We're almost there people! Soon to be entering the time of the year with the warmer weather and sunlight. Going through Winter can be stressful for many. So many of us end up feeling the effects of lengthened periods of darkness, colder temperatures, and more inclement weather. We tend to stay indoors more often and move around less. As we exit this time of year, it's a great time to prepare, create goals, and be excited for what is to come.
CYFHB:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cyfhb
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Email: cyfhbpodcast@gmail.com
We're almost there people! Soon to be entering the time of the year with the warmer weather and sunlight. Going through Winter can be stressful for many. So many of us end up feeling the effects of lengthened periods of darkness, colder temperatures, and more inclement weather. We tend to stay indoors more often and move around less. As we exit this time of year, it's a great time to prepare, create goals, and be excited for what is to come.
CYFHB:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cyfhb
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/c_y_f_h_b/
Email: cyfhbpodcast@gmail.com
Hello and welcome to clean your fucking house bitch with Nancy, Kevin and Lou. In our program, we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up? We'll show you how to get ready to clean your fucking house Hello, everyone, welcome back to another amazing episode of clean your fucking house bitch. So glad that you are with us today. Kevin and Nancy both laughing at me. You can't see it, folks. You know, we can see if your video your fingers weren't laughing at me most
Unknown:the number
Lou:as as we're preparing to record this episode, I'm doing a little wind down with the you know, what is it action? 54321. So I had my fingers go in and they're both laughing at me.
Unknown:They do in Hollywood direction. They started at one and one up to five and your mouth said
Lou:Oh, right. I want it 54321 Not 12345. Okay.
Unknown:To do actually.
Lou:Well, that brings me to the topic of today's discussion is what's that meaning? No, that what's that? That syndrome or that thing that folks have when they get things backwards? What does that call dyslexia? I have no, I don't know a lot about dyslexia. I have no clue other than what it's about. But no, folks, we're not going to talk about dyslexia. But although you know what we are at an interesting point in the on the calendar, I guess I'll call it we today are recording February 28. The end of the second month, this is more or less, I guess I'll say middle to near the end of of winter was kind of beginning to come out of it. We have what another couple of weeks to three weeks before spring supposedly starts. Still a little chilly, a little cold. And a lot of weird weather going on around the country. This reminded us of our episode, a series of episodes we did a few years back on sad seasonal affective disorder. We talked about it from the perspective of when it begins at the beginning of winter at the beginning of the season. We thought we'd touch upon Okay, now that hopefully all of you awesome listeners out there have taken advantage of some of the thoughts and tips and tools and things that we shared about how to deal with sad. How do we as we're coming out of it, what's the next step the next season? what's around the corner? Something should be worried there. Right?
Nancy:Because right now, yeah, many people are feeling like another rainstorm, more freezing temperatures. What do we do with the snow? Where's the rain? The wind, the tornadoes? I think people are like, done up to up to their eyeballs with enough.
Lou:That's a good point. That's just life. Oh my god, how much more can I take?
Unknown:Just every day? It's different shit, isn't it? Like, just constant something going on?
Nancy:But the key is, how do you deal or the question because I don't know if we hold any keys. But the question is, how do you deal with that? How do we deal?
Lou:Wine? Is something like just hanging in there sufficient?
Nancy:No, that brings to mind like wanting to say a few. Yeah, exactly. thing in there. Well, that's
Unknown:like stagnation, right? So just try. I mean, I think there are times where you are kind of forced to have to try to wait things out knowing things will get better. But you should still be taking action. Right? Well, I
Nancy:mean, I think you have to you right? You have to find that ability to accept that fact. But you don't want to hear it from others.
Unknown:Well, good for the listeners that tuned in, because we're about to tell you all about it. I mean, what came to mind for me when you were talking Lou with that awesome intro, probably the best intro that you've done. But it was kind of just maybe getting back to the basics of what you know serves you as an individual if you've gotten that far to find out what serves you. So like I was telling you guys what I was going through recently, a little bit right, quick email, like shit was getting really, really difficult for me and I was becoming very overwhelming and it was not just one or two things, but it was just a ton of unrelated circumstances and events that mentally I was combining into just In a shitty moment in my life or moments, right long moments long moment, and it was just I just got fed up with it. And I was like, fuck it, and started just taking better care of myself and eating better working out. And I feel just so much different, like my stressors are still there, but they're not impacting me nearly as strongly as they were, I just feel much more, much more able to flow and roll with the punches that come because I don't think it's realistic to be able to set your life up in a way where you'll have nothing happened to you. But if you can get yourself in a good space, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and continue working on yourself and continue strengthening that foundation, I think no matter what comes out, you you're you're much more inclined to deal with it in a positive way.
