So many times in life we work towards some type of goal, or some long-term change, only to be brought back the normal lifestyle habits we started with. Why does this happen to us so easily? Well, it has everything to do with our engrained habits and paradigm. Without turning inward to adjust our internal paradigm, the external results will always tend to be the same. We must adjust to accept change with grow with it to make adjustments to our lives.
So many times in life we work towards some type of goal, or some long-term change, only to be brought back the normal lifestyle habits we started with. Why does this happen to us so easily? Well, it has everything to do with our engrained habits and paradigm. Without turning inward to adjust our internal paradigm, the external results will always tend to be the same. We must adjust to accept change with grow with it to make adjustments to our lives.
everybody welcome back. We were just having a discussion and kind of looking at some of our data and statistics on our podcast before we started this recording, and we noticed some correlation to certain episodes and wanted to touch on something that we thought might be of interest to our listeners. So we're going to talk about goals and Happy New Years, right, Nancy? Nancy just mentioned, she didn't want to like, talk about that too much. But it seemed to be there was a correlation with a lot of our episodes on personal development and growth right around, you know, right before New Year's and right after, and then, you know, maybe somewhat of a drop off with interest of those specific topics. So we wanted to kinda hit get back a little bit, focus on achievement, talking about achievement, and then also bring up the topic of the subconscious habits, what your paradigm is. The reason this all came up is because I've had a lot of success recently, myself with changing some habits. And I want to share as much information as possible, because it's probably the most consistent that I've been able to make, like, pretty large adjustments in my life and stick to it. And maybe Nancy, and Lou, you guys can help me break that down as to why I've had success because I've tried it. I've tried these things a million times in the past only to fail over and over and over again, which is a part of growth failure. But what I think I'm really feeling right now, and we can dive into that to help our listeners that may be struggling the same way that I have cycling over and over again. But I'm at a point now where I definitely feel that I have developed new habits, like the things that I have changed and adjusted in my life, the actions that I take, they just happen now. So just to go into a little bit of detail. My goals, I guess, consisted of drinking more water working out more. It's more detailed than this, but I'll just give the general idea eating healthy reading, which wasn't really a problem for me. And that was pretty much it. So I've been doing all of that for over a month now. And I think I'm almost going on week five, which is, you know, normally I'll have off days or cheat meals or whatever. And I've just gotten to a point now where like, if I go out to eat, oh, no drinking alcohol, which was a big one. That's a big one at all. So now I like don't even think about that. When I go out to eat from somewhere. Like I automatically order something that's healthier. That falls in line with my goals. It's not a struggle. Like I don't even have to think about it anymore. I wake up at 5am to get one of my workouts and and it's not even a big deal to me anymore. So
Nancy:let's break this. You said break it down. Let's break one of those down. Like when you were out to eat the last time or a recent time that you can think of and you chose something. What did you choose? And how did it make you feel?
Kevin Anderson:I got a salad. We went to you know, Portillo's
Lou:No. Oh, yeah. Love Portillo's.
Kevin Anderson:Yeah, so they have really good food. Pretty much everything I've ever had. There's really good. But what's in the salad? I don't remember was like a chop salad. So how
Nancy:would you bypass what would you normally have eaten it? Portillo's
Kevin Anderson:everything. Wow. Like,
Lou:I think they're like Chicago dogs. Burgers and Chicago dogs. It's more fast food ish. Kind of in a way, Nancy, but not really. Like five they do have. Yeah, I mean, it's not bad. It's not bad. It's
Kevin Anderson:amazing. Shout out what
Lou:is amazing. It's a staple. No, I love it. Believe me. I love it. What I'm saying is in terms of the healthy side, it's more on the sausage grinders, peppers and onions. Hot dogs burgers, they do have some pasta plates. But even you know the pasta plates aren't aren't necessarily all that healthy. I love pasta.
