1% change in your body weight every day, as you mentioned, and soon you'll be 40% Lighter by the end of the year. Yeah.
Kevin Anderson:What is that a long time a year? You know? No. Years fly by. But what is considered a tiny game, just for our listeners like?
Nancy:Well, for the formula we were using, we are referencing point 1% point
Kevin Anderson:point oh one? No.
Nancy:Point 1.1 times 365 is 36.
Lou:Point 5.01 would be 1%. And is point oh one? Well, one,
Nancy:one 1% is point two one, but I'm saying if we made a point one.
Kevin Anderson:So 10%. Okay, call it that.
Lou:No point. 1% is point oh one. See, folks, you've got to have a math major. And now in these conversations,
Nancy:because we're talking about point one, the math works with the decimal and the one times 365 days.
Lou:So raised to the 365 power 78 1.01. raise that to the 365 power. That's what,
Kevin Anderson:that's what I'm looking at to.
Lou:That's literally.
Kevin Anderson:So I was wondering, like what's considered a tiny gain? I think it depends. So this this thing here saying that it's comparing the 1.0 times 365 is 1.0. Not technically, right? Because it would be 365. But for the sake of this example, 1.01 to the 360/5 power, is 37.7. And the way that they define these is one is doing nothing at all. So I guess like just your baseline, right, your existing habits and everything. And the other one is small, consistent effort. Yeah. So it's not even like doing more than what you did the day before. You can. But it's just staying consistent
Nancy:with Yeah, even if you did the same amount you're saying even if you do the same amount every day, but keep doing it, right?
Kevin Anderson:Yep. Interesting.
Lou:One pin, like interest. It's compounding. So you know, a point 1% change, love something. One day is a different absolute number than a point 1% change, have a different number because of the compounding effect.
Nancy:And each place you're in each day like brings a different reflection and you reevaluate. You have different awareness to your needs, right? And your wants and your choosing. And I guess all of these things that we've named, recognizing what's the priority in the moment, choosing what's most important, having some traction with some form of repetition. Accepting whatever the environment is, having awareness to all of that and just continuing with forward motion in these tiny bits can be applied to anything in life where you feel like maybe you're bouncing off the guardrails. But maybe that bounce is still taking you a fraction of a step forward. Keep going, keep going. We're gonna keep going. We're going to continue to connect and come back and share new thoughts and ideas with y'all and we look forward to when you tune in again next