Nancy:Yeah, but what you might not feel like you're in a better space when you start. But what you were saying Kevin is really recognizing what's in your circle of control. And taking care of that. That other stuff is out there and impacts us and influences us, it can be frustrating. But if we can't control it, we have to leave it out there and do what we can.
Unknown:You know what's interesting, though, normally, because you both know how I kind of like analyze everything right? to a fault, really, there was no specific thing that I could pinpoint, that was putting me in that state of mind or that emotional state. There wasn't like one thing, I was like, oh, I should change that. So I think that brings about a different layer of kind of like a different obstacle for those that may not be feeling like they're doing really well or living a fulfilled life. But everything like they know, on the outside, everything looks great, right? Like, like life looks great for that person. But they're not feeling it for some reason. So that can be difficult, because you don't really have a there's no definitive reason or thing. So it's almost like you have to trust the process of what, what are you not doing that, you know, you should be whether that's meditation, eating while working out, sleeping, enough, gratitude, practice journaling.
Lou:And when things feel overwhelming, which I can completely relate in a way where I have not just one, not just 10, that's 100, but it feels like 1000 things on a list that's in my head, that I need to get done to tend to of course, it can impact sleep, it can impact diet, it can impact our physical fitness programs, etc. There's so many impacts there, I always get back to a few things, one, write it down, write it down, write it down, I for so long, I used to use to operate through those lists in my head. The minute I simply write them down, even without doing them, just the process of writing them down and seeing them on a list. It's almost feels like it takes that burden out of my head of having to remember, and they're there and I'm like, Okay, who I got something now that I can look at without expending a lot of energy, remembering all the things I have to do. And you know what, and then let me take a break. I just did something and that something is better than nothing. And let me almost like celebrate it. Well, yeah, compliment me now. It's an accomplishment. And I think the small accomplishments when we're feeling very overwhelmed, are important.
Unknown:And Alyssa is also like, dig ourselves out. A list is tangible, it's physical, it's right in front of you, right? Whereas thoughts, what are they? So they're just circling around, and you'll get them out. And now it's something physical, like, these are the things I have to do. And again, it
Nancy:takes a lot of energy to remember them. Yeah, research will tell you make the list, it clears. The first thing to do for mental clutter is to write it down whatever it is all the thoughts in your head. It might not be a to do list for somebody else. It might just be the stuff that's rolling around in their head.
Lou:That's a good point. It could be related to goals. It could be related to ideas, anything, just get them all out.
Nancy:It could be worries, it could be like like, I was gonna say who and this person wouldn't be happy with me if I did, but this morning was telling me that they imagine all the worst case scenarios. It could be all the worst case scenarios in your head. Just write it down. There's smaller ones you do let it out.
Unknown:Yeah, that's interesting.
Lou:And then what comes after making that list. I mean, there's and that with that little bit of a small pause and celebrating that at least I have this list now take a break, come back to with separated maybe into those piles. These are things related to my goals, these are things related to maybe work, finances, whatever related to ideas, I want to start something new, a new hobby, whatever, kind of separate them into those different piles of we may be related to our wheel of life, perhaps things that kind of pertain to different aspects of our life. And then, and you know, and again, I feel that that's a huge undertaking right there. The words right after that separation exercise, take a break, and just celebrate, okay, now I got at least all of that stuff not just thrown onto paper, now I have a categorize or organize a little bit better.
Unknown:You ever write stuff down, like not not just a list for like a journal entry, or just if you're writing to get your thoughts out, or like a gratitude journal, or poetry or whatever, and go back and read it like months later, or a year or years later. And you're like, holy shit, like, I don't remember this coming out of my brain. And I don't even like it's something that it almost feels surreal. Like, it might not even feel like something that you could compose mentally and write down. Have you ever had that experience? I don't go
Nancy:back. It could be. Yeah, no, the writing is. So it's the release that's needed. And
Unknown:I don't go back. And then you burn it. People do that. Right.