Nancy:Yeah. So we know what Kevin steered away from and leaned into on the other side. And there was goodness, like I was asking what's in the salad? Because sometimes we say salad and people maybe feel that's limited to, you know, greens of tomatoes, like what the heck is it
Kevin Anderson:and why it was like chicken in it, it was a quality salad, they have good salad to begin with.
Lou:And when you left, so it wasn't a doughnut salad. No. Or a Twinkie salad.
Nancy:Okay. And so I was just wanting to follow that too, then, then it felt easy to bypass the heavy stuff. It sounds like those other choices were pretty heavy pasta or Grindr or sausage dog and go to something that made you feel better and have more energy. But what what did you feel either when you walked out of the restaurant or the next morning? What? What did you feel?
Kevin Anderson:Um, I don't know, I just felt like everything was normal.
Lou:Did you immediately feel like less heavy because like Nancy's mentioning the heavier plates. Oftentimes, when I eat heavy, I feel heavy, which is ironic and a nice play on words, given what we're talking about. But you know, when you do have a salad, or something like, I feel more energetic myself, when I walk away from an experience like that.
Kevin Anderson:Honestly, the salad was probably less healthy than what I would have made at home.
Nancy:Okay, but it was more healthy than the other choices in front of you at the time. And that's where you deserve kudos for choosing and leaning into something that you need to feel better for after?
Kevin Anderson:Yeah, um, so I don't know. Yeah, it's just it was, that was probably the first time where I was like, I just kind of had this realization where I was like, This is not a struggle anymore. Like, normally, I would be going there. And I would be like, Man, you know, I'm just how, like, oh, I can have a cheat meal, it's just one. And then you do it. And I think we do need to have compassion and be lenient with our with ourselves. But at the same time, when I do that, it's always, it always turns into a downtrend. Like maybe I'll go a couple of weeks eating healthy, and then I'll have some shit. And then maybe I'll do another week. And then before I know it, I'm right back into the old habits. So I think a lot of it is just being very conscious and aware, at least in the beginning. And that's what we always talk about, right? Like you have certain habits, we have this paradigm that we live by. And we always tend to navigate right back to that, because that's what we're used to and habits are hard to break. And so I think it takes a lot of conscious awareness. And what's the word like intention, I think it takes a huge amount of intention to push through. But I think there's something special in the fact that if we can push through no matter how hard it is, for 30 days, and everyone's not the same, but if it is only 30 days, it could be less for some people, maybe a little bit more for some people, but then it becomes a part of what you're doing. Like I hadn't worked out in so long. And just it had been so long. And you know, a bunch of factors went into it variables and, you know, have it make sense in my mind on why I'm not working out, but I'm still feeling like an unhealthy piece of shit, right? And the longer that I went, the more it was like a daunting task to do anything. Like Well, I want to run but I know my shins are gonna hurt and my knees are gonna start hurting and I'm going to be breathing heavy and like it's not going to be enjoyable. But
Lou:you're practically half my age, your knees should not be hurting.
Kevin Anderson:I mean, if you don't, boy, if you don't run for a while and then you run. You're gonna hurt. Something's gonna hurt.
Lou:Okay, the camera must be very positive. You don't look like you're
Kevin Anderson:a big boy. And that way. I mean, I still weighed probably like 240.
Lou:Really? Yeah. Okay, well, you carry it. Well, you're well,
Kevin Anderson:thanks. Thanks, Lou. Always feel good about myself. But it was like, but
Lou:you don't want if Can I interject one second, and just share that you really hit the nail on the head with a couple of things that I think are very important. And things that we talk a lot about, which is moving out of our comfort zone is hard. It is a struggle. It does feel like you're trying to bust through a barrier, a wall that's moving towards you and you're trying to push it back kind of thing. That's hard. That is hard. We talk. We have talked about that in previous episodes. It's so just doing that is huge. To get past that first one, I think is huge. That is very big. Setting up and you mentioned almost like schedule 5am. You now get up to exercise making it a regular schedule. Bingo. That's part of it. Just having a schedule. And you know what, even with say a cheat meal. If you were to say only on Sundays, I'll have something that's not in my healthy diet. Nothing wrong with that at all. It's if we scheduling that and kind of putting it on a calendar and having it be something that we know is going to happen, and we can, you know, either look forward to it or know that we shouldn't do it and other days, I think is part of that battle as well.
