With all the talk about UFOs in the news and around the world recently, we decided to talk about the subject but from a different point of view. How can we tell what is worth our attention and energy and what is probably just a waste? What serves us and what inhibits us?
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With all the talk about UFOs in the news and around the world recently, we decided to talk about the subject but from a different point of view. How can we tell what is worth our attention and energy and what is probably just a waste? What serves us and what inhibits us?
CYFHB:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cyfhb
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/c_y_f_h_b/
Email: cyfhbpodcast@gmail.com
Hello, and welcome to clean your fucking house bitch with Nancy, Kevin and Lou. In our program, we get real about the challenges of life and living. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to ensure you are on your desired path for success and satisfaction. Yet from the day you are born, you gradually and subconsciously fill it with tons of useless shit that gets in your way. Why is that? How can you clean that mess up? We'll show you how to get ready to clean your fucking house.
Kevin Anderson:Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode. As we normally do, Lew, Nancy and I were just chatting for a while just about current events and kind of deciding what we wanted to talk about with this episode. And someone brought up the topic of UFOs, because, or UAPs, as they call them now. Because there's been a lot going on around the world. And in the news, at least in America, I don't know what's airing in other countries, news stations. But we started talking about UFOs, we started talking about aliens, ancient civilizations, interdimensional beings. And so we thought that we would bring that forward today. And kind of talk about topics surrounding that. And the first one that came to mind for us was distraction. And what was it a few episodes ago, I know, we were talking about goals, because there was the New Year and New Year's resolutions, although we don't like using that phrase. But how much of what we come across in our everyday lives is really a distraction to the things that really matter. And then what really matters to us, you know, if we have goals that we want to accomplish, or we want to become a better person, or a different type of person with different characteristics or whatever goals that we have, typically our goals involve change, right? Whatever goals we have, how does it serve us to get consumed by things that are going on? Or to get distracted by things that are going on? So I guess, yeah, we want to talk about distraction. First and foremost, what comes to mind for you? What comes to mind about UFOs? Guys for you? Well, first and
Lou:foremost, UAP. I mean, we're changing lingo and acronyms every single. No, I can't keep up. I hope I'm not the only one out here. Maybe some of our listeners don't know whether what
Unknown:aerial phenomenon. Oh, wow, UFO has too much stigma?
Lou:Boy, huh? Well, I gotta say that kind of distracted me, the moments are brought up that terms like what the hell is I was trying to think I was trying to put some words to those letters. And I couldn't really come up with anything that made sense. But here we are. We are now recording this particular episode in February. So we're talking a month after the again, New Year's resolutions, experience or exercise took hold. Which again, we don't like to think of it that way. Because for us, goal setting, planning all that taking action is year round. But a lot of studies have shown that about this time of the year is when people start to pull back fall back into their old habits, stop taking action doing the things they want to do. So this is actually great timing for this topic. And I think that is the perfect word for perhaps why some of that occurs is there's distractions.
Nancy:I was literally just thinking marrying the two together from everything that we've just put out there into the universe today is really because these unidentified things distract us from what we were committing ourselves to. So self sabotage is what gets in the way and takes us off track. And it can come in so many different forms.
Unknown:How much of that you feel like is habitual, like say that engage in a certain type of distraction, and then we decide we want to not engage with that anymore, but then we slowly kind of trickled back into the same habit that we had before. Like I was off tick tock for a while right now I hear aliens and I'm like, let's go let's find out all about it. You know,
Nancy:I think it's totally related to habits and from the habit change, you know, class that that we took, really getting grounded in a habit and or ungrounded right, creating a habit is the same as lead Go have a habit. And the thing that carries you forward is the level of automaticity. So how consistent and repetitive? Are we with that thing? Or with letting go of that thing? So totally Kevin about habit and where we stand with it. And the hardest part is when the interruptions oh, I want to see this new story or Oh, it's too cold, the freaking go outside, or, Oh, it's just one cookie that turns into three and then and then and then
Unknown:unlife is ever changing. It's impermanent, right? So without any debate, we're going to experience changes and challenges, and things are gonna pop up unexpected health complications pop up. So how do we keep that macro level view of what we really want to accomplish? That's more important than, you know, maybe not health complications, but still, like say something happened, and you want to maintain who you are, and not go down like a deep, dark path.