Nancy:I say there was a period of my life, I did a lot of journaling daily. And then I saved all that, for some reason. And at one point in time was really good to offload it all. Yeah, burning would have been good.
Lou:I look back just today, as a matter of fact, which is so weird, we're talking about this at some of my own journaling that I had done. It could have been starting about five, six years ago. And I had not made an entry for a good number of months. I said, Oh, let me just take a look at what I have in there. And I was like, oh my god, it's almost like what I wrote, There was yesterday, yesterday or the day before, in many ways, much of what I've made so many changes over the past several years, in many ways, but in other ways. It's like, wow, my mind is still in a certain place where I can completely relate to that and feel like that was a something I had done yesterday.
Nancy:So still feels tangible to you is what you're saying and and you're not disconnected to who that person was. But you recognize the growth and or the changes that have occurred?
Lou:I did. And I think where I was going additionally, is the fact that when I when I kept with the writing, I think it it had me looking at my daily actions and experiences a little differently than when I don't make note of them. And what I mean by that is, I kind of I have a better idea of what I should be doing, or a better handle on my progress, if that makes sense. It felt like when I document my progress in that way, I have a better handle on okay, what more I need to do, you know, over over the next several days, in other words, there was also some things that I had put in there that I realized, oh, wow, I actually stopped doing that or stop doing certain things I call that's weird that I and I would have remembered and maybe kept doing those things. If I had kept journaling. It's just a weird, weird that I discovered that
Nancy:it's a level of accountability. It sounds like
Lou:yeah, it is. It's cool. And I also journal, you know, what didn't work. And I think that's helpful because or, you know, where my mind may have been at certain points during the day when it wasn't in a good place. And I may consider that so that I tried to not go there as much or try to, you know, reduce that activity.
Nancy:Well, what's funny as you say that with a handful of people I've been working with they were so pleased in discussion to then have like permission to start journaling with stuff they hate stuff that ticks them off and stuff that makes them angry like, you know, journaling and you can hear in their voice this hesitation or resistance or lack of desire. But they're curious to try it but they don't know how and and, and so I'll encourage if you feel ticked off, write that down. If you're mad write that down, like just unload whatever it is don't feel like you have to be happy in order sit down and journal and you have to paint a pretty picture in order to have that be worthwhile like just drop whatever is in your mind on The page, and it's so freeing for so many people, because then they do come back with happier things. But they know that they couldn't load whatever they feel like their life, the BS that their life was full of that day if they wanted to.
Unknown:Yeah. Do you feel like we have a propensity to like, not display negative emotions? Or talk about them very often? Like, it's kind of wrong to feel negative?
Nancy:Yeah, I think we were taught that. So it's kind of fun when you get permission to like,
Unknown:make sense that you would feel free if you're able to express that finally? Yeah. That's why I swear, every time I say, I'm freeing myself a little bit.
Lou:I was wondering if it was a generational thing. Like I know, the generations before me were very much at least according to how it was shared with me. And my own observations, like very much hide your emotions, especially men. I thought you meant
Nancy:swearing, you meant the hiding your emotions?
Lou:Oh, yes. Sorry. Kevin had mentioned the hiding the emotions. But the younger generations, even though I hear a lot and read a lot about they're more open with their feelings and all that stuff. I don't believe that is completely true. Those could be the loudest folks that are saying that. But in other words, I think a lot of we're humans, and I think we're wired certain ways. And when our parents told us something,
Unknown:well, I think evolutionary thing like if we showed weakness, it could be, it could be have a negative impact on our survival or something.
Lou:Yeah, and I don't know if it's just me, but I always wonder if like, again, on the male side, that it's, I have to be strong for those around me. I'm
Nancy:there, I have felt that as a parent, you know that there is a need to show that and not not show my weaknesses or my fears. But also, you just reminded me, Lou and I was with a group recently, and you know, a Jedi group. And we were talking about different cultural and ethnic backgrounds of experiences we've been exposed to. And the thing that was common for many is, the earlier generations of all of our different nationalities parents didn't share a lot with us or talk about it. And we think we don't know, but we think it was for what you said that not to Don't, don't expose your self, your dirty laundry, right? Like don't, don't expose yourself, people. But don't, don't air, your dirty laundry, don't let people know your problems. Don't show if you're worried or afraid. Like you have to represent something all the time and not talk about the bat. So you couldn't show your emotions or your fears. And that is what we were taught from, I think through generations.