Kevin Anderson:I think that's a big part of it. Because if we just allow ourselves to decide what we want to do, when we're about to do it, we're going to always go back to our old habits. So if you schedule something, you schedule it, you no matter what you have to push through, and do what you set out to do. Like, with working out, like I'm working out twice a day, and one of them has to be outdoors. And so when I started, you know, it's 20 degrees out, it sucks. It's raining, or it's snowing, but you have to go fucking do it. And when you do it, you do feel so much better having like, it's like, how many times have you thought about doing something uncomfortable or something where it's like every variable is getting tossed in, it's like making the super undesirable, but then you don't do it. So when you actually go through and get it done, you have a huge sense of accomplishment.
Nancy:Yeah, that's, that's like step three of a new paradigm. It's if you're recognizing how you feel after that, and you're proud of that accomplishment, and glad that you did it, no matter what, even though it was freaking cold out. You've you've gathered evidence to your new beliefs that this is my preferred action, and I can do it right and, and show the strength that you have, and then you can keep building on that.
Kevin Anderson:Well, I mean, it's been like a very profound experience, especially when I would go push through the really uncomfortable shit, because I would be out there and like, almost get a tear in my eye about how proud I was on myself for going out and doing stuff. And I'm like, it's just me, it's just me, and myself out here doing something that, you know, a few months ago, I would have thought I would never fucking do. Yeah. So you build this relationship with yourself to where you can start trusting yourself more, and you can push yourself a little bit harder. And you start to understand and like, I mean, everything has changed dramatically, like my stress levels have gone down. Like I'm more focused, I have more energy, I feel better, physically, I stretch a lot. So like my flexibility has increased like crazy. It's just like, I don't know, it's kind of everything, I feel like feeds itself. So you make one positive change, and you really push to make this thing work out for you. And then you add another thing and then you added another thing like I'm at a point now where if I'm just chillin, I'll start lifting weights or doing squats or something even even though I've done my workouts already. Like I'm just in this in the zones, demos
Lou:row will still have my my living room set up for my home workout from from our pandemic years. So fun. workout, I pop on the TV put on the YouTube hidden and off, I'm running, I have
Nancy:my weights right here by my chair can I can get that curls going. But Kevin, I think we want to we want to hit this topic again with you in 30 days, because let's be real, I It's awesome for you in these five weeks that you're feeling the connection that your motivation is expanding and your energy is increasing and you know it right, but 30 days is the minimum for most people, like it could take five times that, you know, we can't all move at the pace that you have, which is so cool. But let's talk again in 30 days and understand the whole mindset set shift that comes with that too. Right? So people aren't feeling like Oh, jesus Criminy I can we
Kevin Anderson:if we have that episode, and I'm here you know, I feed it if I'm not I relapse recording,
Nancy:be here peeps. So we're gonna hear the truth at the time. But I believe that it's going to be empowering still. Right? Differences.
Kevin Anderson:I don't I it's just I don't know, it's weird. Like, I've been at the point where I'm like, super motivated, I'm sick of feeling a certain way. And I'm like, I'm gonna make this fucking change. And I've done that a million times. And I've failed a million times to even make it this far. At this point, I'm thinking like, I'm not going to change these things, like these adjustments that I've made in my life. It's not like, like, my goal was to get to the beginning of May. So like, you know, two and a half months, working out eating healthy, no drinking, and that's still my goal right now. And so I'm inching closer to that. But I just have a feeling that when I get there, it's still gonna be like I don't I don't see a reason to change what I'm doing now.
Nancy:What's the carrot at the end of two and a half months?
Kevin Anderson:I want to so I'm going on a cruise in October I want to be I want to be in shape, be eating pasta with my shirt off by the pool and be spilling like French Alfredo on my chest. You know what I mean?