Nancy:Okay, I'm going to offer right there, it's not about the macro level view. And that's where we get stuck. Because if I'm thinking about my goal for six months from now, and that's that view I'm trying to keep, there's a whole bunch of space between here and there, I have to be thinking about, I really want to, you know, walk two miles three times a week. And that's just the easiest thing. I hate that we always go to like exercise and food, because there's so much more to life, but and if I'm not really staying consistent to that, what does it take for me to get out the door today frame of mind, I'm never gonna get to the six month goal. And all I need is today to make a decision. So I think the macro we need to let go of, and we need to get down to what's each day need to be comprised of, and how do I end this day with no regrets?
Unknown:That makes a lot of sense. And it sounds like it would be less, like more more.
Nancy:It's more tangible. Because, yeah, it's a smaller part of what it is you're doing. And like getting out the door, you know, in January might have just been flat. And this week, I've added some hills, you know, and that's truth told, but for everybody, it's different. So just staying focused in the thing is, I have to get out the door and move. It's not about where I want to be in six months.
Lou:A couple of things come to mind in terms of how distractions play into whether or not we maintain our plan with where we want to go. Yeah, our current goals. One of them is the fact that oftentimes, way more often than not folks go too much, too soon. Too heavy, too much. Too much, too much, too much meaning too fast. Too soon, too fast. Too soon. Yes, exactly. There's that we always talk about baby steps. And that is just so important. For some people, beginning, especially those who are just beginning some kind of fitness program, it really could get down to you know, what, you try to go to the gym and work out for two hours. That was your huge part of your plan. Really, your body was like, you know, buddy, all I need really right now is just my my, my workout clothes on the on the bed at the end of the bed and have the setup for the next day. When we go too much too soon. It's just not sustainable. those neural pathways. We're trying to dig, you know, a huge new path so quickly that I think the brain almost over what would be the word like sparks fly, would you call it overload? It's kind of like, oh, yeah, overload with just it's too much. And the distractions are a nice comfort or a nice way to say, You know what, I can't do it. Or that's really not the way to do it. The distractions come into play, because we just feel like that overload is too much. It's overwhelming. So okay, you know what, I'm going to fall back to those comfort levels. It feels better. Doing that extra hard work, especially when it's too much too soon as is feels very uncomfortable. Very hard. Very even physically draining, emotionally draining. And, you know, folks, we can't stress this enough. And we say it all the time. And yet it's still for some reason. I think a lot of folks don't embrace it enough is take it a little at a time build up.
Nancy:Yeah, you know, I'm gonna share something if I've shared this before recently. I apologize. But it's something I did that surprisingly helped me by staying just focused on one thing, even though there's so much that encompasses so I was doing the late night snacking and it's not even that late. That night, but you know, after dinner and closer to bedtime, and it wasn't even bad food choices, it was simply that I didn't need to be doing it. And I just wanted to stop. So I started intermittent fasting, I'm not really into the whole process of intermittent fasting. But what I committed myself to was 12 hours of just non eating, I didn't have to change what I ate, I just had to stop at a certain time and not start again for a certain time. So I didn't feel like I couldn't have what I wanted. And I didn't feel I couldn't do what I want. And so ate the same I did no obligation to change a thing, just stop at a certain time, tell the app, start fast, boom, don't eat in the morning, until I've reached that whatever those hours are. It's amazing all the extra benefits that came from simply allowing my metabolism to increase to have the not eating it. The later hours, the improved sleep and the more energy in the morning, all were just side effects of of the choice to do one thing and so low to your intention of small steps. You know, sometimes I feel baby steps is even like I don't even like to use the words because somebody might feel something about that. But what what's one, one action you can stay you can take and then just stay consistent with the rest will come with it.
Lou:There's a book I read. I can't I think it's called The Slight Edge. And for the life of me, I can't remember the author I want to say Jeff Olson, something like that could read. The whole idea behind the taking it slow and steady baby steps just a little time is the key is to create a baby step that's right for you. Because yeah, if it's too babyish, it might seem silly, or what's the point? If it's not baby enough, again, it will be overwhelming. But the author states the idea behind that or what to do is make it so that step that action is so easy to do. However, it will also be so easy not to do. It's almost like a balancing. And that's where Okay, now that I found I broken down the entire process down to something that's manageable. But again, it's easy for me to do it. But I have also have to realize it's easy not to do it and fall back into those undesired habits.