Lou:And here's my little family moment here, but it just reminds me when I was little growing up, and we'd have whatever family dynamics going on, on any particular day, because it almost seemed like it was every day, but at any particular day, there was something going on. And the Brown family tends to be fairly loud. So we may be talking loud about something within the family. And my mom would often say quiet, and neighbors can hear you. so worried about the neighbors. And I'm like, you know, the neighbors are probably now I'm thinking the neighbors are going through the same damn shit. So they're probably over in their house, arguing and it's probably saying the same thing keeping down the neighbors can hear you.
Unknown:I mean, everybody's very similar in a lot of ways. And I think I do feel like the younger generations are in a way more in touch with their emotions are more able to express them. But I also think that there's pressure through social media to present this facade of being happy all the time and traveling constantly. And you know, you highlight the good things in your life and not the bad. So I think that can cause challenges as well, kind of put pressure on yourself to live a certain way or present a certain way, instead of what we always talk about. And I think one of the reasons that we started this podcast, which is to live authentically for yourself,
Lou:yam clean all that crap. Oh, that's a good point. You know, back in, back in my day, we you know, before social media, it was a different dynamic, but the same objective, I guess I'll call it of, of only sharing the good. Now, like you said, Yeah, younger generation seems to be going the same route is just doing it through social media.
Unknown:Back in the day, too, I think a lot of parents felt the pressure that their children really represented them with how they behaved and what they ended up doing with their lives. So it was like a reflection of them if their kid didn't feel good or ended up in jail or partied or something like that. Right?
Nancy:What were your parents like? No Sorry.
Lou:We know and kind of getting back to the whole sad thing. How do we know then, when we have all of this going on? How do we kind of move say from sad to glad? How do we process? You know, we get all this stuff out there through journaling, or even having maybe discussions.
Unknown:You know, what comes to mind for me, the first thing that came to mind is get uncomfortable. Like I could see a lot of people wanting to like start going to trails and running or walking outside, right, trying to get fresh air and all that. But what percentage of them are waiting for nice weather? Nancy, you brought up like the shitty weather right now. Me I'm waiting. You know, even if it's chilly out and you feel like it's something that you need just fucking go. Whether it's cold layer up, if it's windy, whatever raining, put a raincoat on, and just go and do it and push through. And it's, you know, choose your level of discomfort basically, because if you don't do those things and get uncomfortable willingly, I think you will unwillingly start feeling uncomfortable in your life, because you're not doing the things that you know you need to do. And I think that goes for anything, even in business like there are there. If you're a business owner, there are things that you're going to really enjoy about your business, there are things that you're going to not enjoy. And if you have to push through to a certain level or scale up to a certain level in order to delegate the things you don't enjoy out to people who might do them better. You have to do them until you get to that point, you can't just skip doing the things you know, you should do get uncomfortable, get out there and do whatever it is that you know you should do. Regardless of how you feel about it right now, I
Nancy:totally applaud that mine's
Lou:gonna say reminds me of that, of that phrase, you know, when x happens, I'll feel happy. When I do something, I'll feel satisfied. When I do. It's almost putting a, a deadline or a period at the end of something. As opposed to by continuing to whatever, I will move more toward happiness, I guess. We talked about destination. Yeah, your journey, not destination.
Nancy:Yeah. But you're postponing it by putting that date out there. And I think what you both are saying is don't put that date out there. I need to feel extra x has to happen before it can do I just do it. Like Kevin saying just do it today do it.