Lou:You know that, you know, I'm glad. I'm glad you asked that question answering. I'm glad you had that answer, Kevin, because that's an important point in two ways. One, you have something that's pushing you. There's something down the road that has caused you to make a change both in diet and movement, and other aspects of your life spending your free time reading, not spending time scrolling, you made a lot of changes. It's, and that's good. So having something that say pushing us some something down the road. And certainly now that we're thinking summer swimsuit season is a good motivator for a lot of people. It's also important to keep in mind that we may not have something specific down the road. So I suggest for those out there who are listening to this make something up. Normally, you know what, June 1, I am going on a cruise and I am going to be shirtless. I
Nancy:love that target. Live
Lou:in the crate something to create visualization. Yeah,
Nancy:I mean, I even do it with simple things of plans with friends or a dinner outing coming or whatever it is, like I know in a month or five weeks, I'm going to be doing this like right now. With some friends, we're talking about hiking in the pinnacles. And I'm not Pinnacle ready, I need to change some things. So that will be in May. And if I can focus on the things that will help me be feel more ready for that hiking excursion. I'm going to do that. And then after the pinnacles, the next whatever, it could be different.
Kevin Anderson:Yeah, I just want to fit you know, one of those European European swimsuits, you know, the little like
Lou:that the speedo those little sections.
Kevin Anderson:Were, as you were saying that they'll do like, although I have thought of that as being a goal. I don't think about that very often. That's good. So I know that we've all we've had discussions about like, macro level thinking, right? And it becomes a little bit overwhelming sometimes. So I was trying to like dissect what might have been different this time than previous times that I've tried to make adjustments in my life. And really, I another realization there have been many in the past month. But one is that I literally take it day by day. I think part of it was that I had implemented so much change in my life that for me to even accomplish the changes that I made, I had to focus so much on the present. And make sure like I do get up at five, I wasn't getting up at five, it fucking sucked. But I needed to get up at five in order to get my workout done. I travel a lot, I travel a lot for work last week, I had to get up even earlier to get both of my workouts in for the day because I was going to be flying later on. And I didn't think that once I landed, I would have time to work out. So I had to get both my workouts in. So it's like I knew what my schedule was the things I had to do. At those specific times, right a flight, you have to do it at the time that you're flying. The other things I had to do, I was able to manipulate my schedule around to make it work for myself. But it's always focusing focusing on what you have to do that day. And you do think big picture where you want to go what the ultimate goal is, but I really do think like keeping your head down and focusing on Okay, I have this hour workout that I'm going to do right now. Then after that, what are the other things that I have to do? Just today?
Nancy:I am hearing two things. I'm hearing that focus for that day what the day needs to be. But also it sounds like you have a program in mind that you've committed to. So like this two workouts a day and one being outdoors and whatever they are included. Is it is it some sort of a self Sign Up Program? Like I don't know, my daughter does one called 75 hard but it's five days. Oh, okay. It sounded familiar.
Kevin Anderson:I know. I was like tiptoeing around it. But yeah, that's what I'm doing.
Nancy:Okay. Well, it sounds like yep, that's the cool part of that is that you also just chose a thing that has the framework. And so that framework also helps you just do the thing for the day know that you'll do the next thing for the next day.