Nancy:Yeah, yeah, again, it comes to that area in the middle, how do we not be distracted? And continue to build the repetition that we want, and then increase the automaticity? Through the distractions? Well, what they are,
Unknown:at what point like I liked that idea, Lou, and the way that you phrase that? At what point do you increase your output? And again, looking at it kind of like physical health, eating, working out type of standpoint, but even say, let's say meditation, right, because that's something that is, at the surface, quite easy to do. And you can do it anywhere. And it's free, you can do it anytime. And a lot of people know how beneficial it is, but yet still don't do it consistently. Let's say that you decided that that magical spot was five minutes every other day. Right where it's easy to do, but it's easy not to do. At what point do you increase? Knowing that five minutes every other day may not be the best for you? I guess thinking about it. While I'm saying this, it's like that would still be better than nothing.
Nancy:Yeah. Totally. And then it will increase in that moment when you're there at the end of five minutes. And you're like, No, this is good. I'm hanging out. And
Unknown:you think that's what it is. So as I was also thinking about it, like a working out thing, like okay, a half hour a week, like for some people, that would be a dramatic increase in activity level, right. But yeah, so you push through, and you're like, Oh, I feel really good. I'm breathing much better today. I can do more, and then you push through. And then maybe that's when you analyze, like, what can I do more, or you've carved out, you've created an action plan, and you fit it into your lifestyle. So now you have maybe a little bit additional time to spend on doing those activities.
Nancy:Yeah, I think you'll feel it. I think you'll know,
Unknown:that's an interesting concept, Nancy, when you brought up like, not the my thinking macro level, because I think I've really trained myself to have like a top down view of everything. And I don't know if that comes from being in business for a long time and trying to like, make a business successful, or what it is, but I do realize, during this conversation, I have a very, very high level view of everything. And perhaps that's hindering me from accomplishing certain things because it gets overwhelming when there's so many areas that you've identified that you want improvement and you want to do better. So it's like, Where the hell do I start? And then it's easy to be like, You know what, fuck it, like, I'll start tomorrow. Like, I can't do things today, you know?
Nancy:Yeah. You know, what's funny about that is I know, we've talked about this before, and I, I can hear some of this coming from you. And we need that. We need that overarching goal, you need the macro goal. That it was I think we talked about it like when hiking Half Dome, right, and it's like it, we can't just go hike Half Dome today. But we can start with power walks. And then we can take the power walks up small hills and the small hills, that bigger hills and then hit, you know, hit the mountains. And you'll know, each level where you're at, but you need both, you need to have the overarching macro goal and then define the steps of progress along the way.
Lou:And you use a word that is very key Nancy is balanced. If we are stuck in the clouds, there's I'm going to use that as the analogy for the big picture view. We may feel overwhelmed and hindered and not want to keep going. But if we're also stuck in the weeds, and constantly picking apart the little details and the processes and every little aspect, which is so where I come from Kevin, it's funny, you're at, you're at one end, and I'm at the other end, where I have to go man, I kind of move myself up a little bit and look a little bit more big picture ish. It could be prior prior prior to it. Oh, wow. Having a weird brain freeze here. Prior or tising, prioritization, prioritizing, prioritizing. There we go. I think I have the access. And saying okay, what, first of all, is putting your things in order, you know, whatever steps you need to take with them. Prioritize. Yeah, big picture is the same thing you like you say, Kevin, you had 30 things that you want to work on that make the business more efficient, more successful, you got to focus on only a couple of them. So balance is key.
Unknown:It's funny that you use the analogy of like being in the clouds, because recently I've realized that I think I need to do more work grounding myself, because I try to push myself to this like, higher spiritual vibrational level. So that I'm vibing really high. But I feel like it's allowing me to somewhat feel disconnected from the physical that we live in, if that makes any sense to you. So that is, it's funny that you bring that up, because it's something that I'm actually putting work into is become more grounded, more connected, more connected to my relationships, that type of stuff. Because I mean, we do live in this 3d world. So what's the sense in being miles above what's really going on?