Unknown:But one of the challenges too, with creating like a goal or a vision is like we associate like every goal that we have, essentially boils down to some type of emotion that we associate with, right, of how we'll feel when we get there, whether that's a car and how glad we'll feel when we buy it or a certain level of income, or a relationship. It's always about emotion. Like that's really the underlying driving factor for all of us, because we're emotional beings. And I think one of the challenges that when we pick out a goal that we want to achieve, no matter how far in the distance, we automatically associate some type of emotion, how we're going to feel when we get to that point. And it can, it can be a real challenge when you get there and realize like, Okay, well, I've been doing this for a month now. And I don't really feel too much different. I think there's a lot that we can overlook with our accomplishments. And if it doesn't live up to our expectation, we might be disappointed. So I think it's good to set the goals. And I think emotion is a very strong driving force for us to get the, you know, to take action to achieve what we want. But at the same time, I think we have to live with a certain level of equanimity and understand the impermanence of everything and just slow and just take Nancy had what an episode or two ago you're telling me take it a step at a time like Don't think too big picture have a big picture. But don't think too big picture just enjoy it when you get out there. And you know, you should be going for a run or walking and it's real shitty out and you're out there and it's cold and it fucking sucks. Like you should have goosebumps because you're doing something that less than 1% of people in the world would would get up and do like be proud of yourself go out there take those steps.
Lou:It exercises an interesting example of that whole get comfortable with being uncomfortable because it is from what I've read the science says the best time to exercise is when you're tired and that just seemed always seems so strange to me. But they say the best time to go do it is when you're tired and I guess it gives you a renewed energy. I mean, I know I feel great when I when I do it, but it certainly feels uncomfortable. You know at first when you get going well,
Unknown:it shows you that you can that you can do it. And if you get used to doing things when you don't feel like doing it like we're going to create those habits and that mental fortitude to just go and do the thing that we know we need to do. You know again, if you wait until you're feeling like doing every little thing that you know you should be doing you're not going to get much done because you might not feel like doing shit all the time.
Nancy:I can't help but though go back to what you said, almost first thing today, and that is, whatever was going on around you, right? If fed up felt like eff it all, you chose to kind of retreat and come back to, I'm going to get my sleep, I'm going to eat better. And I'm going to get some movement. You know, exercise sometimes to me feels like too big a word is daunting for people that that's it, whereas movement is the thing you can do in the day. And so what you did is what you can control, and then all the other stuff ended up happening. So it's a weird balance, I think we're saying two things, and they're both will work. One is to get uncomfortable and move out of your comfort zone. But the other is to recognize what you can manage and just do that when the rest seems like too much. So I guess it comes back to trusting that inner voice, what is it really telling you is it telling you push through and you're being resistant, then push through,
Lou:just and especially. And when we talked about the fact that sometimes we feel overwhelmed, when we have just so much shit going on so much to do that we feel we need to get done. But you know, make that list, separate them into into the different piles of things that equate to the different parts of our life, prioritize, and kind of just do a little out of time, even if it's one from each category, each pile, something like that.
Unknown:Yeah, mines is something that you're talking about, or something that comes up for me is like, not try not to focus on the things that are out of your control. Because then it's just thoughts over and over and recycled emotions and focus on what you can control and take action and try to get the things if something's completely out of your control, but it sucks, you know, try to focus on things that are in your control.
Nancy:I love that out of control is thoughts. Basically, it's out of your control, it's thoughts, and you can change your thoughts by taking action. I
Lou:love that. That's beautiful. And, and that whole fear of the unknown. You know, Oh, what have what, what might happen if or but what if, or you know, that kind of language, we think that if we do something or don't do something, something else will happen. But we don't know, we don't know for sure, unless we do something. You know, that always reminds me of the fact that if we want to live our lives a certain way, be a certain person and get certain things done. Do it Anyway, do it whatever you need to do take action because even if you do not always get there on the path you want to I don't want to use the word fail. But in other words, it may take multiple attempts, multiple trials for you to get there, but you will get there. And those attempts are all just part attorney a part of our growth a part of learning. I think that earlier today,
Nancy:you can celebrate that you can celebrate the accomplishment of the day know that you'll accomplish more tomorrow.
Unknown:And I do think that less important what you achieve than who you become. While you're on the journey to achievement. I think you'll become a completely different person and you'll be able to handle all the ups and downs of life much better because you are now persistent, you have mental fortitude. You've proven to yourself that you deserve to
Lou:agree. And that's how we start to move from sad to GLAD maybe we'll have a future episode on glad we'll have to make up some words for that because that's not a given acronym, but we'll think of something. Anyway folks. Thank you for tuning into today's episode. We hope you found it educational and entertaining. And when we look forward to you joining us on our next one. Bye for now