Kevin Anderson:You know what the main thing was with that like, because there was a I mean, obviously, there's a ton of options you could do there's like a 75 soft I think that you can do that's more lenient. But I was like reading and I was at the point I was like, at a very low point. I was like, I'm just fucking sick of feeling like this all the time. Okay, I'm just sick of it. I want it to end. And that just seemed like such a wide like, I don't know, I guess my intention was to make it so hard on myself and I don't know if this is normal or healthy or whatever, but I wanted to Make it so hard on myself that I didn't have time to think about anything that was bothering me. I wanted to just be all consumed and change and being uncomfortable, because feeling like shit every day and being stressed out and anxious or depressed or whatever, that's hard, that is uncomfortable. So is this. So it's like, I would rather choose to be uncomfortable than have been uncomfortable to be a result of poor decisions, and not be able to control that. At least if I'm working out. I can go harder. If I'm feeling sorry for myself, I can fucking push harder, until I stopped thinking about what I'm thinking about. Because always thoughts, right, always thoughts are looming down on us, like, the negative ones start coming, you can work hard enough or meditate, good enough, or whatever it is for you cold shower, breath, breathing exercises, you can do those enough to like, make your mind snap out of it. But you have to be aware of that. Like your
Lou:thoughts. It kind of reminds me of our self limiting beliefs Post recently on social media. You know, if we think those things, we become those things seriously. Yeah, no. So I applaud you for being aware, you know, having that awareness as shit, I just had a thought that I'm not good enough or whatever. And turning that around that. It seems so simple. And yet, it doesn't always happen in the moment for most folks. Later on down the road. They Damn I just spent the last month really wallowing in my own self pity and this and that, and not getting anything done that I wanted to do. And it's just as simple as that is becoming just aware, oh, I just choice said something negative. They're like I just said, How I wasted. Screw it. I'm here today, let me set something now. A schedule, is something make a change. It can be a tiny change, whatever, and move forward from there. But yeah, I mean, it all starts with the mind. I think we've said that ourselves over and over again, in so many ways when it comes to living our healthier life, both body and mind, it starts with the mind.
Nancy:Yeah, totally think so. And the mindfulness aspect of it. And Kevin, I don't want to, I don't want to dredge up the things that feel hard. But I think for the listeners, what would be cool is because you have felt this ability to push through and you recognize before that you've not gotten this far, what have been the freakin things that got in the way. Because I think that's what people also want to know is. Maybe they're not aware of their own things that are in the way but hearing from you what got in the way might help connect and push through.
Kevin Anderson:Like the things that popped up that made it even more difficult. weather, weather was a big one when you're trying to do outdoor workouts. Preparation, and if you don't prepare, like you're getting up at 5am to workout, if you go to bed late, you're gonna wake up tired. So try to get to bed early, get enough sleep. I mean, the negative the doubt, the self doubt the negative beliefs, you're not always going to feel motivated. So you cannot utilize the level of motivation that you feel is a gauge as to whether or not you're going to do it, it has to not be an option. And I just want to clarify to like this whole thing. This is not me like patting myself on the back either like I am proud of myself because I've I've stuck with something better than I have in a very, very long time. But more I want to dissect it so that I can help other people that might have the same struggles year after year after year like I have. And yeah, I mean, it could still turn out to be a failure. But at least at this moment, this present moment that I'm in right now. I've succeeded up to this point,
Nancy:boom. And I love what you've had last. I mean all of that I'm going to repeat because it was well worth it. The things that get in the way can be weather can be purposed can be scheduling can be energy, scheduling, sleep, doubt, but work, that whole thing about not waiting for the motivation, but choosing what you know you want to do, and just doing what you chose that that's work. That's work. I know, that play, but
Kevin Anderson:that's the main aspect of changing your life or your paradigm, or your habits or your subconscious is going through the motions almost right. Like it doesn't have to be perfect. You just got to get out there. So if you set a goal for yourself or like working out, you get to the gym like we've talked about. We've all probably gone to the gym and just walked on a treadmill or something, but we got there, right. We're going through the motions were created every time we do something different than what we normally do. We're changing things in our body Right. So we just have to continue to do those things. And like, I'm not always super hard on myself, like, I go, I do it, sometimes it is a walk, my legs are really fucking sore. I'm not going to push to injure myself, but I'm out there. And that's the biggest thing. And then once that all becomes habit, and it's good, then you can push if you want to, but at least just getting, getting out there and doing what you know, you need to do, regardless of how you feel about it at the time. Then,