Nancy:Heaven, this takes me back to what brought the three of us together originally. And we were, you know, promoting a workshop and the component that was yours was future self, and that you need to see your future self but we don't live in the future. If we can't be present in the now then. We're missing out on life. Because we don't, we can't take action in history. And we can't take action in the heat in the future. We need to have a vision of the future. But we had a live in the present, and what are the actions you can take today. I love that that's what's on your mind. But also that that totally was your favorite part of the workshop.
Lou:The key phrase we use I think we turned it into a little bit of a singsong thing down with VPP. Yeah, you know me a vision with pulling power. Remember, do it yourself, but it has to be strong enough to pull. Yeah, you know, with VTT. Yeah, you know, me, my two older you guys remember that song? No.
Unknown:Okay, great rendition. Okay. It's funny how we change over time, because when I was younger, I was very past oriented and past influenced. And it caused me to battle negative experiences and emotions for quite a while, you know, I think they coined it as depression. And then you work your ass off to not think that way and not operate that way. And now you end up on the other side of the fucking spectrum. And that's like now I'm just super future oriented. So bringing up the word that you both brought up balance, right? Not being overly aggressive with what you want and just, I mean, what's the point of any of this if we don't enjoy it? You know if we can't create connection in our last episode, which will be up loaded is on love and if we can't love, and you love in the present, right, because everything we experience is in the present moment.
Nancy:The other ironic thing that came out of all this is as we were talking about talking about distractions today, and all the unidentified things that get in our way, who would have thought that you would have had an aha moment about your own distractions?
Unknown:I feel like I've been having on every single episode that we talk.
Nancy:That's why we're here, right? Are all of us.
Unknown:Yeah, that's why these conversations are so useful. This is the type like, I'm not a big talker. I'm fairly introverted. But that's why I enjoy doing this with you guys so much is because we have these enlightening conversations, and we challenge each other. And, you know, it's just good. It's a good vibe, I appreciate you both.
Lou:Plus, we are all of us students, not just, I don't wanna say teachers I that word, either. But what we're, we're learning what we share not just sharing it better? I don't know.
Unknown:Yeah, absolutely. Beautiful. I think that's part of it, too, is that we, I think all of us should strive to continue learning and growing forever, right? It's all, every new thing is a new experience. And the more that we can get out of our comfort zone, and try new things and push you know our boundaries in a meaningful way. And try to do it with balance. You know, we continue growing, I remember, again, when I was young looking, looking at my future a little bit and starting to kind of change how I operated. It was like I always, I always felt like once I would achieve a certain thing, I would associate that achievement with a certain type of emotion. Right? Like, well, once I achieved this, I'm going to feel this way. And then it's like, once you do achieve it, you are a totally different person, but then you may not feel exactly how you thought you would feel.
Nancy:So you're evolving.
Unknown:Yeah, you're evolving. But then I think that sometimes with that comes a little bit of disappointment, where it's like, well, I thought I was gonna be super fucking happy if I have this great relationship with someone that I love that loves me. But then you realize, like, that's work to. Like, nothing happens just easy. So it's, again, the balance and being present. That I think is is very key.
Lou:Plus, we always talk about the fact that this is a journey, not a destination, you may achieve a certain goal or get to a certain place, but I think of them as plateaus. What's the where is it plateau? Those plateaus, and you're still climbing. We're always climbing that's goes along with a lifelong learner. I don't think we ever say oh, we're there now. Yeah. I don't think life is about getting there. It's well, it's about going there and not getting
Unknown:many different. There's though, right? And you might get to money. There's that you want it to get to. But once you get there, what always happens is that there's another there. And I think that can be good if you keep staying focused and not getting distracted. But think about it from the standpoint of like material objects. If we're very materially focused, and we want this $30,000 car and we get it what's next, right? Like, then there's that new $60,000 car and it's just like a spiral. So I think sometimes that stuff can be a distraction to what really matters as well. Not that cars aren't fucking awesome, because they are.
Lou:No, that's an excellent example. Because you can eat around that
Unknown:to make you feel fulfilled. Like yes, it's I think, you should be proud. And you should enjoy it. But it's not going to fill holes or gaps.