Lou:boom, you know, and I'd like to bring up again, because I brought it up earlier that the importance of what you mentioned, scheduling, writing things down, you know, when, from the day we're born, our schedule is written for us. When we're kids, by our parents,
Kevin Anderson:is this like, like, is this a spiritual thing like God right that
Lou:at all. You know, we have a certain school schedule, we have a college schedule, we have, you know, deadlines are set for us. Everything is set for us. And we stick to it for reasons, belief that what we have to do when we're like, okay, in order to succeed in life, these are the things that I was told I need to do. And that issue aside because there's probably a whole argument around whether or not that's good or bad, but that issue aside, what happens after college, when we enter the workforce, then our schedule is determined by our employer, for the most part, our work schedule, you know, we our personal schedule, we can really work on that. But let's say we hit a bump in the road where we're fired, we're laid off, we're not, we're not working for a little while, we decided to start our own business, our life really can turn upside down. Because now who's making our schedule? Somebody who really has not had experience with making schedules because they never had to ourselves. Creating that schedule is not hard. But boy, is it important because if you don't, what happens you'll fall into that cycle, like you've had Kevin where you're not getting stuff done that you want, you're feeling like crap, you're having those, the self doubt, and other fears or negative thinking coming across. I mean it it really screws screws with us. And that's what I think the journaling, whether it's gratitude journaling, any kind of journaling, you're writing stuff down goals, writing stuff down, planning, writing stuff down. But having that daily schedule, literally even on my own Google Calendar, I'll put 5am workout 6pm dinner, I literally have entries for when I eat and stuff like that, because I just think it helps to stick to a schedule, you know, is it perfect? Of course not. And like you said, even at 5am, if I don't feel like I want to get up and go, I will push myself. But if I'm really not feeling like man, I just can't work out, I'll go there and I'll sit in the damn in the on the damn bicycle. And pedal mindlessly, it doesn't even have to be a sweaty workout, it's just doing something. But doing it is, you know, you got to like you said push through the struggle. Because the wider that gap is something we talked about, was it last week, week before, the wider that gap is between where you're at now, how you're thinking about where you're at now. And where you want to go, who you want to be what you want to become, the wider that is, the more that stress piles on, the more that negative thinking creeps in. It's like sticking in that comfort zone is deadly.
Kevin Anderson:You know what came to mind for me when you were talking about like the scheduling and everything it's like, okay, when we do get to a point where we are scheduling our own stuff. I feel like we're much more likely to shift or adjust the things we scheduled for ourselves versus what we have to come like if we have to come through for other people or a job or something. Right. So it's like, Should we be prioritizing our stuff more or holding like holding ourselves accountable? Somehow, because when it's just you and yourself, it's easy to say okay, I'm not going to do it. And then who's going to come down on you if you don't, nobody can only cares if you go to your workout, except you. So maybe if you do that enough like and disappoint yourself enough, then you start to battle with yourself mentally and emotionally without even realizing it perhaps because you're disappointed in you in
Lou:there. And that's why a lot of people actually prefer to have a support system. What I do right now, with my own business, in the health and wellness space is the key. The foundation is the live aspect of support holding hands. I've gotten so much feedback from people and we've seen In this and we've heard it over and over again, the whole New Year's thing, you're often running so great, you know, New Year's Day. And then the end of the month rolls around January, beginning of February, all of a sudden, you start pooping out because a lot of people go edit themselves, which a lot of people can do. But for whatever reason, a lot of people can't. And they just want somebody to help push them along. So when accountability partner is so important, doesn't have to be something to pay for. You simply have a friend that can text you at 5am have that phone on, have it buzz, wake up Sleepyhead time for that workout. I mean, it really could be something simple. But having, you know, self accountability is key. Certainly it is necessary. But you know what, to maybe help build that up have a external accountability partner. In the meantime.
Nancy:Yeah. And you may, you may not have a person but tracking a connection in some form. At one time, I was talking with a coach and an athletic coach, and he's like, that the workouts aren't real. If they're not tracked, the progress isn't real, if we don't know what the progress is, so some form of tracking and that could be a checkmark on the calendar that you did what you needed to do that day. But if you don't have a, a person, maybe you have a way of just tracking yourself what you've completed.
Kevin Anderson:You know, that's true. So I'd like to bring up I don't know, what do you have? Lou? I don't mean to interrupt you.
Lou:Oh, no, no, I was just gonna say self tracking is key to you know what I've just a very quick statement because I I want to hear more from you, Kevin, because it's your story is fascinating is in this day and age, though with dot coms apps, technology, there's still a shortcoming. There's there's something missing in terms of a human connection, because I find for myself having a live person, a coach, tell me, come on Lou, we can do 10 More, versus an app, you know, buzzing telling me to it? It's, it's helpful, but I wouldn't overly rely on it. I don't think it's, it's for everyone. But it's an additional tool, let's put it that way. But don't become overly reliant on the, on the digital part.
Nancy:And actually, your inner self is what you're saying?
Lou:Well, I just think a human connection was for me. And here again, this was my experience. And what I've heard from other people seems to be more, more helpful. Cool, you know, yeah, just want to throw that out there that gives
Nancy:you power, you need that empowerment, and you get it from another human? Well, I think when we
Lou:hear and maybe it gets back to our childhood, when we hear from our parents, oh, you disappointed me when you didn't get that A or whatever the case may be as an example, that is more powerful than reading a text from some program that says you didn't do your 10 Push ups today. Okay, yeah, whatever, off, you know, hit the button. You're hearing it from a human. Having that kind of accountability is just different. And I think more helpful. Okay.
Nancy:I mean, I will admit, my mind, any form of tracking was absolutely accomplishment. Oh, I agree word to whatever degree right. And so it kind of hurts my heart a little bit. You're like, that's the memories that come is you didn't achieve enough. But that's real for people lose. So thank you for being real. Right, that you didn't achieve enough. It's all just about? I did I put my left foot in front of my right, check?
Lou:Yes, sir. And maybe I think convey that clearly. I think I think the digital world and Technology is wonderful. And I And it's certainly is helpful and useful. But maybe if we don't rely on it 100% Say, and that lose track or lose sight of those things that are so also helpful and important. But I Yeah, so we're on the same page. I think I just didn't explain myself as clearly maybe. Okay, sorry, Kevin. Back to you.
Kevin Anderson:Now, I just wanted to share something that actually just happened. Like very recently, and so I am very big in the golf. Like I golf a lot. I read books, I watch videos and all this shit. I decided and I, like recently had gotten better than I had been in, like ever, right? And I like I like golf, because I feel like it's very similar to life, where it's not, you know, you don't have to hit every shot perfect and you're gonna hit shitty shots or there's gonna be wind or the weather is gonna suck or something, right? Something can affect your shot. But then you have to focus on the next one. And if you allow yourself to get in your own head, you're not going to perform well. So I think there's a lot of a lot of different, like correlations between life and how life operates and that and the sport of golf. I've decided recently to like get my first coach ever and do lessons and And keep in mind, I had been doing the best I had ever done. And I was like, Alright, this is just going to elevate me more. So I had the lesson. And it was recent. And I had been, he gave me some exercises to do at home different stuff movements. And I've been going to the range to try to incorporate what I was trying to adjust based on his recommendation. And I am doing fucking worse than I have done in so long. And it's like I can see at this point, because I would hit a shitty shot, I would go fucking show. And I'm thinking like this guy, fuck me up, I am hurt, like, but then I'm thinking, I'm like these, this is coming from a professional, you know, PGA certified, trainer. He's seeing things that he knows if I fix can improve consistency and efficiency. And I'm just it's so foreign to me and my body. But I saw I could see like wanting to give up and be like, I'm not doing any more lessons. This guy fucked me up. I'm all jacked my games way off now. But it's like, no, like, this is a learning lesson. Like I have to push through this, even though it's pissing me off. And I'm feeling like I'm doing shittier than I have in years. This is necessary, I have to push through it. I was having that thought actually, today, I was like, I suck. I'm fucking he just everything's messed up. I'm overthinking everything. But it's necessary. And I know that if I stick with it and keep doing it, I'm going to be better than I was beforehand. So I think there's a valuable lesson in that where it's like, it is uncomfortable. You know, you start going, and you see yourself improving and improving consistently. It's like, it's so easy to go, you're pumped up, you're like, Oh, I'm gonna do better this time. Last time, maybe you do. Maybe you don't. But you know, you're on that trajectory. But then when you start trying to incorporate some change that you know, is necessary, but it's slowing you down a little bit. What do you do? Do you give up? Or do you push through knowing like, there's very little sense of accomplishment right now for me. I'm not feeling it. It's not exciting. But I know it will be in the future.