Lou:No, and those things are, quote unquote, distractions to where you want to go, who you want to be in life in general. Money, cars, houses, those things. You know, I don't think make the person they may be symbols of something that the person has become in a way, but they're not per se. They are destined to fail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Nancy:So we're always surprised by what our subjects bring us distractions. What are your distractions? What gets in your way?
Lou:With all this talk of UFOs and UAPs, and whatever other acronyms are going on out there, it's like, okay, what I find interesting is today, it's UAP. Tomorrow, it's what you know, every day that brings something new and different, which in and of itself is a distraction. We're always distracted by what the new hottest trending thing is that that's out there. And that in and of itself can be something that's there. He's strong and pulling us away from keeping on track with what our original plan is. So don't let those shiny new objects and those things pull you away from from who you are and where you're going. They can be entertaining, but don't let them.
Unknown:I think a big distraction for me is the search for understanding and truth. And I say that, humbly. Because I've always been that type of person to try to figure out everything. Like, what are we doing here on this planet? Where do we come from? What does any of this mean? And perhaps that's a distraction from being able to really enjoy it, and experience it. Because I think when it boils down to it, we are here to have this experience and whether it's for karmic growth or, or spiritual thing, or maybe we're just a random planet spinning in the universe, and this is our one life. What all of that boils down to is that we should experience it, because it's happening, and we're here. What about you? That's heavy. What's your distraction?
Nancy:Oh, my gosh, I have so many. But as you were saying that what I was thinking about is my real need. So the guys know that I had a little bit of a physical challenge through most of the holidays. And my focus was on these objectives, right of getting ahead in certain ways, and not about the physicality that my body needed every day. And I've come full circle back to, I have to pay attention to what my body needs every day, in order to be able to maximize. What's ahead. So my abstraction was those shiny objects. What makes me more credible? And then those don't matter if I can't move. Yeah.
Lou:Isn't it amazing, though, how much time we do have to give to something. When that something climbs the list. In other words, I'm not really putting a lot of time with my physical fitness. my well being I'm not exercise I'm doing all of a sudden, I have a damn issue where I'm out of breath. When I'm climbing the stairs, or I hurt my back getting out of it. Like, damn, I better start putting a little effort with getting a little bit more fit here. So I can breathe. Yeah, all
Unknown:the time. It was really like about perspective when it boils down to it, because I don't know that analogy. But it's something one of my favorites was like, what? What's the one thing that a paralyzed person wishes they can do? And it's walk, I'm paraphrasing, but like someone who lost the use of their legs, like they just wish they could walk again. But yet we walked every day. And we're not grateful about it. And we don't look at it, like we're blessed. What if we went blind, like any any of these wonderful abilities we have, or these conveniences that we have in life, we don't fully appreciate them a lot of the time until we lose them. And it's unfortunate, and I don't know if that has to do with just how we are as humans or what, what it is, but gratitude, I don't feel like we've brought that up in a few episodes. But if we focus on the things we do have, and really pay attention and feel the gratitude for the things we have while we have them. Maybe we won't feel like we've wasted so much time, or maybe we won't be as distracted by the things that truly don't matter. Because maybe we have everything that we truly need to be happy now. What we're just not looking at it.
Lou:And that certainly comes into play if we ever feel we're getting a little off track with our goals is Hey, be thankful and and have gratitude for what you did accomplish. Self Compassion, we talk about that as well. If you all of a sudden feel, Oh, I'm a failure now where I can't I failed at this thing. I can't do what I can't do or whatever. Boy, that's gonna really derail you quickly.
Unknown:And it's glass half full. That's funny, because that can be like one of the biggest motivators to is accomplishment. And if you feel like you have accomplished something, you're going to be much more motivated. Which I don't know how everybody feels about the word motivation. Some people say motivation is necessary. I think that regardless of where we're at, we're always motivated for something whether it's more more motivated to watch TV or workout. Motivation is a big buzzword regarding a lot of the goals that we want to experience.
Nancy:It builds with accomplishments. And so I think it's awesome to build that foundation of small steps on top of small steps and rejoice in what you've accomplished and be grateful. For sure.
Unknown:Well, great episode guys. Let's all be on the lookout for the UFOs or UAPs flying around outside right now. And thanks everybody for tuning in. We leave us a review find us on social and we'll see you all next time
Lou:bye and Happy Valentine's Day