Unknown:Push through.
Lou:I kind of have mixed feelings on that just as a as a, as a thought I, in the, in the sports world. Sometimes you hear stories of folks who become professional athletes in their sport. You know, we hear about them because they're in the news. And they're doing well who have unusual techniques or techniques they learned, not according to the pros, and they, and they do very well. I mean, those stories are rare, but they do very well. And that always made me wonder, Well wait a minute, they didn't learn it. The the way that 99% of every other athlete in their sport has learned, which a lot of them do very well as well. So I'm always kind of torn like, Well, wait a minute, is it okay to perfect your own method? If it's really working well for you? Or is it
Kevin Anderson:there is a specific situation what I'm doing is way wrong. Like if I do a slow motion, myself, it's definitely not a desirable outcome. But I do think that and that was a big thing for me and why why I held off on lessons for so long is because like, everybody's body is different. Everyone's mechanics are going to be a little bit different. Like there's no perfect golf swing, they say. So I do think that there's definitely value in that idea that it's it doesn't have to be perfect. In this scenario I absolutely am doing there is a wrong one even though it was working for me, it would have it will eventually cap me at what I can do performance wise because I'm doing certain things that are limiting my outcome. So I have to adjust those.
Nancy:Both you guys are acknowledging that what's working for you is trusting your inner self. Like for Lou, you might be like I'm getting a good swing maybe your score when you play nine or 18 holes is like respectable and you're playing in a way that change making a change wouldn't be the right or necessary. And Kevin's like I thought I was hot shit and I realize I'm not and I've got to fix it but he's listening to ease trusting his inner self so you both are saying the same thing from that perspective.
Lou:But I'm not surprised that it is difficult and a challenge your body is so used to swinging a certain way and moving a certain way that you're trying to do it a different way you got to be like What the fuck is going on here? I can't do this like
Kevin Anderson:and it's funny because you try to implement something that you think you're doing until you video yourself and you're like I'm doing that same fucking thing again, like really focusing on not doing it and then I'm doing it I'm like what the hell? The power
Lou:took me a while to develop a an okay tennis serve, but boy it to me That was one of the hardest friggin things to do. In the sports world, no less. I mean, I don't play a lot of different sports, but I played basketball played baseball played a couple. And to me a damn friggin tennis serve was the hardest thing I could at least master as best as I could, even though I wasn't good. But you know what I mean?
Nancy:Like, why are those getting this? What the hell? If I was listening to the three of us, I would have never, you know, thought of Kevin playing golf and Lou playing tennis. So this is making me laugh today. It's like, who are we?
Lou:I know what Kevin said he took up golf on my world. Right? You go boy,
Nancy:what I like from all of it. And so here's what the key things that make this shift in whatever we choose to do possible is belief. Believing we can trusting in ourself focusing on the actions, not the end result and then feeling the energy that comes from it. So what we're getting from trying to make a change is needing to rely on those things. Belief, trust, focus and energy. We're calling it a wrap that pauses a wrap.
Lou:Oh, we need a bye for now. Kind of in there. Yeah. Great way to summarize, Nancy. Excellent. And I hope you enjoyed this episode, folks. This is really entertaining. Not just I think it was for us. As Nancy mentioned, we learned a couple of new things about each other. This is awesome. So thank you again for tuning in. I look forward to having you join us on our next episode. Bye for now.